The Resurrection of the Wellsians (short story)
The Resurrection of the Wellsians was a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids short story written and illustrated by Aristide Twain. Told entirely through entries in the titular Suggestion Box and the Copper-Colored Council of Elders' answers to them, it introduced multiple new Cupids, including Conquest-932 and Conspiracy-1263.
Contents
Plot
By 1897, in the 97th Cosmos, the sole native species of the local version of Mars, the Wellsians, have accidentally rendered their planet uninhabitable over a period of centuries by foolishly draining its ozone layer to consume the ozone for “recreational purposes”, allowing “scorching cosmic rays” to parch the canals dry. Determining that the nearby Earth holds what they need, they shoot themselves and their surviving heads of blood cattle at the planet by means of Really Bloody Big Cannons.
There, realising that they can't move on their own powers due to the heavy gravity, they fashion Tripod war machines (“in a move that only makes sense in the knowledge that, improbable as it may seem, the Wellsians had never discovered the wheel”) and start hunting humans down, both to clear the area for colonisation and to replenish their supply of blood. Before long, another one of their scientific oversights proves ill-fated as human germs prove lethal to them. A few of the “more robust” Wellsians survive the initial epidemic long enough to adapt a Tripod into a makeshift spacecraft and flee the contaminated planet. Because the exodus movement accidentally forgot “the cranky old Emperor” at take-off and the survivors are not keen to explain themselves to him, they elect to head to Venus instead of doubling back towards Mars.
The spacecraft crashes on Venus, embedding itself dozens of feet deep into the sandy Venusian ground. Only a few Wellsians survive the crash, and they decide to place themselves in hibernation before they run out of food. Not much happens over the course of the following nine decades, save that more layers of dust pile up on top of the crash-site. Eventually, visitors from another universe, the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, come by coincidence to the very same site, having decided to build a pressurised base there simply for the symbolism of the planet's name. Feeling their presence, the Wellsians below “turn, uneasy” in their “deathlike sleep”, but do not wake yet.
In 2019, the base, Morningstar 1, has become a cause for concern back in the Cupid Homeworld; reports from Governor-105 have become more and more infrequent, with the last few indicating that he had sent unauthorised Cupid missions to the 97th Cosmos's Earth without checking with the appropriate authorities in the Homeworld first, and the last message anyone received from Morningstar 1 being a garbled S.O.S. received on the Psychic Receptors instead of a proper report of any kind. After debating the matter in Parliament, the Cupid Council do what they usually do: they send the Department of Problem-Solving.
Pythagoras-858, Juliet-178, Carter-1277 and Edwin-750 thus fly there in the Department Fog Ship, a journey lasting only two minutes, but during which Edwin-750 still manages to fall asleep as a side-effect of his recent ill-fated decision to create a psychic link between himself and a sloth. Walking to the base, they knock on the huge golden doors and, after going through an airlock (which prompts Pythe to briefly wonder why the Morningstar Cupids, who don't need to breathe, have bothered with an airlock-sealed inner atmosphere at all), are greeted in the main hall by the deputy governor. He turns out to be Juliet-178's brother (that is, one of the two robots who were on either side of her on the production line): Dactylopius-177. Though he is tactful in his wordings, Dactylopius confirms that Governor-105 has become increasingly erratic and tyrannical, and accidentally provides further evidence that the Morningstar Cupids have become extremely isolated from goings-on in the Cupid Homeworld when he displays a complete lack of awareness of the Sisters of Juliet incident. He also tells them of certain recent digging operations, initially assuming that it's what they've come to inspect.
The digging in question is ongoing in the lower levels of the base. It was originally begun to dig a new personal swimming pool for the Governor, but the two Mark III Cupids handling the operation, Mandragora-257 and Digger-291, seem to be up to something sinister, and Digger runs to Mandragora to warn him about the visitors so that they can “hide all [their] stuff”. Mandragora, however, replies that he will do no such things, as the Homeworlders seeing the “stuff” is all part of the plan. He then tells Digger to leave him alone as he returns to “the work”.
