The Time of the Toymaker (short story)
The Time of the Toymaker was a novel in the The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids series, cowritten by Aristide Twain and Lupan Evezan. It served as the series' 2020 winter special.
As was customary for such a special, many characters and settings from previous installments of the series were thrown together into a Yuletide plot. This included a prominent supporting role for Jenny Everywhere.
Contents
Plot
Chapter 1
Christmas is nigh in the Cupid Homeworld and the non-Clockwork Cherub residents of the Homeworld have seeded the idea of yuletide celebrations in the minds of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids at large. The Cupid Parliament have been persuaded to authorise such celebrations, so long as Santa Claus (an entity Pythagoras-858 believes to be untrustworthy) is not involved.
To achieve this, Pythe devises a plan to get magical toys in bulk directly from the Interdimensional Toymaker without going through Santa Claus at all. After persuading it to comply, Pythe travels to the Workshop of Madame Tarsa aboards the sentient Fog Ship of Pessimist-242, who is the only one in the Homeworld who knows how to get to Tarsa's pocket dimension. After arriving in the giant workshop, however, Pythe finds to his distress that Tarsa herself has been magically frozen into a large cube of ice.
Chapter 2
After some of Madame Tarsa's sentient toys came out of the Toybox in the corner of the Workshop, angrily demanding to know what has happened to their creator, Pythagoras-858 returns to the Cupid Homeworld and enlists his fellow problem-solver Juliet-178 and the fighting expert Arganthone-056, tasking them with trying to find a way to unfreeze Tarsa. Pythe then departs for a journey across dimensions to try and find the culprit.
Arriving in the Workshop, Juliet and Arganthone observe the ice cube for a while and discuss possible solutions. They agree that normal fire certainly wouldn't suffice, but after Juliet remembers Pythe saying (during his adventures trying to defeat Mandragora-257) that magic tends to still follow the spirit of the laws of physics to some extent, they agree that “abnormal” heat should be able to melt this abnormal ice, if it is sufficiently powerful. They land on the idea of using a Wellsian Heat Ray and thus fly to New Wellsia.
Chapter 3
Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 land on an ashen hilltop on the devastated planet Thrash, with a valley between them and the pyramid where the Wellsians appear to have taken up residence. The two briefly reflect over whether they've seen anything like this before, and come to an agreement that this is never going to be a diplomatic mission and they must get a hold of a Heat Ray either by stealth or by force.
Inside the Pyramid, Sympus ag-Forgos, Viceroy of the New Wellsian Empire, is panicking in expectation of the upcoming celebrations of Allac-Ur, the Wellsians' equivalent of Christmas: they too had placed an order with Madame Tarsa (for a gift to their leader, Radluhac ag-Wampyr) which she has failed to complete for reasons that are, to them, mysterious. Another Wellsian, Baron Skollops ag-Warka, offers to fly the Wellsians' Fog Ship to the Interdimensional Black Market to inquire after the whereabouts of the Toymaker.
After they agree on this plan and Skollops departs, one of the Wellsians' Goblin slaves runs in to warn Sympus about two Cupids — Juliet and Arganthone — having been spotted flying towards the Wellsian fortress. Although a flying threat would normally be within Skollops's purview, Sympus, keen on Radluhac not noticing Skollops's absence, decides to handle the situation himself, using nothing less than heavy artillery.
Chapter 4
Jenny Everywhere is walking through a snowy street in Victorian London, enjoying the Dickensian atmosphere to get into the Christmas spirit, when she sees a Fog Ship crash in front of her. She wonders if its occupant is her friend Pythe, but it turns out to be Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056, who explain that their Ship was shot down by the Wellsians.
After the two Cupids explain the purpose of their mission, Jenny opines that Madame Tarsa probably had some safeguard in place to resurrect herself in case anything happened ot her, which might be worth looking into. With the Fog Ship unable to take off again, she agrees to shift the two of them back to the Workshop of Madame Tarsa and join them on their investigation beyond that.
Chapter 5
Moments after Jenny, Juliet, Arganthone and Pythe have left, Pythagoras-858 (in a human disguise) turns a corner into the same street of Victorian London, which turns out to be none other than 1895 Baker Street. He makes his way to 221B Baker Street and is greeted by Mrs Hudson. She is initially reluctant to let him in, but after he persuades her to simply pass his name along to Sherlock Holmes and gives it as “Professor James R. Moriarty”, Holmes naturally lets him in. Pythe, though keeping his true nature as an android a secret, reveals to Holmes that he is a time-traveller by pointing out an error in one of his monographs which he has yet to publish, and whose only draft currently resides on Holmes's own desk. Baffled but intrigued, Holmes agrees to hear him out.
