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The Frost King's Treasure was a novel in the The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids series. Its first Christmas serial, it was written by Lupan Evezan and illustrated by Aristide Twain.
Contents
Plot
Part 1
Tpxszum and Frederick are hard at work preparing the Interdimensional Tavern for its annual Christmas-esque party, whose celebrations and decorations are a mash-up of traditions from similar-but-distinct holidays from across the Multiverse. Taking a break in the staff room, they are startled by the appearance of Alistair Neezley, who shows them a parcel which showed up at the Tavern's door. It speaks of “the Frost King's treasure”, apparently available in “a place where it's snowy all year”, complete with a set of coordinates. Neezley, who read about this treasure a few months ago in “a book about the Multiverse’s greatest treasures”. After getting Volensholagoz's permission, the trio thus fly off towards those coordinates aboard Alistair Neezley's Void Ship.
Part 2
In the Cupid Homeworld, too, everything is festive; while the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids' authorities refuse to authorise human-style Christmas celebrations, Celebration-665 has routed around this by inventing a Cupid-specific Festival of Giving to be celebrated around the same time of year. Dandy-432 has been getting into the spirit of the season, importing a pine tree from the Prime Earth and putting it up in the Blue Feather's wing of the Department of Postal Services' building. After failing to convince Pessimist-242 to share in his festive cheer, he decides to try and find Larrikin-1029 to complete a carol-singing quartet before tonight, but instead stumbles into a Mail Delivery Cupid who gives him a latter similarly urging him to go on a quest for the Frost King's Treasure. He immediately decides to accept it, and pressures Pessimist into accompanying him.
Part 3
In their hideout in a city on the Prime Earth, the Gang of the Green Gorilla are sulking about having nothing much to do this Christmas, lightly considering then dismissing various schemes, until they receive yet another copy of the invitation letter. They immediately decide to go seek the treasure, but, having no knowledge of interdimensional travel, fail to even notice the dimensional coordinates hidden in the margin, and are left to guess that the “place where it's snowy all year” must be Antarctica.
Part 4
In their own home base, the Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles consult three fortune-telling birds they have in a veiled cage. One of them, the Metafictional Macaw, informs them that there has been “a disturbance in the format”: the ongoing narrative is a serial instead of a one-shot. The Macaw tells them of the formula of the last few Parts, and is able to recite the message and coordinates for them, even though they didn't yet receive an invitation of their own. The Crocodiles initially have no interest in mere material wealth, but when the Macaw describes the Frost King's treasure as “a MacGuffin”, they become interested in its narrative power, and resolve to get it before anyone.
Part 5
In the Workshop of Madame Tarsa, the Toymaker herself puts the finishing touches to a handmade toy soldier then decides to ask the Mechanical Fortune Teller about her immediate future. It replies that she will soon get an invitation to go on an adventure, and that she will accept; being unable to see beyond the boundaries of Tarsa's own realm, the Fortune Teller doesn't know whether she will end up finding the treasure or not. Tarsa is non-plussed, but agrees to go to preserve the time-loop of her agreeing to go because the Fortune Teller foresaw her doing so. Just as she's made her decision, the invitation actually arrives, being delivered to her by one of her own marionettes.
Part 6
On their new planet, the surviving Wellsians have begun making themselves at home; case in point, having acquired a large stalk of bioluminescent Red Weed, they are preparing to celebrate Allac-Ur, their kind's most Christmas-esque celebration. After they all gather around the Weed, however, they are interrupted by an interdimensional mailman who delivers a copy of the letter to them. With their effort at a renewed Wellsian Empire being in dire need of funding, they decide to put their festivities on hold and join the quest.
Part 7
In the realm of Automatia, his once-replacement as leader of the Order of the Automata is giving a tour of the dimension to the Ancient One to show him what has changed in the time he's been away. As they pass the main square, where a Christmas tree with a blinking star has been set up, the leader leaves the Ancient One in 21-419's care to go and repair the star, which he has noticed is blinking out of synch with the ambient music. It is then that the robots receive the inevitable letter; with the Ancient One not feeling up to another adventure so soon after coming back from the dead, 21-419 gets his blessing to go instead.