Meanwhile, Dactylopius leads the visitors to the Governor's “throne room”, with Pythe being worried at the sight of multiple paintings adorning the walls which depict the Governor as some kind of glorious military conqueror. When they finally reach him, the Governor is listlessly slouching on a huge scarlet cushion and drinking a glass of wine. He takes an instant dislike to the visitors when they decline to have a drink with him, and actually orders Dactylopius to drink with him instead. He is unrepentant and unconcerned when they deliver the Cupid Parliament's reprimands to him; when they start asking about the digging operation, he tells them that something was “found” there, a spaceship of some kind, and advises them to go talk to Mandragora. Before they leave off to do just that, he whispers something in Dactylopius's ear without Pythe hearing the substance of it, though the detective does notice the suspicious act itself.
Dactylopius leads them down to the strangely old-fashioned door of the underground area where the digging operation is taking place, relaying the Governor's whispered message to Mandragora through the small barred window before the foreboding, golden-eyed Cupid agrees to let the party in. The room is just as eerie as its keeper, a fire-lit cellar with a huge chasm in its centre which seems also be used by Mandragora as a laboratory of alchemy, with “mortars, phials, alembics”, and “shelves of pots filled with mysterious substances” filling up the space and a a pungent smell of incense and sulfur in the air. Mandragora greets Pythe with considerable interest, having heard of Pythe's own recent occult prowesses, and the two engage in conversation until Pythe drops the polite façade, revealing that he has read about Mandragora's past, which involved causing the deaths of multiple Cupids as part of his reckless alchemical experiments. He then pulls the rug out from under Mandragora, revealing that he was only talking with him to keep him distracted while Carter snuck into the chasm to investigate unhindered. Carter confirms that he's found something, and asks the other to come down and see, finding it hard to put into words.
The hole turns out to open into the half-molten remains of some kind of metal craft. On the floor are six strange masses of crumpled, bone-white flesh, surrounded by pentagrams of candles. Edwin quickly recognises them as six hibernating Wellsians, who were thought extinct. Mandragora is visibly upset, but claims that the only reason he wanted to conceal this is that his great project to awaken the ancient creatures has not been completed yet. This enrages Juliet, who claims she was there when the Cupid Fact File on the Wellsians was filmed and is certain that the resurrected Wellsians will become a blight on the universe, berating Mandragora for not having left them where he found them. Mandragora maintains that in their dormant state, they pose no threat, and are simply an interesting suggest of study (whether alchemical or archeological), but Pythe demonstrates that they are not as dead as all that when he points to a seventh, now worrying empty candle-circle.
Forcibly ejected from the laboratory by Digger, the Problem-Solvers return to Governor's throne room, with Dactylopius leaving them to get to some paperwork the Governor assigned him. They find the Governor posing for yet another portrait, being busily painted by Paintbrush-122. Governor dismisses Paintbrush, immediately destroying the painting after taking one dismissive look at it. The Problem-Solvers try to “warn” the Governor about the Wellsians, but the tyrant quickly makes it clear that he already knew and believe the Wellsians will be under his own control. The others fail to convince him either that the Wellsians are likely uncontrollable or that Mandragora won't obey the Governor anyway, and he shoos them out after mentioning yet another piece of information which had previously eluded the Problem-Solvers: the existence of an underground rebellion against the Governor within the Cupids of the base.
When the Problem-Solvers confront Dactylopius about this, he easily admits to being part of the “rebellion” in question, which includes all the Cupids in the base save for Governor, Mandragora, Digger, and, most importantly, Governor's six loyal, heavily-armed, brutish guards. He pitifully explains that he doesn't think he'll ever find the courage to truly start a coup, and the covert rebellion is just a way to keep up morale, asking the Problem-Solvers to just go home and forget about their plight, promising to make Governor send more reports to the Parliament so that the Problem-Solvers may avoid getting reprimanded for failing to rectify the problem they were sent to solve. However, Pythe icily refuses, offended at the suggestion, and the Problem-Solvers all insist on staying and helping, despite Dactylopius pleading with his sister to get out while she still can lest she “get hurt”.
