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[[Category:Featuring the Supreme Quaestor]]

Latest revision as of 16:49, 8 June 2024

The Winter Quests was a novel in the The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids series, cowritten by Aristide Twain and Lupan Evezan. It served as the series' 2021 winter special.

As was customary for such a special, many characters and settings from previous installments of the series were thrown together into a Yuletide plot. This included a prominent supporting role for Jenny Everywhere.

Contents

Plot

Chapter 1

Although it's late December, Juliet-178 and Pythagoras-858 are called by the Supreme Quaestor to his office on the top floor of the C.I.I. Headquarters, where the Quaestor wordlessly hands Pythagoras a piece of paper describing an assigment, prompting him to whisk Juliet off to his Fog Ship and from there to a snowy forest in Finland. As they traipse through the snow, eventually making their way to a clearing with a stone in the centre, Pythe explains to Juliet that they are set to meet a goddess of the Norse pantheon to discuss a bargain between her and the Crew, to acquire an item which she is auctioning off and which the Crew are quite anxious that some of its enemies (like the Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles) not get their hands on. Juliet is needed because it is likely the goddess will send the Cupids on a mythical quest to prove their worth. Pythe eventually realises that the stone he's been sitting on is in fact a Rune Stone.

Chapter 2

CS-NA, or “Cesse”, a ship-building robot whom the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids took in a long time ago, reflects on the patterns of the lives of the Clockwork Cherubs and events in the Cupid Homeworld. He notes a trend of the Cupids' adventures having gotten higher-scale and more dangerous over the last few years. Fearing that this will impact their holidays despite Celebration-665's best efforts, he resolves to “Save Christmas” as thanks for how kind the Cupids have always been to him.

Chapter 3

After examining the Rune Stone, Pythe presses a hand onto the stone in an area that seems to be meant for the purpose. This activates the stone's magic, and it quickly explodes into a bank of magical fog with the goddess at the centre of it. Pythe begins talking to her deferentially, but soon Juliet-178 cannot stop herself from involving herself in the conversation, which takes a livelier turn. The goddess, at any rate, explains that she is considering the Crew's proposition, but does indeed want Pythe and Juliet to prove themselves by going on a quest to “slay a certain wyrm and recover a certain 'serpent'”. Juliet is overjoyed.

Chapter 4

CS-NA, having determined that he needs to go out into the Multiverse to get a real sense of what Christmas is all about so as to be in a position to set up the best Christmas ever for the Cupids, visits the Celestial Foam Network to ask Doctor Sigma for the use of a Fog Ship. Sigma, whom Cesse finds in the process of repairing Rosen-035's Dimensional Monocle, gives him a personal dematerialisation circuit that can be plugged directly into his own systems, with no need of a ship. Setting random coordinates, CS-NA leaves on his adventure.

Chapter 5

After the goddess leaves them in a flash of light, Pythagoras-858 and Juliet-178 decide to get themselves lost further into the woods, until the magic of the old trees leads them out of the mundane Finnish woods and into “the Forest”. Once there, they find their way to a clearing with a small waterfall tumbling off a large stone. Guessing that there must be a secret cavern behind the waterfall, Juliet hops in, only to find that while she was right, the cavern in question is not the “secret gateway into the World Below” that they're looking for, but rather the burrow of a Scandinavian Troll.

Chapter 6

CS-NA ends up at the Interdimensional Soda Jerkery, where he orders a root-beer float from the soda jerk without much idea of how a being like himself might consume it. He bumps into an uncharacteristically depressed Alistair Neezley. With CS-NA getting it across that he's looking for ways to learn more about Christmas, the two head back to the Tavern together in Neezley's Void Ship, as Neelzey knows the staff are setting up the Tavern's annual party. On the way, when Neezley explains that he's feeling down because he has come to realise that his acquaintances at the Interdimensional Tavern don't like him and find his tall tales annoying, CS-NA decides to let him tell him one of his stories without interruption, which successfully cheers him up. Neezley also suggests that CS-NA start tapping Morse code as a way to communicate more precisely than with his visual holograms. At the Tavern, Tpxszum and SERIAL CODE 000000234 reassure Neelzey that they do like him, and, indeed, have a Christmas gift picked out for him. Looking back over these events, CS-NA, as he moves on to the next random destination, decides that this has taught him about one key “element of holiday joy”: kindness.