Chapter 6
Back in the Workshop of Madame Tarsa, Arganthone-056 attempts to get the Mechanical Fortune Teller to tell them whether or not Madame Tarsa had any failsafes in place. However, after it transpires that the Fortune Teller is programmed to never give a straight answer to a question, an irritated Arganthone stomps off to join their companions, who have already made their way to the Madame Tarsa's Toybox.
After catching up with them through the initial stage of the Labyrinth inside, Arganthone rejoins Juliet-178 and Jenny Everywhere on the outskirts of Wild West Town, where they are greeted by the Frog Mayor of the town. The Mayor is initially mistrustful of them due to the bad behaviour of the two previous Cupid visitors of the labyrinth, Pessimist-242 and Larrikin-1029, but after he is reassured that not all Cupids are as irksome as that duo, he advises them to seek out the oldest toy in the Labyrinth, currently residing in the Christmas Toyland, as she might know some of Tarsa's secrets, even if the Mayor does not.
Chapter 7
Having been brought up to speed and ferried to the Workshop of Madame Tarsa by Pythagoras-858, Holmes is able to deduce that Tarsa's aggressor must have had some means of teleporting in and out of the room, and observes that they stole Tarsa's cane, which is neither in her hand nor anywhere to be found in the Workshop. Pythe comes up with a slightly alternative hypothesis: that Tarsa was attacked by one of her own creations (who thus didn't need any teleporting abilities to get in), who subsequently escaped using the powers of Tarsa's cane.
Chapter 8
Meanwhile, inside the Toybox, Jenny Everywhere, Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 reach the Christmas Toyland. After passing through a simple wooden door, they are greeted by the strange and festive sights of the place. Interrogating a living puppet Elf, they are told to ask the conductor of a nearby Toy Train to take them to “the old dollhouse at the top of the hill”, where the Oldest Toy in the Labyrinth allegedly lives. They buy tickets at a discount from the jack-in-the-box ticket-seller and enjoy the scenic train ride, during which they look upon various strange Christmassy landmarks including the Star Atop the Tree. Finally, at the end of the train tracks, they reach the life-sized “dollhouse”.
Chapter 9
Pythagoras-858 and Sherlock Holmes land near Castle Frankenstein in a new universe. Holmes is initially disbelieving, thinking of Baron Frankenstein as simply a fictional character, and, when he is introduced to Holmes, the Baron has a symmetrical reaction, but after Pythe provides the due explanations about the nature of the Multiverse, the two eccentric geniuses turn out to get along well. After a spot of conversation on the nature of Frankenstein's experiments, he gives them his guesses (based on his experiences with his monster) as to what Madame Tarsa's rebellious toy might do next. Building from the Baron's insight, Pythe drags Holmes off to the Interdimensional Black Market.
Chapter 10
Received by the Oldest Toy in the Labyrinth, a worn teddy bear, Jenny Everywhere, Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 explain Madame Tarsa's predicament. The teddy bear confirms that Tarsa entrusted her with some of her secrets, and, taking out a seemingly blank book from a shelf, she uses a secret sigil to make one page become legible. The page contains a rhyming riddle which speaks of some “key” which must be retrieved from a “distant star” and could be used to reanimate Tarsa. With the teddy bear unable to shed any further light on the mysterious writing, the three travellers agree to try and see if they can find out anything more about this key in the archives of other, learned civilisations. They select as their first target the “forbidden wing of the Euclidean Plane's Pentagon”, into which Arganthone broke once before, “for a Scarlet Wings mission back in ’84”.
Chapter 11
Pythagoras-858 and Sherlock Holmes arrive in the Interdimensional Black Market to find it strangely empty. The only thing they come across is a dramatically-convenient tumbleweed which turns out to itself be one of Madame Tarsa's creations, “Tarsa’s Terrifically-Well-Timed Tumbleweed, For All Your Dereliction-Conveying Needs, (…) supposed to be sold in a special holiday package with the Convenient Chirping Crickets”.
The Tumbleweed points them to where everybody's gone: they have gathered to watch a fight that's broken out in the centre of the Market between the Queen of the Black Market herself and her Wraiths on one side, and a mysterious magical clown and his endless army of smaller duplicates of himself on the other. Realising that the head Clown is wielding Madame Tarsa's cane, Holmes walks calmly into the commotion, using his skills at baritsu to dodge the clumsy attacks of the smaller clowns and Wraiths, and manages to trip the Clown. However, he uses the cane to teleport before any information can be extracted from him. The panting Queen confesses that she knows nothing about her attacker either.
Chapter 12
Arriving in the snowy Euclidean Plane, the trio of Jenny Everywhere, Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 head for the Geometron Citadel. However, as soon as they get close, patrolling Triangries and Octasers chase them off, believing this to be yet another attempted invasion of their world from the Crew. They return holding a white flag (or, rather, a white leaf), calling for a Christmas truce and bringing a captive Ambagesque as a present and token of goodwill. While one of the guards goes to ask their superiors, the visitors and the guards begin to engage in a good-natured snowball fight. When the emissary of the Geometron Council return, they grudgingly allow the Cupids to search the Geometrons' records. Unfortunately, after much searching, it turns out the only sentence in the Geometrons' “file” on Tarsa is “The Cupids may have information about her”. Deciding they might as well take this at face value, however, the three resolve to head to the Cupid Homeworld and ask Bibliophile-962 whether the Cupid Archives might hold relevant data.
Chapter 13
The Queen of the Black Market invites Pythagoras-858 and Sherlock Holmes to have lunch with her. As they eat, they discuss what the Queen and the Cupids know of Madame Tarsa and their guesses about the Clown. Pythe notes that he believes there is only one Clown who multiplied himself using the power of the cane, as self-duplication is an ability which Tarsa displayed in the past; he hypothesises that the Cane is an Artefact of Power. However, the conversation turns out to have been overheard by Skollops ag-Warka, who bursts into the tent where the three have been eating, demanding to learn more about such Artefacts.
Chapter 14
In the Cupid Homeworld, at the Cupid Post Office, Lord Thymon discusses the toys he is looking forward to receiving (unaware of the troubles with Madame Tarsa) with Philatel-426. Soon, they receive the visit of Jenny Everywhere, Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056, here to introduce Jenny to Thymon as they promised to, while they were in the Homeworld. After doing so (with the two extradimensional entities getting along surprisingly well), they go find Bibliophile-962 at the Cupid Archives. He does not know of any in-depth documentation about Madame Tarsa other than a few short Fact Files based on the Cupids' recent experiences with her, but agrees to help them look for such materials in the depths of the Cupid Archives.
This proves a more dangerous operation than expected, as the entrance to the Archives is guarded by a Mechanical Sphinx (originally built by the Creator to protect the Archives from Chronon Fleas). After expending a lot of effort getting past the Sphinx without waking it up, they realise the Sphinx is actually awake, but let them through as a Christmas present — on the condition that they get it an actual gift once Tarsa is thawed out, which they awkwardly promise. They don't find anything directly relevent, but do find something that reminds Bibliophile of his adventures with Tracker-764 involving the Consistency Imperium. With Bibliophile remembering that, at its height, the Imperium had “a grand library [which] must have contained the histories of thousands of lost civilizations”, they decide to go back to the planet Subcinctus to see if any of those records survived.
Chapter 15
Skollops ag-Warka reveals that he has used Wellsians' native psychic ability to take control of the Queen of the Black Market's army of Wraiths, and demand to be given an Artefact of Power, such as the Whistle of the Witch Varganax. However, Wendy VII, the Queen's girlfriend, come to visit her, manages to sneak up behind the Wellsian without him or his Wraiths realising, thanks to the psychic dampener hairclip she is wearing. The Wellsian is forced to instead negotiate for his freedom and the Whistle, and agrees to give them the current location of the Clown in exchange for the Whistle to take back to Earl Radluhac.
Chapter 16
Jenny Everywhere, Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 arrive in the ruins of the Consistency Palatium, on the last remains of what was once the planet Subcinctus. It initially appears deserted, but they soon find their way to the city that the survivors of the Consistency Imperium are building as a refuge for individuals who lost their homes to the Rifts, New Subcinctus.
Identifying themselves as friends of Tracker-764, Marksmanship-522 and Bibliophile-962, they easily get themselves taken to the city's visionary leader (and former head of the Consistency Imperium), Vertolin. After the appropriate greetings, he takes them to what remains of the archives. Unfortunately, though they do have some information on Madame Tarsa, it teaches them nothing that they don't already know. Jenny suggests that they head to the Interdimensional Tavern next to simply ask around for relevant information.
