The Cupid Suggestion Box (short story)
The Cupid Suggestion Box was a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids short story written by Lupan Evezan and illustrated by Aristide Twain. Told entirely through entries in the titular Suggestion Box and the Copper-Colored Council of Elders' answers to them, it introduced multiple new Cupids, including Conquest-932 and Conspiracy-1263.
Contents
Plot
In the Cupid Homeworld, the Copper-Colored Council of Elders, who head the Cupid Parliament, put up a Cupid Suggestion Box where members of the Crew are invited to pitch suggestions for them to discuss.
The first suggestion they get is one by Foreman-964 to authorise the construction of even more warehouses, which is naturally rejected. The next one is from Philatel-426, complaining about renewed attempts by Foreman to build a warehouse over the west wing of the Cupid Post Office and asking them to forbid Foreman from visiting the building unless it's to pick up his mail. When Foreman responds to his first note being ignored by writing another, even more demanding one, the Council ponder whether to ban from Foreman from the Suggestion Box. Next is Juliet-178, asking for the Sisters of Juliet to be allowed back into the Homeworld and citing the precedent of Pseudo-Pessimist being allowed to stay. With her note barely disguising the rule-breaking use she would make of the Sisters' presence, the Council deny the request, commenting that they “only tolerate having Pseudo-Pessimist around because he’s far more tolerable than the real Pessimist”. The next one along is a third, angry note from Foreman, who's received word of his being banned from the Post Office and “suggests” the election of a new Council and Parliament.
After approving Edwin-750's reasonable request for them to authorise a research mission to the Euclidean Plane to investigate reports of a sixth, hitherto-unknown species of Geometron (the crescent-shaped Lunaeoid), it is back to nonsense with a dour note from Pessimist-242 asking them to disband the Crew altogether. Next are Companionship-790 suggesting that the possibility of frequent romanticisation missions to the Interdimensional Black Market be investigated, and Pessimist's Fog Ship requesting vacations every other week for non-Cupid members of the Crew, noting that it has the assent of the other two individuals in that category, Lord Thymon and CS-NA.
The Council then veto a request from Acquaintanceship-982 to let the Blue Feather replace the Scarlet Wings as the Crew's main taskforce, before findingd a mysterious, ominous message from a nonexistent Cupid named “Wicked-6666”. Though uneasy, they write it off as a prank and move on to a trivially-denied request from Dandy-432 to let him invite non-Cupid tailors to the Homeworld in numbers. Next, they find an “anonymous” note backing up Acquaintanceship's pro-Blue-Feather sentiments in such glowing terms that they instantly realise it was written by Acquaintanceship himself and curtly ban him from using the Suggestion Box. They are also displeased upon finding what is apparently not the first unhinged rant from Conspiracy-1263 they've had to deal with, this one alleging that the existence of the Multiverse is a hoax, all parallel universes the Cupids have travelled to were holographic projections, and Lord Thymon is an animatronic fake.
Magnification-236's suggestion to reverse the trend in Clockwork Cherub models getting smaller and smaller with every Mark and try and build Cupids even more enormous than the Mark IVs of old is strongly rejected, with the Councilmember recalling the “incident” in which an ultimately-scrapped “mountain-sized Mark XV prototype” wrecked untold havoc on an entire dimension, which the Councillor writing the note apparently witnessed firsthand. Similarly, they turn down Conquest-932's suggestion to conquer the Interdimensional Tavern by force. Next is an unsigned note (spelled in his usual accent) from Larrikin-1029, apologising for breaking a window by throwing a rock at the Parliament building, which has the Elders tutting that this is not what the Suggestion Box is meant to be used for, before deciding to make Larrikin repair the window himself.
More and more, the inanity of the suggestions (such as Celebration-665 suggesting the invitiation of the Gang of the Green Gorilla to the Homeworld for a party or Avarice-824 arguing that the Crew should start charging its targets for romanticisation and selling merchandise of themselves) sees the Council despairing of the usefulness of the Suggestion Box, a sentiment not helped when Foreman sends in yet another warehouse suggestion, having somehow gotten back the guards posted by the Suggestion Box after his original ban. The final suggestion is from none other than Cupid Councilman #002, proposing that they get rid of the Suggestion Box, something which the Council instantly agree on.