Chapter 7

After Pythagoras-858 jumps after Juliet-178 into the Troll's cave, the three of them somehow end up teleporting to the Interdimensional Tavern, where they are greeted by Tpxszum, whom Juliet greets as an old friend. As introductions continue, the Troll gives his name as Tero Trollgarsson, and Juliet explains how she transported him, Pythe and herself to the Tavern: using a flawed, experimental Dematerialisation Engine similar to the one Doctor Sigma gave CS-NA, which she filched from Sigma's lab. When Tpxszum asks if they'd like to order anything, they find themselves invited to a table by a mysterious old man.

Chapter 8

CS-NA arrives in the outsized Workshop of Madame Tarsa and is immediately picked up and noticed by the Toymaker herself, who examines him alongside her son, Joybuzzer, trying to figure out what kind of toy he is and which of them made him. Realising he is in fact a visitor and alive, she shrinks herself and Joybuzzer down to a size in scale with Cesse's own, allowing Cesse to explain himself, conveying that he is a friend of the Copper-Colored Cupids and that he wants to learn more about holiday spirit. Tarsa agrees to let him hang around her and Joybuzzer. Cesse is initially unenthused as he watches the mother and son working on wrapping up presents, but things get more exciting when the Frost King magically enters the Workshop, having invited himself to the holiday celebrations, and (thinking CS-NA to be a pest or interloper) freezes him in a block of ice. Tarsa is less than pleased about this development, unlike Joybuzzer, who greets him enthusiastically as his “Uncle Frost”.

After Tarsa gets him to unfreeze Cesse, the King further meddles by suggesting that they go out and look for a real Christmas tree, an idea with which Tarsa is not especially taken, but to which she acquiesces to please Joybuzzer. The King uses his powers to transport the four of them to another universe, to a small patch of evergreens on a mountaintop. While Tarsa, the Frost King and the Clown discuss their choice of tree, Cesse, who is not familiar with snow, tries to test out the terrain and ends up falling into the snow and snowballing down the slope until Joybuzzer catches him. They descend from the mountaintop and, reaching the snowy valley, the “family” of Tarsa, Joybuzzer and the King get into a playful magic-aided snowball fight.

After the mother and son handily trounce the King, they all return to the Workshop to decorate their tree together. Cesse decides that all of this has taught him that “family” is an essential element of holiday spirit, leading him to the conclusion that the Crew ought to have one big party instead of a lot of lonelier small ones. Inputting random coordinates into his Dematerialisation Engine once again, he departs for another unknown location after thanking Tarsa's family and saying goodbye.

Chapter 9

Watching the old man who invited them for drinks closely, Pythagoras-858 comes to the conclusion that he is Odin, and tries to tell Juliet-178. She has noticed as well, however, and loudly makes it known, showing no awareness that Odin is trying to remain incognito. The God doesn't take offence at that much, but does seemingly become angered when Juliet makes a comment that seems insensitive when speaking to a one-eyed man; however, it becomes clear Odin is simply having them on when he makes his “divine punishment” a simple request that the Cherubs pay for the drinks instead of him because he's forgotten his wallet. Not having any money either, Juliet prevails on Tpxszum, promising a future favour in exchange. Soon enough, the four all enjoy their drinks, and Odin explains that he is meeting them in the Interdimensional Tavern, outside “the mortal universe”, as a loophole to be able to influence an evil plot afoot. He speaks a prophecy to them before leaving, giving them a final piece of advice: to stick with the Troll, irritating though he is. He notably does not leave the Troll himself a choice in the matter, to the latter's annoyance.