Chapter 17
Having received the coordinates from Skollops ag-Warka, Pythe and Holmes, joined by Wendy, end up in Darkborough, the gloomy capital city of the planet Shenanig in the Jynx Dimension, which is under the rule of an evil sorcerer called Emperor Steer. It is night, past the Imperial curfew; the streets are foggy and deserted. Spotting a lone top-hat-wearing figure in the fog, Holmes tackles him to the ground — but it turns out to be Doctor Curious, an eccentric mad scientist with whom the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids have had dealings in the past, rather than the Clown. The Doctor does however state that he met the Clown an hour earlier, heading towards the Imperial Castle.
Chapter 18
At the Interdimensional Tavern, a listless Jenny, Juliet and Arganthone fail to find out any new information about Tarsa. They end up returning to the rhyming riddle, and Juliet has a flash of inspiration. She realises that the star mentioned is not a literal star, but the Star Atop the Tree they saw in the Christmas Toyland, inside which the “key” is surely hidden. The three rush to their repaired Fog Ship, headed back for Madame Tarsa's Toybox.
Chapter 19
Inside the Imperial Castle, the Chamberlain, Barnabus Bartleby, reflects on his career, which consisted of thirty-six fairly comfortable years under the old Dark Lord Nefarious, followed by a few months of hell frantically trying to rein in the new Emperor, Sebastian Steer. It seems that this is all over, for a new Dark Lord has taken over the throne, trapping Steer in a broom closet, bound with magically unbreakable ropes: the Clown Emperor. Bartleby is, of course, locked in there with him, but still finds it a comfort to see Steer in a position of weakness for the first time in months.
Worldbuilding
Jenny
- This story features the version of Jenny who once travelled with Pythagoras-858.
- She notes that she could, with an effort of concentration, shift herself into a universe where she was already on precisely the kind of adventure she'd be in the mood for, but “doesn't like to force these things”.
- Jenny loves A Christmas Carol.
- She believes that no incarnation of her has visited the Christmas Toyland in Madame Tarsa's Toybox before her.
- She is aware of the existence of a Geometron Jenny native to the Euclidean Plane, who apparently lives in the woods. She is a Spheroid.
Universes
- The story begins in the Cupid Homeworld.
- Pythagoras-858 travels from it to the Workshop of Madame Tarsa.
- Juliet-178 and Arganthone-056 visit the universe of the planet Thrash before delving into Madame Tarsa's Toybox.
- They then head to the Euclidean Plane, back to the Homeworld, from there to the universe formerly home to the planet Subcinctus and the Consistency Palatium, then to the Interdimensional Tavern, and back to the Toybox.
- Pythagoras-858 picks up Sherlock Holmes in the Prime Universe, takes him to the Workshop, then to Frankenstein's World, to the Interdimensional Black Market, and finally to the Jynx Dimension, home to the planet Shenanig.
Other
- According to Pythagoras-858's research, Santa Claus is an interdimensional parasite who spreads to new universes every year, first planting the idea of himself in the local culture, then gaining a physical existence sustained by the belief of children.
- The Devastation of Alexas was an event in which the Mark 1 Clockwork Cherubs of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids at a time when the Mark 2s like Juliet-178 were considered too young and inexperienced to go on such dangerous missions.
- Red Weed is a plant from the Wellsians' home planet.
- Aside from one Void Ship they stole from the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, the Wellsians use Flying Machines as vehicles.
- The Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Future visited the Cupid Homeworld the year prior to the events of the story.
- Locales in the Christmas Toyland include the Giftbox Mountains, the Snapdragon Lake and Wrapping Point.
Continuity
- Thrash is seen, having been colonised by the Wellsians following the events of PROSE: The Grand Multiverse Hotel. The Crystal of Thrash is mentioned and its powers expounded upon.
- Also in reference to PROSE: The Grand Multiverse Hotel, Jenny Everywhere reminisces in Chapter 4 about a conversation she had with Pythagoras-858 “en route to Hilbert's”, and in Chapter 14, Bibliophile-962 reveals that he is currently writing up a chronicle of Jenny's adventures at Hilbert's for the Cupid Archives.
- Jenny mentions “the Lords of Hell” in an apparent reference to PROSE: Jenny Everywhere and the Lord of Hell.
- Juliet-178 relays to Vertolin that Tracker-764 is now training to become a Scarlet Wings operative, a fact first mentioned in PROSE: Rifts Crisis Officially Over!.
Behind the scenes
Read online
This story is available online on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.