Part 8
In Manik in the Frost King's Realm, the arrival of Alistair Neezley's Void Ship is witnessed by an old man from the local village, whose mind is preoccupied with the imminent Raenn festivities. When Neezley, Tpxszum and Frederick inquire about the old legend of the Frost King's treasure, he gives them a broad direction, pointing at the distant mountains where it is reputedly hidden, but advises them against attempting the climb unprepared. Naturally, they press on anyway, and the old man resumes walking home, thinking no more of the strange travellers — little realising that many more just like them are arriving even then…
Part 9
The Wellsians' stolen Fog Ship materialises near the same snowy ridge. Fearful of the cold, Radluhac ag-Wampyr browbeats Sellane ag-Narra into briefly slithering out, and finds that the snow is indeed much too cold for comfort. However, quick-thinking Skollops ag-Warka solves the issue by proposing that they dismount the Heat Ray from the Ship and use it to tunnel their way under the ice and snow.
Just after they thus disappear from view, a different Fog Ship materialises, bringing Dandy-432 and Pessimist-242, who set out on foot despite Pessimist's continued lack of enthusiasm.
Part 10
21-419 arrives, similarly being discomfited by the cold, but putting on a winter coat to make himself feel better and soldiering on. His arrival is followed by that of the Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles, who consult the Metafictional Macaw again to inquire as to the location of the MacGuffin, and have brought with them a number of devices including a Chekhov's gun, some plot armour and a red herring.
Part 11
While the Green Gorillas fruitlessly spread out across Antarctica, determined to search every corner of the continent until they find the treasure, Madame Tarsa materialises in the correct place in a shower of purple confetti thanks to the power of her cane. Using a pair of “toy binoculars”, she zeroes in on the mountain range and, with her own gut feeling according with her recollection of the Mechanical Fortune Teller's restatement of the letter's contents, she heads there.
Part 12
Things come to a head as the different groups reach the same ledge near the top of the mountain: first Dandy-432 and Pessimist-242, then the Wellsians, then the Interdimensional Tavern-folk, then 21-419 with the Retconning Crocodiles in pursuit, and finally Madame Tarsa. As it becomes clear that they're all after the same prize, the Wellsians, still armed with their Heat Ray, threaten to get rid of all their competition; though they manage to divest Tarsa of her cane, she responds by materialising a pair of swords with her bare hands. Thus, things end in a stand-off with the Wellsian's Heat Ray, Tarsa's cane, a gun Neezley brought along, and, perhaps incongruously, Dandy's umbrella. (Pessimist has his bow and arrows, but refuses to participate.)
Part 13
The standoff is soon broken by the trigger-happy Wellsians but, through a mixture of some adventurers' skill and others' incompetence, everyone soon winds up disarmed, and the fight devolves into a chaotic bare-handed brawl, with even the Metafictional Macaw gettin in on the action (and surprisingly proving a match for Tarsa). 21-419 is able to form a truce with Tpxszum and Frederick, and the three soon begin to sneak away from the fighting, followed by Neezley and then by Dandy. However, before they can get far, Radluhac takes notice and alerts the other brawlers, who stop fighting each other to give chase.
The group meet up again at the mouth of a cave which contains a mysterious stairway, clearly leading up to the treasure. Dandy tries to calm everyone down, but after taking stock of the situation, they simply rush upwards. The Crocodiles drop the red herring halfway up the stairs, where it is found by the waiters and Neezley, who see it as a map claiming that the treasure is on another mountain altogether. However, 21-419 is unaffected by the perception trick and allows the others to see through it. However, even with this unfair advantage and her inability to teleport since losing her cane, Tarsa is still faster than the Crocodiles and is the first to reach a door made of ice at the top of the stairs. The race proves fruitless, however, as none of the adventurers find a way to open the ice-doors until the Wellsians, dead-last, make it up the stairs as well and blast a hole through with their Heat Ray.