Chapter 10

CS-NA lands in a new realm inside a sleigh pulled by a caribou-like creature. The occupants of the sleigh are Century Smith and Briar, who make sure he isn't a Mechamite. Smith realises that CS-NA's beeping noises are Subcinctan Audial Code, with which he is familiar. He then explains that although they were trying to enjoy a vacation, they've been having to deal with a confluence of cyborg species of all stripes competing for the title of Supreme Cyborg, to be bestowed by Cybele. The three arrive in the closest village in time to witness the landing of an alien ship and the arrival of six mechanical beings looking comically similar to macarons, and who introduce themselves as the fearsome Mecharons. After some chasing and fleeing, CS-NA realises that he can use his binary beeping to try and disrupt the Mecharons' control centres. This does not instantly work, but after sneaking onto the Mecharon ship, he is able to extract their weakness (positive emotions) from the computer; broadcasting sheer joy in binary, he forces all the Mecharon soldiers to deactivate themselves to evade the emotional display, and the leader has them all retreat aboard the ship. With the day saved, Smith and Briar prepare to join the celebration with the villagers, but CS-NA once more declines to join.

Chapter 11

Odin leaves on his eight-legged horse without letting the Cupids ask him any further questions, leaving Pythagoras-858, Juliet-178 and the Troll to ponder the meaning of the prophecy. Pythe figures out that the first part they should interrogate is the verse about “the Enemy of Winter showing them the way”, since a direction is what they most urgently need, otherwise having no knowledge of where to go from the Tavern. They deduce that the “Enemy of Winter” is a warm hearth fire. Roz reveals that the Tavern has a retractable hearth with a magic living fire-deity, Logi. Although the Logi of a different universe's Norse pantheon, he overheard the Cupids' conversation with Odin and is happy to help them in exchange for some scented redwood. Opening his jaws wide, he creates a firey doorway into the World Below.

Chapter 12

CS-NA finds himself on a tachyonic sailing ship which he soon realises is the Fish'n'Ship, the vessel of the Faction of the Fooling Fish. They explain to him that they have a lot of ideas for Christmas pranks, but have been unable to test any of them out because everyone keeps running away from them. Though hesitant, CS-NA is won over by the idea that those are uniquely Christmassy practical jokes, and agrees to act as their fully-consenting guinea pig. He spends a day in a town in either the Prime Universe or a Prime-adjacent one, engaging in various Christmas activities with the Fish, which, to his confusion, can't really be called pranks. As the evening draws nigh, the Fish reveal they were actually testing him to act as their “secret operative” on a mission.

They want him, whom they understand to have greater experience and skill as a dimensional traveller than themselves, to help them enter Dimension Zeta-32-Orangepeel-Grbbrzkwlkglb, a heavily-reinforced pocket universe that is the refuge of the survivors of a pandimensional war. To CS-NA's surprise, the Fish's motives are purely altruistic: reasoning that, most likely, no magical gift-givers like Santa Claus or the Toymaker have been able to get to these survivors, the Fish have gathered presents to bring to them, intending to reintroduce them to Christmas fun. Not without difficulties, CS-NA, from the crow's-nest of the Fish'n'Ship, manages to get them to navigate past the barrier around the pocket dimension. They are welcomed in good cheer after the initial suspicion is gotten over, and CS-NA, having puzzled out that “Fun” is another one of the Fundmanetal Elements of Holiday Joy that he's been compiling, agrees to join the festivities before he helps the Fish back out through the barrier and continues his journeys.

Chapter 13

After the doorway closes behind them, Pythagoras-858, Juliet-178 and Tero Trollgarsson cautiously enter the World Below, which remains lit in orange hues from no visible source. They make their way through cavern after cavern, discussing the prophecy, until they bump into a giant serpent emerging from the ground. A confused and confusing serpent about whether he is a “serpent” or a “wyrm” ensues, which the Troll cuts short, ignoring the “confuse not your wyrms” verse of Odin's prophecy and ruling that the goddess should have been more careful in setting the terms of the quest if she wanted more precise results, and that from where he's standing, the sooner he slays a snake and thus technically fulfills the quest, the sooner he can go home. Picking up a broken stalagmite to use as a weapon, he charges at the humongous serpent.

