Father Christmas (short story)

Father Christmas
Contents
Villain(s)	Claus-025
Featuring	Prime Universe Santa Claus (mentioned) The Hogfather (implied mention) Lord Thymon (mentioned) Aphrodite (mentioned) St. Valentine (mentioned) Cupid (mentioned) The Frost King (mentioned) Philatel-426 (mentioned) Charles Dickens (indirectly mentioned) Conspiracy-1263 (mentioned)
Setting	Cupid Archives, Cupid Homeworld
Technical Specs
Length	1,354 words
Series	The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids
Crew
Writer(s)	Aristide Twain
Background
Dates	December 26th, 2019
Original link	[1]
The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids official reading order
← Previous	A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol
Next →	The Metafictional Meddler
The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids release order
← Previous	A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol
Next →	The Metafictional Meddler
Christmas stories
← Previous	A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol
Next →	The Metafictional Meddler

Father Christmas was a Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids “Fact File” short story written and illustrated by Aristide Twain.

Contents

Plot

As documented by Cupid Fact File #1225, the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids has always been wary of non-physical threats such as living ideas, which might corrupt the Crew's own nature and purpose. They initially believed that Christmas might be one such idea, but, in December 2019, the Cupid Parliament authorises its celebration for the first time, on the faith of the Department of Phenomena's determination that despite the phrase “the spirit of Christmas”, Christmas is not actually a sentient entity.

Only after celebrations are underway do they realise that the Christmas “meme”, powerful and widespread as it is, plays host to a variety of other conceptual forces which are not necessarily as passive as the holiday. Foremost among them is the figure of Santa Claus, and, observing the regularity with which “Father Christmas entities” seem to arise even in universes where their existence makes no logical sense, the Cupids become frightened of the possibility that their exposure to Christmas might cause a Cupid Homeworld version of Father Christmas to come into existence.

Moreover, they fear that this may result in the entire concept of the Crew being warmed into something Christmas-themed, with the newly-formed Santa Claus ruling over a Crew of servile elf-like Cupids who do his biddings dimension-crossing flying sleighs. The end of the Fact File, though it admits that it is probably too late to convince the Cupid populace to give up on the holiday (because, if nothing else, the newly-formed Department of Christmas would object), advises all who read it to be on the lookout for any Homeworlder in the process of morphing into a Father Christmas entity.

The Fact File ends with an “important addendum” inciting the reader to disregard the warnings as meaningless nonsense which has undeservedly “wormed its way” into the Archives, probably at the behest of Conspiracy-1263. The note is signed by a certain Claus-025, who reaffirms that if there is indeed such a being as a Santa Claus, the Cupids ought to be nothing but pleasant and docile in their dealings with him.

Worldbuilding

Universes

• The story takes place in the Cupid Homeworld. The Homeworld is noted to possess conceptual shields, and emphasis is placed on the Copper-Colored Cupids' efforts to keep its coordinates a secret on “the multiversal criminal scene”.
• Reference is made to the “Santa Claus or Kris Kringle of the Prime Universe" (who is said to be “benign”).

Other

• Known aliases of Santa Claus across the Multiverse include “Kris Kringle”, “Saint Nick”, “Saint Nicholas”, a redacted name, Sinterklaas, “Fred”, and a partially redacted name implied to be “the Hogfather of Hogswatch”.
• The Fog Ships of the Celestial Foam Network contain Conceptual Engines, which primarily serve to purge a Copper-Colored Cupid reentering the Cupid Homeworld of any preternatural interference with their core conceptual make-up which might have occurred during their mission.
• The archetypal concept of Santa Claus is of a jolly, white-bearded fat man in red clothes who “resides at the pole (or, failing that, in some other significant and stereotypically-wintery location)”, and, every Christmas, brings gifts “manufactured in his toyshop by a population of elves or lutins” to all well-behaved children in the world among his sleigh pulled by flying reindeer.
• Because Santa Claus is “a conceptual creature of love in his own way, and not always a completely physical personage”, the Copper-Colored Cupids believe “the average Father Christmas entity” to be “quite immune to Cupid Love Potion”.

Continuity

• It is noted that “very few narrative parasites” are able to “contaminate” the Cupid Homeworld, among them “[REDACTED], white bunny-rabbits, and Father Christmas”. The first item may be interpreted as the Collective of the Retconning Crocodiles; the middle item is a reference to the Rabbit Invasion which constituted the main plot of PROSE: Magic Trick, with the story directly being linked on the Fact File's official upload.
• The Fog Ships' conceptual engines (here capitalised for the first time) were first mentioned in PROSE: The Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, with PROSE: The Labors of Juliet also containing a nonspecific reference to “the engine” of Juliet-178's Ship.
• The Cupids are stated to have learned about the Multiversal prevalence of various Christmas-equivalents as part of “the Frost King's Treasure incident”, i.e. the events of PROSE: The Frost King's Treasure.
• The Department of Phenomena was previously mentioned in PROSE: The Szaclowk & the Halfworld.
• It is noted that a lot of conceptual forces associated with Christmas were able to unexpectedly enter the Cupid Homeworld following the Cupid Parliament allowing the celebration of the holiday for the first time, and that these included beings who took “cranky postmaster Philatel-426” on “a Dickensian journey of self-discovery”. This alludes to and contextualises the events of PROSE: A Copper-Colored Christmas Carol.
• Pythagoras-858 would summarise the main thrust of this Fact File in PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker, which revealed the eventual fate of Claus-025, also confirming the obvious implication that he was a Father Christmas entity who had newly come into existence in the Homeworld.

Behind the scenes

Read online

The story can be read on the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website.