Father Christmas (short story)

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Father Christmas was a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids “Fact File” short story written and illustrated by Aristide Twain.

Contents

Plot

As documented by Cupid Fact File #1225, the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids has always been wary of non-physical threats such as living ideas, which might corrupt the Crew's own nature and purpose. They initially believed that Christmas might be one such idea, but, in December 2019, the Cupid Parliament authorises its celebration for the first time, on the faith of the Department of Phenomena's determination that despite the phrase “the spirit of Christmas”, Christmas is not actually a sentient entity.

Only after celebrations are underway do they realise that the Christmas “meme”, powerful and widespread as it is, plays host to a variety of other conceptual forces which are not necessarily as passive as the holiday. Foremost among them is the figure of Santa Claus, and, observing the regularity with which “Father Christmas entities” seem to arise even in universes where their existence makes no logical sense, the Cupids become frightened of the possibility that their exposure to Christmas might cause a Cupid Homeworld version of Father Christmas to come into existence.

Moreover, they fear that this may result in the entire concept of the Crew being warmed into something Christmas-themed, with the newly-formed Santa Claus ruling over a Crew of servile elf-like Cupids who do his biddings dimension-crossing flying sleighs. The end of the Fact File, though it admits that it is probably too late to convince the Cupid populace to give up on the holiday (because, if nothing else, the newly-formed Department of Christmas would object), advises all who read it to be on the lookout for any Homeworlder in the process of morphing into a Father Christmas entity.

The Fact File ends with an “important addendum” inciting the reader to disregard the warnings as meaningless nonsense which has undeservedly “wormed its way” into the Archives, probably at the behest of Conspiracy-1263. The note is signed by a certain Claus-025, who reaffirms that if there is indeed such a being as a Santa Claus, the Cupids ought to be nothing but pleasant and docile in their dealings with him.

Worldbuilding

Universes

Other

Continuity

Behind the scenes

Read online

The story can be read on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.