Chapter 14

CS-NA ends up in a quiet forest in what appears to be the Prime Universe, with the only building in sight a wooden shop on a hill. He enters to find an old woman looking through a photo album. To his surprise, she is not overly frightened by the sudden appearance of a robot in her shop, instead calling for her friend Jenny in the other room — who proves to be none else than Jenny Everywhere, who explains that Amelia is a good friend of hers and she always shops at her quaint little shop for Christmas presents. CS-NA takes a tour of the well-ordered collection of eclectic goods, particularly enjoying the Christmas ornaments room; he stumbles upon a purple hair ribbon which Jenny decides to purchase as a present for a friend of hers. Concluding from all this that “care” is another important element of the holdiay, CS-NA moves on to what he expects will be his final stop before he goes back to the Cupid Homeworld and begins to plan his party in earnest.

Chapter 15

After an initial failure, Tero Trollgarsson's second attempt to charge at the giant serpent is interrupted by the materialisation of CS-NA in-between them. With the two Cupids recognising him, CS-NA explains that he arrived here using randomised coordinates, but the serpent remains skeptical, thinking that his arrival at such a timely moment must have been some kind of sign from destiny. Putting their theories together, the gang arrive at the notion that they have all been manipulated from afar, and drawn to this place, by yet another Norse deity: Loki, the Trickster, who is the web-spinning “Spider” of Odin's prophecy. The serpent reveals that he is in fact Loki's son, Jormungandir, the World-Serpent, and is in the World Below in the first place to visit his father for the holidays.

Chapter 16

After convincing Jormungandir not to harm CS-NA (who he thought might be another candidate for the “Spider” of the prophecy, and thus best gotten out of the way despite the Cupids' theory), Pythagoras-858 and Juliet-178 realise that the Wyrm they must actually defeat must be the venom-dripping serpent affixed above Loki's prison to prevent him from escaping. Realising that the fulfillment of the Cupids' mission might be to his father's benefit, Jormungandir agrees to lead them, Trollgarsson and CS-NA to the chamber where Loki is imprisoned, although he warns them that they might run into a less friendly monster on the way: his brother.

Chapter 17

Jormungandir leads the group through hazardous rooms with boiling geysers, while CS-NA ponders the prophecy, trying to interpret the verses the Cupids hadn't gotten to yet. Eventually, however, they cross paths with the gigantic wolf Fenrir, Jormungandir's brother. When a confused Pythagoras-858 asks how Fenrir can be here when he too is supposed to be imprisoned, Fenrir explains that because of the waning power of the Old Gods and old magic, the magical fetters that bind him are not as strong as they used to be, and he can sometimes escape them for short amounts of time before they pull him back. He further explains that for the same reason, he cannot allow Loki to escape before Ragnarok actually occurs, lest the contradiction of the prophecy accelerate the decline of the Gods' powers.

With Fenrir figuring out that bringing the Cupids, Troll and robot into Loki's chamber is some kind of scheme to free Loki, he categorically refuses to let them or Jormungandir through. Pythagoras reluctantly allows Juliet-178 to try and shoot a Cupid Arrow at Fenrir to pacify him, but CS-NA knocks it out of the air before it hits the wolf, reminding the Cupids that Odin's prophecy instructed them “not to hunt the Hound”. With no way past, Trollgarsson is quick to declare that the adventure is over and try to go home; however, as he does so, he knocks a large boulder into the flow of a geyser; blown up into the air, it falls back, after some confusion, squarely onto Fenrir's head, knocking him out cold. As Juliet presses Pythe for more details about the mission, which he assures her will soon be answered, the group cautiously proceed into the Prison of Loki, which they see is full of pots, bowls and vases of all shapes and sizes, full of a “strange, shining substance”. The Snake of Loki, hanging from the ceiling, notices them and hisses menacingly.

Chapter 18

The group enter the chamber and are greeted by the goddess with the golden torque, who explains that she is Sigyn, Loki's wife. She urges the Cupids, Troll and robot to attack the Wyrm already, but Juliet-178 demands to be told the nature the prize they're fighting for in the first place. Pythagoras-858 explains that it is the very venom of the Wyrm, collected in jars and other pieces of pottery all those years; having run out of space to store them, Sigyn wants to clear things out, and the Crew fears that the supernatural venom would work as a counter to their Love Potion, hence being keen that no other power than themselves get their hands on the substance.

While Pythe and Juliet ponder how to defeat the snake, Cesse finds Loki and has a brief talk with the bound trickster, who convinces the robot to free him, as keeping him imprisoned on Christmas would be in breach of his dedication to unconditional Christmas spirit. Noticing him, but not having overheard the conversation, Pythe and Juliet ask for his advice on how to defeat the snake. Loki tells them to remove the bowl currently shielding him, letting a bit of venom hit Loki, who begins thrashing in supernaturally-charged pain, causing a small earthquake that shakes the Wyrm loose from the ceiling, as well as several stalactites, which fall onto the Wyrm and knocking it out. While Juliet rushes to properly defeat the dazed serpent, CS-NA goes to free Loki, who begins to smile.

Chapter 19

After a bout of “snake-rodeo”, Juliet-178 successfully defeats the Wyrm, tying it to a stalagmite. Just as she and Pythagoras-858 remark on their surprised relief that there weren't any eleventh-hour complications, they turn around to find CS-NA snapping the last of Loki's bonds. Freed, Loki immediately uses his shapeshifting powers to turn into a bird and zoom out of the cavern, where Sigyn and Jormungandir welcome him back. He declares his intention to take advantage of the fact that the mortals have largely forgotten the truth of the gods to take over the world with his wife and son, forming a new ruling triumvirate of Aesir.

Juliet tries to fly after Loki, but, without missing a bit, the god shapeshifts into a cheetah, bound away faster than she can follow. Juliet is batted out of the air by a swing of Jormungandir's tail while Loki shifts into a pterosaur and flies out of the World Below and out in the Prime Universe. However, the Cupids watch as the final piece of Odin's prophecy slots into place: “let the Hound to the hunting” — as Fenrir, finally awake, chases after his father and quickly brings him back, explaining once again to him and Sigyn that he thinks the risk of dissolving the Norse pantheon's powers by contradicting the prophecy is too great. He transports Loki back to his cavern, rolling together some of the fallen stalactites and boulders to erect a prison cell in the centre of the chamber.

Pythe and Juliet get an explanation out of CS-NA about what he's been up to and why on Earth he freed Loki. They agree to sweep his well-intended lapse of judgment under the rug, and go to Sigyn to collect their prize, as, after all, they did fulfill the terms of the quest even if it did not have the consequences Sigyn hoped for. However, she reneges on the deal and begins using her magic to summon the rival bidders to the cavern. Before they can fully materialise, however, Trollgarsson, desperate not to let the adventure prolong itself, puts an unlikely end to it by drinking all of the venom, rendering the auction moot.

After the bidders dissipate, Jormungandir and Fenrir start bickering about which of them, or, if not either of them, then the Cupids, deserves the blame for how wrong this day has gone. Cesse, still feeling queasy about seeing a family unhappy on Christmas, albeit Loki's family, puts his newly-completed “holiday protocols” to use setting up a proper holiday for them, leaving the group happy as he, the Cupids, and the Troll (in exchange for a promise of a cup of coffee) make their way back to the Cupid Homeworld. There, CS-NA sets up a huge party in a cleared-out warehouse, inviting not only all the Cupid Homeworlders but also some of their interdimensional friends, such as Jenny Everywhere, who comes with a version of her sister Julie. The party is a rousing success, and, seeing everyone get along and enjoy one another's presence, CS-NA adds a final “Fundamental Element of Holiday Joy” to his list: love.

Worldbuilding

Jenny

Laura Drake

Julie Jacobs

Universes

Other

Continuity

Behind the scenes

Read online

This story is available online on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.

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