A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas (short story)

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A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas was a short story written by Callum Phillpott. The fifth in Phillpott's Jenny Over-There: The Nine-Two-Five Universe series, it was the series' first Christmas special.

Contents

Plot

It's Christmas Eve. Jenny Over-There is driving home to have dinner with her family, having already been offered a predictable gift of a stick of dynamite by Dynamite Thor. When she reaches the house, however, she is surprised and dismayed to find not only her parents Mr and Mrs Over-There, but also her cousin, Marietta “Mary” Over-There, who is acting aloof and glitzy as usual, smoking a cigarette indoors and wearing a red dress with a black coat on top.

Meanwhile, somewhere Northern, the Man in Grey visits the tower where a very eldritch Santa Claus resides, one who apparently governs the assignment of hundreds of “Santaforms” across the rest of the Multiverse. He explains that he is here to renew the alliance between him and the Great Higher-Ups, but also asks for — and obtains — a favour for the Multidimensional Finders Service itself: the use of a Santaform to film a last-minute Christmas ad for the service.

Dynamite Thor, for his part, has flown to America to buy a special gift at the Dibbsy Store. Though viewing the rest of the waiting crowd as “enemies”, he is fortunately prevented from throwing explosives at them by the fact that he gave all of his sticks of dynamite away to people for whom he had forgotten to buy any conventional gifts. Finally, the doors of the shop open and Thor does his best to squeeze his way in along with the rest of the crowd.

Back at the Over-There family home, the family has sat down at the dinner table, and Mr and Mrs Over-There try to make light conversation, but things remain tense, and as soon as Marietta tries to socialise with her, Jenny is reminded of why they parted on bad terms ten years ago, and, when the parents leave to give them some space, explicitly brings it up: having gotten wrapped up in occultism, a younger Marietta killed Jenny's cat Grober as a sacrifice to Nyarlathotep. Mary says that she's sorry, but seems to make light of it, casually trying to explain to Jenny that she no longer worships Nyarlathotep in the first place and is now in a group called the Order of the Red Key; this proves too much for Jenny, who storms upstairs.

The Dibbsy Store, for its part, has turned into a “veritable warzone” as customers battle for rare items, with a surprising number of notable individuals including Bart Hill (out of costume), the Beastmaster (riding a wild bear), Jenny Everywhere, Jenny Nowhere, Jenny Somewhere, Laura Drake and Alias the Dragon. Amidst the chaos, however, Thor keeps his eyes on his prize: the Dibbsy Toaster. When a nondescript man grabs it at the last moment before he can get to it, Thor briefly hesitates, then lunges at him.

Meanwhile, Marietta goes up to Jenny's room, finding her listlessly watching TV, and tries to apologise better, reminding Jenny of their childhood friendship. She cryptically suggests that her current occult activities were transformed by the guilt she felt over what she did to Jenny, and then says that she has at last found a way to “make it up” to her: she then hands Jenny her Christmas gift, a magic coin which allows safe passage into the Underworld on Charon's boat, promising to help Jenny journey into the Underworld to find the cat and bring him back to life. Won over, Jenny hugs her and forgives her. The conversation is cut short when Marietta spots a news broadcast about the “small war” happening at the Dibbsy Store, and asks Jenny to use her powers to give her its exact location.

Just as Peter Thor leaves with his prize, having managed to reason himself out of feeling bad about not paying for it, a magical red fissure appears next to the now-flaming store — and Lady Satan steps through.

Back at the Over-There home, Jenny happens to catch the Man in Grey's crummy Christmas ad on the television when she gets a call from Thor, who asks for Glenda's current address so he can give her the hard-won Mammon Mouse toaster. After answering him, she hangs up and is startled to see the follow-up news broadcast about the Dibbsy Store fire, which explains that the fire was magically put out by the mysterious occult superheroine Lady Satan — whom Jenny easily recognises as Marietta wearing a domino mask. She is only mildly surprised by this, however, or by the fact that Marietta is already back at the Christmas table by the time Jenny goes back downstairs — act which she no longer resents.

Worldbuilding

Universes

Other

  • Jenny Over-There's family home is “nested in the middle of one of the more urban areas in Wales”.
  • The Man in Grey “hasn't had hair for years”.
  • He believes himself to be immortal, but “never really tested that”.
  • Santa Claus is “the bearer of unearthly gifts, the Burzee King, the slayer of the Awgwas, the son of nymphs and the ruler of elves”.
  • Lady Satan habitually fights “cultists”.
  • Dynamite Thor thinks of the Dibbsy Toaster as his “Holy Grail”.
  • An ad which runs every year sees “the Kooba Cola bus” coming by with Santa Claus's face on it. On the news, Jenny hears that Kooba Cola are thinking of buying yet another company and is annoyed by this notion, especially as Kooba Kola also recently bought Kablamazon.
  • Jenny and Marietta reminisce about their friendship before Grober and the falling-out: “playing tag, talking about boys in a way that made it very clear that neither of us felt any attraction towards them despite feigning it due to societal norms” and watching “scary movies” such as Little Shop of Horrors, “[not] even the good one” but the one “with the bad paper mâché plant”.
  • The world is supposed to end if Azathoth ever wakes up. Nyarlathotep misled the younger Marietta into believing this fact applied to Yog-Sothoth, and told her that the purpose of the ritual was to summon him.
  • Marietta was fourteen when she killed Grober “ten years ago”, suggesting she is now twenty-four.

Continuity

Behind the scenes

Read online

A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas was released on Archive Of Our Own, where it is still available.