Meanwhile, Mandragora and Digger complete their Great Work, resurrecting their first Wellsian by sprinkling a metallic powder, mixed from ingredients of symbolic significance, upon it. As it awakes, it speaks to them telepathically and seemingly agrees to obey Mandragora in thanks for him bringing it back to life, though it also demands to be fed blood as soon as possible. Elsewhere, the Problem-Solvers break into the base's only communications room to try and communicate what they've learned to the Homeworld, with Juliet getting the drop on Goliath-329. However, they find that it is empty save for the Mark XI guard Dactylopius mentioned: Governor has gone so far as to destroy all communications equipment in pursuit of his plans.
Puzzled at how anyone could have sent the S.O.S. to the Homeworld that brought them here in the first place, the Problem-Solvers are trying to get more answers out of the cowering Mark XI, but are interrupted by the appearance of Mandragora, flanked by the Governor and a Wellsian holding a peculiar weapon in one of its tentacles. The Governor victoriously announces that the “six” Wellsians have now been revived for him by Mandragora, and have begun repairing some of their heat weapons. Mandragora joins in the gloating, explaining that they intend to attack the Earth and then use its resources to create an armada of Fog Ships with which to take over the entire Multiverse.
Their shared power-trip is interrupted by the intervention of Dactylopius, armed with a heat weapon of his own and flanked by the missing Wellsian, whom Pythe now realises they had spirited away and revived on their own thanks to the complicity of Digger, who reveals that he's been on the rebellion's side — and much more articulate than he acted — all along. Juliet tries to defuse the standoff and get her brother to believe that the Wellsian can't be trusted, but Mandragora orders his Wellsian to shoot the Governor before anyone can react. Dactylopius briefly, optimistically believes that Mandragora has in fact been on the rebellion's side too without letting anyone know, though he still deplores the killing, but Mandragora quickly makes clear that he's “on no one's side but [his] own”.
Dactylopius threatens him with his own heat weapon before he can order his Wellsian to shoot Dactylopius, and then tries to order his Wellsian to destroy Mandragora's Wellsian. However, the two Wellsians, after staring at one another for a tense moment, burst out laughing and drop all pretense of servitude, grabbing Dactylopius's weapon from his hands and explaining that they always intended to manipulate the Cupids for their own ends to set out to conquer the Multiverse for themselves and rebuild the old Martian Empire. Mandragora pleads with them to acknowledge their debt to him, but they laugh in his face and train all three heat weapons on him. He begins to say that there is something they “don't understand” and that he “has got” something, but, heedless, they shoot him, sparking a huge conflagration which knocks everyone out.
Pythagoras comes to in the smoking ruins of Morningstar 1, which has been totally destroyed. After getting his bearings, he uses the resonance between his liver crystals and his team's to locate them, digging a sleeping Edwin out of the debris, then finding Carter surveying the damage, and finally locating Juliet, who is comforting her brother. The reunited Problem-Solvers find the rest of the Cupids, guards and rebels alike, trying their best to make the base's three Fog Ships run; Digger explains that the Governor had locked them so that they could only be used with his permission. Pythe reassures them that they'll figure it out, as the Governor “can't have done anything that clever”, and leads his team back towards where they left their Fog Ship.
As they walk, he goes over his best guesses as to what happened. The explosion, he suggests, was caused by the Wellsians' heat rays igniting some explosive substance the alchemist was carrying on his person. He is nevertheless unconvinced that Mandragora is dead, noting that he himself was barely injured despite standing very close to the blast, showing it may not have been strong enough to destroy a Clockwork Cherub even at ground zero, and further speculating that either way, Mandragora, with all his experiments on resurrection magic, surely had contingencies in place to escape death in case his body was destroyed in an accident like this.
