Pseudo-Pessimist
“Pseudo-Pessimist” was a Clockwork Cherub created by a Clockmaking Capybara on behalf of Darius, as a duplicate of Pessimist-242. After Darius's plans were foiled, the poor duplicate, who had a much sunnier disposition than the original, became an actual member of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids and the Blue Feather, alongside the original Pessimist.
Description
Physical appearance
Pseudo-Pessimist's look was a poor imitation of Pessimist-242, based on an imperfect scan. He moved in a stilted, jerky manner. The upper half of his body did not match the proportions of the bottom, and his two wings were mismatched. (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries)
Personality
In contrast to Pessimist-242, Pseudo-Pessimist was cheerful to the point of occasional spontaneous cartwheels, and enthusiastic about whatever others suggested he do. He knew very little about the world, apparently not having been programmed with any other knowledge than basic speech and his (alleged) name. (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries)
Biography
Pseudo-Pessimist was created by a captive Clockmaking Capybara in Research Laboratory 6 based on a scan of Pessimist-242 taken by the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries' analyzation chair. He was a hurried creation, meant to conceal the abduction of Pessimist from the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids. The newly-created duplicate was sent to Whetstone Park, where Pessimist had been abducted. Pessimist's Fog Ship somewhat skeptically allowed the duplicate to drive it back to the Cupid Homeworld, where it “rejoined” the Blue Feather. After most of a day had passed, however, Acquaintanceship-982 finally realised Pseudo-Pessimist's true nature when the duplicate reacted enthusiastically to a new mission, after Dandy-432 had spent the better part of a day trying in vain to convince Acquaintanceship that he was in fact a duplicate. After the Blue Feather rescued the real Pessimist and brought him back to the Homeworld, however, they kept Pseudo-Pessimist on the team, with him enthusiastically setting off with the rest of them on their mission to locate Investigation-464's misplaced jacket — this, even though Pseudo-Pessimist knew nothing about what “jackets” were. (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries)
Pseudo-Pessimist remained “readily accepted” as part of the Crew. During the span of time during which the Cupid Suggestion Box was active, Juliet-178 tried to use him as a precedent to persuade the Copper-Colored Council of Elders to bring the Sisters of Juliet back to the Homeworld. However, the request was denied, in part because the Elders had not meant to set such a far-reaching precedent when they allowed Pseudo-Pessimist to stay, and in part because it was clear from the wording of her note that Juliet intended to resume using the Sisters to get out of doing her chores if she got her wish. (PROSE: The Cupid Suggestion Box)
In December 2019, when Dandy-432 tried to talk the actual Pessimist-242 into participating in a carol-singing quartet, the latter foisted the responsibility on a guileless Pseudo-Pessimist. (PROSE: The Frost King's Treasure) On Christmas Day proper, Dandy organised a dinner party in the Blue Feather's wing of the Department of Postal Services' building. Pseudo-Pessimist attended it with the rest of the Blue Feather, and joined Ally-1243 and Larrikin-1029 in enthusiastically supporting Dandy's suggestion that they play some party games once they were done eating. (PROSE: A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol)
