The Cupid Courier

Logo of The Cupid Courier. (PROSE: Rifts Crisis Officially Over!)

The Cupid Courier's tagline boasted that it was “the Number One Newspaper in the Cupid Homeworld”.

It was a newspaper internal to the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, put out by its Department of Journalism under the direction of Journalist-649. A typical issue of the Courier included a headline article describing recent major events of relevance to the Crew, more miscellaneous news, advertisements, and a few “features” such as Nostradamus-066's latest prophecies or hotel reviews. (PROSE: New Warehouse To Be Constructed In The Homeworld, Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas, Rifts Crisis Officially Over!)

Issue #1020's headline feature was the Department of Construction's official announcement that they were gearing up to construct their largest warehouse yet. Also on the front page were the announcement of a seminar from Lord Thymon and one of Nostradamus's prophecies. Page 2 was supposed to include newly-discovered information about the Szaclowk in continuation of a small paragraph on Page 1, but, as a result of being the second half of something related to the Szaclowk, this second page ceased to exist. (PROSE: New Warehouse To Be Constructed In The Homeworld)

Issue #1034's headline documented the latest shenanigans of Conspiracy-1263, who had courted trouble with the Gang of the Green Gorilla on the Prime Earth and had to be rescued from a carnival where he was being offered as a prize. Other features included the announcement of a new Parliament ruling regarding vacation days for non-Cupid residents, Nostradamus's latest prophecy, and ruminations on who was ordering all the Plush Thymons finding their way to the Homeworld of late. Page 2 was given over to a variety of advertisements. (PROSE: Conspiracy-1263 Publicly Accuses the Gang of the Green Gorillas)

At some point prior to the Rabbit Invasion, Pessimist-242 had happened to see illustrations of stereotypical Prime Universe magicians in the Courier. (PROSE: Magic Trick)

Issue #1056's headline was The Cupid Parliament Destroyed?, reporting, a very short time after the event, on the destruction of the Cupid Parliament by a laughably-thinly-disguised Conquest-932. Page 2 included a transcript of Pythagoras-858's interrogation of the “suspect”, as well as a wanted notice for a Green Gorilla and an “Other News” feature which briefly recounted incidents that took place in the aftermath of the Rabbit Invasion. Bibliophile-962's concerning reports about strange new entries appearing in the Book of Evil was also included, and the last item was the promised revelation of “the Szaclowk's secret”, with the sentence naturally being cut off halfway through. (PROSE: The Cupid Parliament Destroyed?)

Issue #1236 had as its headline the recent conclusion of the Rifts Crisis. It also included a contribution by Jenny Everywhere, a review of her recent experience at Hilbert's Interdimensional Hotel alongside Pythagoras-858. (PROSE: Rifts Crisis Officially Over!)

Conspiracy-1263 often pestered the Department of Journalism to get them to publish his outlandish theories in the Courier. (PROSE: The Case Against Conspiracy)