Worldbuilding
Universes
- This story is set in the Cupid Homeworld.
- Edwin-750's suggestion concerns the Euclidean Plane.
- Pessimist-242's note melodramatically asks that he be “set me adrift in the Void” in order to “finally get some peace and quiet”.
- Companionship-790's note concerns the Interdimensional Black Market and also mentions the Interdimensional Tavern. Conquest-932's suggestion also concerns the latter.
Other
- Juliet-178 mentions the fact that the Crew's lawmakers “frown on the creation of Cupids not created by the Creator or the Great Foundries”.
- Edwin-750 claims he is a member of the Department of Zoology.
- The Fooling Fish are mentioned.
Continuity
- Philatel-426 and Foreman-964's feud from PROSE: Acquaintanceship-982 and the Missing Mail Mystery is once again foregrounded, and the fact that the West Wing of the Cupid Post Office now serves as the Blue Feather's headquarters is mentioned.
- Juliet-178 asks for the Sisters of Juliet to be allowed back into the Cupid Homeworld, alluding to their banishment in PROSE: Of Romeos and Juliets, and comments: “just yesterday, the Department of Cinematography screened a new picture, and I wasn’t able to see it – the Sisters certainly would have been useful to have around then”, alluding to her initial motive for creating the first of the Sisters as given in PROSE: The Labors of Juliet. Her note also mentions how Pseudo-Pessimist was “readily accepted into the Blue Feather” as seen in PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries.
- The Euclidean Plane, as previously seen in PROSE: The Euclidean Plane, is mentioned.
- Companionship-790 previously appeared in a minor role in PROSE: The Mad Cupid of the Euclidean Plane as Tracker-764's partner during the original mission to the Euclidean Plane where Tracker went missing. He claims to have “recently learned” about the Interdimensional Black Market, which Tracker visited just before finally returning to the Cupid Homeworld in PROSE: Misadventures in the Interdimensional Black Market; the implication thus seems to be that Tracker sought out his old friend after his return to the Homeworld, and told him about his adventures.
- Companionship mentions that Cupids are forbidden from romanticising anyone at the Interdimensional Tavern, a fact established in PROSE: The Interdimensional Tavern.
- Pessimist's Fog Ship's penchant for sight-seeing, as displayed in its introductory story, PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries, is shown once again.
- The Fog Ship mentions “that creepy floating guy in the Department of Postal Services and that little robot who just got a job at the Department of Transportation and Ship-Building” as the other two non-Clockwork Cherub “associates” of the Crew currently in residence in the Cupid Homeworld, alluding to Lord Thymon's job at the Post Office, first established in COMIC: Whatever Happened to Lord Thymon?, and establishing the fate of CS-NA after his arrival in the Homeworld at the end of the aforementioned PROSE: Misadventures in the Interdimensional Black Market. The Department of Transportation, whose fuller name is given here for the first time, was previously mentioned in PROSE: Marksmanship-522 and the Multi-Dimensional Race and PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries.
- The Fog Ship mentioned having put in a request with the Parliament for non-Cupids in the Crew to get vacations in PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth. The outcome was revealed in PROSE: Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas.
- The events of PROSE: Acquaintanceship-982 and the Missing Mail Mystery and PROSE: The Faction of the Fooling Fish are mentioned in discussion of the Blue Feather's less-than-impressive track record.
- The fact that Mark IV Clockwork Cherubs were gigantic, and the rumour that the upcoming Mark XVIII will be even smaller, were established in COMIC: Scaled-Up Soldier.
- Celebration-665 and his Department of Festivities' over-the-top suggestions to the Cupid Parliament recurred in PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine. Edwin-750's status relative to the Department of Zoology (of which he is curiously cited as a member here) was also clarified in that story, which established that by its point in the timeline Edwin was “on the outs” with the Department in question.
Behind the scenes
Read online
The story can be read for free on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.