The final piece slots into place when they get back to where they parked the Fog Ship and find it gone. It was the Wellsians who sent the telepathic message to the Homeworld, precisely to get a new, unlocked Fog Ship to steal for themselves after they discovered that the Governor had locked the base's Ships. The two Wellsians at the confrontation are probably dead — but the five others took their chance while everyone was distracted, and are now at large in the Multiverse…
Worldbuilding
Universes
- The story principally concerns itself with the 97th Cosmos, which paid host to a version of War of the Worlds in 1897 as previously depicted in VIDEO: The Wellsians. It is mentioned that it is also known as Earth-HG66 to the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries, and by “an infinite number of other designations by an infinite number of other multiversal scholars”. Its Earth is inhabited by only one sapient species, and Dragons are the stuff of mere “fairy stories”.
- Events on the Cupid Homeworld are also related.
- The 1579th Dimension is mentioned.
Other
- Edwin-750 has stringy, electric-blue hair.
- The temperature on Venus is 300°C, and the atmospheric pressure is higher than it is on Earth.
- Clockwork Cherubs perceive heat through “internal thermometers” which they can switch off if necessary. Their linguistic skills are based in syntaxic modules
- In the Prime Universe, Venus is inhabited, prompting Juliet-178 to muse that the planet is unworthy of being named for the Great Goddess and “looks more like a Vulcan”, alluding to the deity. Carter-1277 speculates that the 97th Cosmos's Venus might once have been home to Venusians who subsequently became extinct.
- The Council of Frogs “turned a blind eye” to the construction of the Morningstar 1 Base because Venus was uninhabited.
- Among other anecdotes Juliet-178 relates to playfully embarrass her brother is one which ends with: “…and that’s when I told him the vulture was still glued to his ankle”.
- With his Renaissance-inflected style of dress, Mandragora-257 is noted to look a little like Nostradamus-066.
- Mandragora was once part of the Department of Alchemy. He was banished to Venus when one of his experiments caused a warehouse to explode, killing several Cupid workers placed under his responsibility. This event was documented in Incident Report B045D.
- Carter-1277 mentions “[his] august namesake” who discovered the tomb of King Tutenkhamen.
- The Department of Supplies and the Department of Artistry are mentioned.
- Guards loyal to Governor include “five Mark IVs” including “three non-shrunken ones” (one of whom is Goliath-329), as well as one Mark XI.
- Mandragora implores the Wellsians “for the love of Hermes”.
- Pythe compares Venus to Hell.
Continuity
- The events of PROSE: The Labors of Juliet and PROSE: Of Romeos and Juliets are mentioned, with Carter-1277 mentioning how there are now “1618 female Clockwork Cherubs” and Juliet-178 correcting that there are now only 1576 and that they're “stuck on an asteroid in the 1579th Dimension”. The “Sisters of Juliet” moniker is used, and the event is referred to as Incident C179B, marching the latter story being framed as “Incident Report C179B”. Pythagoras-858 mentions that the event was documented in The Cupid Courier.
- The members of the Department of Problem-Solving awkwardly decline to drink any wine, referencing their alterations to their liver crystals mentioned in PROSE: Lord Thymon and the Department of Problem-Solving, which come into play after the climax. The story's events are also referenced, with Mandragora having heard about the “binding of the demon Thymon”.
- Edwin-750 mentions his familiarity with Cupid Fact File #057 which Juliet-178 says is “one of the movie ones”, referencing PROSE: The Wellsians and VIDEO: The Wellsians.
- The history of the gigantic Mark IVs first mentioned in COMIC: Scaled-Up Soldier are mentioned, with it being clarified that some of them, though not all, were later shrunken down to a more normal Cupid size.
- This story retroactively explains the presence of a Wellsian at the Interdimensional Black Market in PROSE: Misadventures in the Interdimensional Black Market, with PROSE: The Grand Multiverse Hotel later making the link explicit and elaborating on the chronological discrepancy.
Behind the scenes
Read online
The story can be read for free on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.
