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Pessimist's Fog Ship, more properly known as Fog Ship P-1 — for Prototype 1 —, (PROSE: Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas) and once referred to as “ol’Foggy” by Larrikin-1029, (PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine) was the Fog Ship of Pessimist-242. Almost uniquely, it was sentient and had a will of its own as well as the power of speech.
History
Origins
An experimental sentient Fog Ship was constructed by Sigma-063 of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids (PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker) for the Department of Technological Advancement (PROSE: The Case Against Conspiracy) working on conjunction with the Department of Transportation. The intent was that it would be the first of a whole range of intelligent Fog Ships, able to “assist Cupids with their missions” and recommend destinations themselves. However, the prototype was disappointing insofar as it displayed a tendency to wander off to see the sights with little care for its pilot; (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries) it was genuinely better at navigating the Void than any normal Fog Ship, but it was temperamental, and could only be coaxed into taking its passengers needed to with much persuading and the occasional bribe. (PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker)
The prototype Ship was assigned to Pessimist-242 as his personal Void Ship because it was assumed that any Cupid who received it would be unhappy with it, but as Pessimist could be relied upon to be unhappy anyway, this made no difference in his case. (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries)
Abduction of Pessimist
On one of many routine romanticisation missions to Whetstone Park in the Prime Universe, the Fog Ship wandered off to check out a “combination greenhouse-theater-diner-aquarium” that had recently opened on the east side of the city. It spent the night there, but did not find it as interesting as it had hoped. When it returned to Whetstone Park, it did not find the real Pessimist-242 but Pseudo-Pessimist, an unconvincing duplicate sent as a decoy by the Drove of the Database-Compiling Dromedaries after they abducted the real Pessimist. Though much unconvinced, the Fog Ship took Pseudo-Pessimist back to the Cupid Homeworld. After the Blue Feather realised he was an impostor, the Fog Ship used the link between its positronic brain and Pessimist to track down his location, at the Dromedaries' Research Laboratory 6. There, it was briefly highjacked by Darius, who threatened it with a gun to get it to drive him to the Homeworld. However, it resolved the situation by rematerialising right in front of Lord Thymon, allowing Thymon to handle the business of banishing Darius into the Void. The Fog Ship then hopped back to the Prime Universe and picked up the Blue Feather, bringing them back to the Homeworld for good. (PROSE: Pessimist and the Dromedaries) The Ship was subsequently fitted with a small, retractable laser cannon to defend itself in case of a further highjacking attempt. (PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth) Its heroics were recorded in the Book of Evil's entry on Darius. (PROSE: The Book of Evil)
Later events
When Dandy-432 and Larrikin-1029 set out to try and bring a lost old man back to his home universe, they borrowed Pessimist's Fog Ship, on the grounds that it “ran better” than Larrikin's own Ship (which was in poor condition due to Larrikin crashing it all the time). Pessimist-242 was mildly reluctant, but the Fog Ship itself, appreciating the compliment, gladly agreed. (PROSE: The Mad Cupid of the Euclidean Plane)
At some point prior to Pessimist-242 and Larrikin-1029's adventure in the Workshop of Madame Tarsa, (PROSE: The Cupid Suggestion Box) the Copper-Colored Council of Elders put up the Cupid Suggestion Box. Among others, (PROSE: The Cupid Suggestion Box) Pessimist's Fog Ship put in a request with the Parliament for them to officially grant vacation time to the increasing number of non-Clockwork Cherub members of the Crew, such as the sentient Fog Ship itself, in the form of having every other week off. (PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth, The Cupid Suggestion Box) As the proposal would only affect two other beings, Lord Thymon and CS-NA (both of whom the Ship had consulted beforehand), the Council agreed to put it to a vote in the Cupid Parliament. (PROSE: The Cupid Suggestion Box) A more bounded version of it, giving the three non-Cupids monthly days off, ultimately passed. Interviewed for The Cupid Courier #1034, the Fog Ship declared itself fairly pleased with this outcome. (PROSE: Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas)
In the Toymaker's Labyrinth
After being displeased with Pessimist-242 and Larrikin-1029, the Ship refused to take them to their assigned destination of Dimension 8696-2537, and instead transported them to a random location which turned out to be the Workshop of Madame Tarsa. There, the Ship became embroiled in Larrikin and Pessimist's subsequent adventures, getting “shrunk down, [losing its] Dimensional Warp Drive, and [having] to fight a sentient lump of clay as well as a giant sword-lady”, (PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker, The Toymaker's Labyrinth) the latter being Madame Tarsa herself. The Fog Ship's presence proved decisive, with it being responsible for defeating the Clay Thing in question and later using its laser to shoot out one of Tarsa's eyes. After regenerating her eyes, Tarsa acknowledged that the Cupids and Ship had fought their way out of her Labyrinth fair and square, returning the dimensional warp drive and restoring the Fog Ship to its true size. The Ship then took the two Cupids back to the Homeworld. (PROSE: The Toymaker's Labyrinth)
Halloween 2019
On Halloween 2019, when the broken Spirit Realm Gateway allowed the Great Ghost's legion into the Cupid Homeworld, Pessimist's Fog Ship was possessed by a spirit alongside CS-NA. The ghosts eventually surrendered their vessels during the Copper-Colored Cupids and Madame Tarsa's final showdown against the Great Ghost in an abandoned Prime Universe theatre, shortly before they were defeated. (PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine)
Abducted by Doctor Curious
At some point, while out in the Multiverse aboard his Fog Ship, Pessimist-242 was kidnapped by Doctor Curious, a mad scientist from the Jynx Dimension who wanted a friend and had set his heart on a Copper-Colored Cupid companion. Naturally, he quickly found Pessimist to be dreary company. Instead of giving up on his dream, however, he decided to find a dead Clockwork Cherub and rewire and revive him into his perfect companion, Frankenstein-style. Using the Fog Ship, he travelled the dimensions to acquire one while keeping Pessimist prisoner in his Castle. Pessimist then bore witness to 53 failed attempts over a number of weeks before Curious was finally ready to give life to his Monster, with Pessimist being reluctantly given the “honour” of throwing the master-switch, getting a nasty electric shock in the procss. Just before the experiment, two other Cupids, Tom-176 and John-181, chanced upon the Castle by coincidence. After Curious, pleased with the success of his Monster, tried to kill them so that he could use their parts to create a second one, the two Cupids managed to free themselves with the Monster's help; they also freed Pessimist and recovered his Fog Ship, allowing the two to be reunited and escape together, also taking the Monster along. (PROSE: The Companions of Doctor Curious)
Christmas 2020
Nevertheless, when Pythagoras-858 needed to find his way to the Workshop the next year, he managed to persuade the Ship to take him there by convincing it that it would be its direct path to getting a Christmas present of its own. (PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker)