The Case Against Conspiracy (short story)

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Rifts Crisis Finally Over! was a short story written by Lupan Evezan and illustrated by Aristide Twain. Part of The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, it served as an epilogue to that series' “Rifts” story arc. Consequently, it featured a further guest appearance by Jenny Everywhere in the section tying back to the events of PROSE: The Grand Multiverse Hotel.

Contents

Plot

Around the Christmas period, after becoming convinced that A Christmas Carol was written by apes, Conspiracy-1263 decides to prove it by replicating the experiment. Stealing a Fog Ship, he gathers large amounts of apes and monkeys, as well as typewriters, on the uninhabited planet Reichenbach IV. As well as setting a large contingent onto the task of writing A Christmas Carol from scratch, he also assigns a division to replicating the works of William Shakespeare. The former fail utterly, but curiously, the result of the latter experiment matches the text of a play indeed published in the First Folio of 1623, a comedy named The Christmas Cacophony.

This is because, after the work is complete, Conspiracy travels to the Interdimensional Tavern, where he meets the Multi-Coloured Medic, an eccentric interdimensional traveller known to the Crew for often hanging around in the 17th century of various Prime-adjacent universes. They get to talking, bonding over being decried as reckless and mad by their home civilisations. The Medic reveals that she has access to a time machine from her home universe, intended for transtemporal tourism. This machine normally doesn't allow the occupants to impact history, but she's been tinkering with hers to push those limits. He gives her the manuscript which he insists perfectly mimicks Shakespeare's style and the Medic dashes off.

Eventually, back in the Homeworld, Conspiracy is interrogated by Judicator-337 to ascertain quite what happened. The Department of Festivities' Prefect, Celebration-665, intercedes on Conspiracy's behalf and he gets off without punishment for his mischief, since it was all done in good faith. The Department of Zoology take charge of Conspiracy's “writers”. Meanwhile, the Department of Documentation, and a Recorder Cupid in particular, are tasked with writing up an Incident Report on the affair; the transcript of Conspiracy's interview with Judicator contains blanked out portions, however, which the Department of Discipline refuses to explain satisfactorily. It is clear that the Medic, at Conspiracy's request, changed the Prime Universe's history to have the gibberish written by his monkeys published in the First Folio.

A hidden addendum to the Incident Report explains that the Department of Discipline is well-aware of this, but have chosen to mysteriously redact those parts of the document, and classify the Incident Report as if it were about some high-profile threat, in order to allow the Department of Literature their fun trying to make their own theories about The Christmas Cacophony.

Worldbuilding

Jenny Anywhere

Universes

Other

Continuity

Behind the scenes

Read online

This story is available online on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.