Part 14
Behind the doorway is a second flight of stairs, made of ice, which takes the treasure-seekers up to the crater at the top of the mountain, in the centre of which stands a huge ice throne. The figure sat atop it soon reveals himself to be, not the Frost King, but none other than the Cupids' old foe Darius. He explains that after he ran out of money and was kicked out of the Interdimensional Tavern, he was picked up by Doctor Curious and managed to steal his Void Ship, only to accidentally crash it here, where it was all he could do to use a smaller interdimensional transporter Curious kept on his ship to send the invitations through the Interdimensional Post Office; he planned to send them to everyone he wanted revenge on, from Pessimist, whom he considers his most personal archenemy, to the Crocodiles, who escaped from his laboratory so long ago. He also rounded off the list with the Wellsians in whom he had a purely scientific interest, having heard people discussing them at the Tavern after reading The War of the Worlds, and subsequently grown curious.
However, after he reaches the end of his monologue, it becomes clear that he had no particular plan for dealing with his foes after luring them here, and they easily overpower the demented bactrian. The treasure-seekers are left pondering whether the promised treasure even existed, only for Dandy to slip and fall against one of the legs of the huge ice throne; he collapses it, revealing a hidden chamber under the throne, filled with the promised wealth. The fighting is about to resume when Pessmist, warring against his every instinct, delivers a touching speech about Christmas, peace and truces, convincing everyone that there is enough treasure to go around. In the end, everyone selects an appropriate gift from the treasure before going home with no further conflict — and everyone thus ends up reasonably happy, even the Gorillas, who found an old abandoned research facility in Antarctica which proves suitable to being turned into a new secret base. The one exception is of course the Frost King himself, who is somewhat bemused to find his treasure substantially depleted when he returns to his mountain after everybody's departure.
Worldbuilding
Universes
- The various characters are lured to the Frost King's Realm, which is first seen in Part 8.
- Part 1 opens in the Interdimensional Tavern in the Void.
- Part 2 takes place in the Cupid Homeworld and mentions the Prime Earth.
- Part 3 takes place in the Prime Universe outright.
- Part 4 presumably takes place in the Time Sewers, though they are not named as such.
- Part 5 takes place in the Workshop of Madame Tarsa. It is explicitly described as a “realm” in its own right.
- Part 6 takes place on “New Wellsia”, later identified as being located in Dimension Epsilon Five. The Wellsians' origins in the 97th Cosmos are mentioned.
- Part 7 takes place in Automatia.
Other
- Alistair Neezley's latest tall tale is of the time he supposedly “tamed glorks in Tetrayon-Eight – or was it Tetrayon-Nine?”. A glork is therein described as being “like a shrimp, and also like a cat and a rawsuf, but with a sort of cone on its head”.
- SERIAL CODE 000000234 is described as being busy “chop[ping] baruga roots for a delicious baruga salad”.
- The Interdimensional Tavern's annual mash-up party, inspired by Christmas-esque traditions from across the Multiverse, sees it redecorated with “multicolored streamers (…) draped from the archways” while “glowing ztak fish [are] stuck to the walls”. There is also a “large statue of an octopus in the corner (…) decorated with all manner of baubles”, a Szaclowkian half-tree propped up in another corner, and a “lovely” chandelier “draped with crystals and outfitted with multi-colored candles” hanging from the ceiling. Frederick and Tpxszum also discuss the importance of trei-michs and party hats; the former are described as a cross between a lizard, a boot and a candelabra. It is hard to obtain them because they aren't currently “in season”.
- Celebration-665's Festival of Giving preparations include “a large advent calendar located on the Mainland Cloud”.
- The living marionettes Madame Tarsa employs to help her around her workshop are typically dressed in jester-type outfits matching hers, but, to get into the spirit of the season, she's had them change into elf costumes.
- Skollops ag-Warka has outfitted the stolen Fog Ship with a Heat Ray.
- The Salamandyrs are mentioned.
- Neezley attempts to blame his fall on having been “thrown off the back of a snow dragon”.
- Pessimist-242 motivates himself to help Dandy-432 by telling himself that “if they killed Dandy, the Parliament would blame him for not picking up the pieces”.
- Madame Tarsa's cane is established to be what allows her to teleport.
- When wondering how to get through the ice door, Tarsa regrets that she didn't bring her Fire-Breathing Dragon automaton, and the Retconning Crocodiles bemoan their lack of a plot coupon or of “the deorum apparatus unde venerunt”.
Continuity
- The existence of many Christmas-like winter holidays across the Multiverse is compared to the idea that “Halloween in some form can generally be found in most inhabited dimensions”, established in PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine.
- Celebration-665 previously appeared in PROSE: The Cupid Suggestion Box and PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine.
- The Blue Feather's HQ is now located “just off of Philatel-426’s personal stamp wing”, as established at the end of PROSE: Acquaintanceship-982 and the Missing Mail Mystery.
- Dandy and Pessimist cannot find Larrikin-1029, and wonder what he's up to. COMIC: Geometrons' Holiday showed that he had in fact dropped in on the Euclidean Plane during this time-frame and made mischief there.
- The 1986 Skirmish at the Vanityville Supermarket, originally described in PROSE: The Green Gorillas, is mentioned.
- The Early Bird says something about “three eyes” and “hatred”, foreshadowing the events of PROSE: The End of the Homeworld, a much later story.
- The Crocodiles' Early Bird is a reference to the Early-Birds who made a metafictional cameo in COMIC: The Adventures of a Cat, a short-lived webcomic created by Lupan Evezan before The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids.
- The Mechanical Fortune Teller reappears, having debuted in PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker.
- The list of Madame Tarsa's “innovations” are all references to elements of past stories involving the character and her toys:
- “Tarsa's Moving Marionettes” presumably include the Marionette who manned Tarsa's stall in PROSE: Misadventures in the Interdimensional Black Market, and the “Voice-Snatching Ventriloquist’s Dolls” evidently include the ventriloquist's dummy seen in that story.
- The “Clay for the Struggling Artist” was seen and named as such in PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth.
- The “Conjuring Gloves for the Magically Inept” appeared, under that name, in PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine.
- The Plush Thymons, previously referred to as “Thymon Plushies” or “Thymon Plush Toys”, were conceived of at the end of PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth and revealed to have been a great success — they are here called “the best-selling toy of the year” — in PROSE: Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas.
- The New Wellsian Empire are mentioned to have found a single cutting of Red Weed at the Interdimensional Black Market. The Wellsians were previously shown to have access to the Market in PROSE: Misadventures in the Interdimensional Black Market.
- The events of PROSE: The Resurrection of the Wellsians, referred to as “the incident at Morningstar 1”, are mentioned, with names for all of the surviving Wellsians being given. The Wellsians are established to have “acquired” a new planet; the circumstances behind this would be revealed in PROSE: The Grand Multiverse Hotel.
- The Order of the Automata's part in the plot picks up after the events of PROSE: Peace and Quiet, with the Ancient One being shown around the modernised dimension following his resurrection. The four-armed “leader” robot and 21-419 re-appear.
- Dandy-432 quotes the description of Wellsians as “like a vampire crossed with an octopus” from “a video [he and Pessimist] watched from the Department of Documentation”. This is evidently the video Cupid Fact File depicted by VIDEO: The Wellsians.
- The Frost King's Realm would be seen again, complete with references to Raenn and striberu, in PROSE: The Winter Quests.
- Tpxszum recollects that the Cupids got “invaded by ghosts”, referencing the events of PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine, during which the ousted Cupids temporarily took refuge at Tpxszum's own place of work, the Interdimensional Tavern.
- Darius recalls being “fired from his job” and “banished to an endless Void” as occurred in PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries, and then relates how, during his uncomfortable stay at the Tavern, he kept “narrowly missing” his foes the Cupids by a hair's-breadth, a gag which was featured in PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine and PROSE: Peace and Quiet.
- The friendship-starved “snake-headed idiot” who kidnapped Darius is evidently Doctor Curious as introduced in PROSE: The Companions of Doctor Curious.
Behind the scenes
Read online
This story is available online on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.