Lord Thymon and the Department of Problem-Solving (short story)
Lord Thymon and the Department of Problem-Solving was a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids short story written and illustrated by Aristide Twain. Although preceded by varyingly-narrative Cupid Fact Files, it was the first conventional prose story in the series, and also notable for introducing multiple characters who would become recurring presences in the series, including Pythagoras-858, Juliet-178 and Lord Thymon.
Contents
Plot
Pythagoras-858, Prefect of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids' Department of Problem-Solving, sits in his office mulls over the latest impossible task which his Department has been saddled with performing: dealing with Lord Thymon, an eldritch temporal entity from the Void Between Worlds who's been inconveniencing Cupid Fog Ships. He finally makes up his mind to get started, and heads to Lab 5.
There he finds that his fellow Problem-Solvers have filled the entire room with clocks. Valerius-1497 explains that their hope is that such a large concentration of time-pieces will “use up” all the time energy in the room when they summon Thymon, leaving him frozen. Pythe approves of the plan, thinking it wacky enough to actually work on a conceptual entity like Thymon. They retrieve a small Reality Bomb from Storage and start to detonate it, counting on Thymon detecting it and showing up to stop them. The demon indeed materialises, proving to be quite eldritch-looking indeed, notwithstanding a silly hat.
Although indeed frozen in place once he arrives, Thymon high-handedly refuses to negotiate with the Cupids, saying that he has eternity ahead of him and can simply wait in the lab until they get tired of his presence, give in, and send him back. However, Juliet-178 obviates the issue by hitting him with a Cupid Arrow, causing Thymon to immediately mellow out and profess love for and loyalty to the Crew.
Worldbuilding
Universes
- The story takes place in the Cupid Homeworld. It is explicitly mentioned that the Creator created it: “if the Creator’s garage grew too cramped? Override the boundaries of physical reality and create a whole new universe”.
Other
- Pythagoras-858 has enjoyed “a long career at the Cupid Intelligence Institute”. He became the Prefect of the Department of Problem-Solving, and keeps a pair of reinforced forbidium handcuffs on his desk as a memento of how he got the job.
- The Celestial Foam Network, the Cupid Archives, the Cupid Parliament, Cupid Storage, and the Departments of Chronology, Taxes, Gender Studies, Wizardry and Alchemy are mentioned.
- Five scientific laboratories, including Lab 5, were placed at the Department of Problem-Solving's disposal by the Supreme Quaestor. Lab 5 is the largest of the five.
- The Problem-Solvers are described, collectively, as “top-of-the-line scientists”.
- Clockwork Cherubs have Anxiety Springs and liver crystals. As part of an experiment with invisibility devices, the members of the Department of Problem-Solving had their livers retuned to “vibrate in synchrony”, such that “the crystalline organs allowed any one of his Problem-Solvers to feel the presence of his confederates”. They ended up maintaining the modifications thereafter, which was technically against the rules.
- Mark XIII Cherubs are noted for their “vibrant golden coat” and “stiff limbs”. They are “hardly ten years old”.
- Carter attempts to recollect a quotation from “a Sherlock Holmes, in some universe or other” — by all appearances “When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”.
- The Lord Thymon assignment was originally given to the Department of Impossible Things before they gave up and transferred it to the Problem-Solvers.
- Edwin-750 has “blue glass eyes”.
- Edwin is eager to move on to the next case on the Department of Problem-Solving's agenda, the “Tasmanian Tiger case”.
- The Chronologists of the Department of Chronology are based in the Continuity Tower.
- Chronitons and artron waves are associated with time.
Continuity
- The hints about the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids' early history mentioned in this story were later expanded upon in PROSE: The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids.
- Lord Thymon's subsequent fate was depicted in COMIC: Whatever Happened to Lord Thymon?, which transitioned into Thymon's ongoing role as a recurring character in the series.
- The Department of Problem-Solving's modified liver crystals were seen in action in PROSE: The Resurrection of the Wellsians, which also directly referenced the events of this story with Mandragora-257 having heard of Pythagoras-858's part in “binding the demon Thymon”.
- The circumstances of Thymon's arrival in the Homeworld were again summarised in PROSE: Magic Trick, which also continued the gag of the Department of Impossible Things' rivalry with the Department of Problem-Solving.
- Anxiety Springs would be mentioned again in PROSE: A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol.
- The events of Lord Thymon's romanticisation were referenced in PROSE: The Metafictional Meddler, where the Cupids were reluctant to romanticise another unexpected interdimensional intruder for fear that this would cause him to stick around as Thymon did. The story also referenced Juliet's membership of the Department of Problem-Solving in relation to her having more common sense than the average Cupid.
Behind the scenes
Read online
The story can be read on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.
