Our Strange and Wonderful House (novel)

WARNING: This page is unfinished. It does not completely adhere to our standards for articles, for example (for a story page) by having an incomplete cast list or (for an in-universe page) not citing its sources properly.

Our Strange and Wonderful House
Contents
Featuring	The Architect Federico Ruiz Elshanor Krully (mentioned) Pip (mentioned) Alastair Unnamed brother (mentioned) Ana Rennik Grímnir (mentioned) Unnamed guard Unnamed Imp The Mad Gardener Grigori President of Zimbabwe (mentioned)
Setting	The Strange and Wonderful House Hawk Manor, unnamed universe
Technical Specs
Length	60 chapters 32 appendices
Crew
Writer(s)	Welcome! & Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 18-I: Zxvasdf Chapter 5: Elsha Hawk Appendix 5-I: ALRO613 Appendix 5-II: R3mix Chapters 6, 12, 13, Appendices 13-I, 13-IV, 13-V, 13-VI: Jay Dee Chapter 8: H. S. Wift Chapters 9, 10: Robert Quick Chapters 11, Appendix 13-II: THX 0477 Appendix 13-III, Chapter 18: Jeanne Morningstar Chapter 14: Sir Bic Chapters 15, 16, 17: Wednesday
Background
Dates	May 27th, 2011 - September 10th, 2014
Original link	[1] [2]

Our Strange and Wonderful House was an experimental collaborative prose work created on Ficly by a large number of writers, starting from a premise and format established by Zxvasdf. Although not conceived of as a novel at its inception, but was termed one by the foreword of the 2022 ebook edition of it, edited by Aristide Twain. Although she was not the main character, Jenny Everywhere, in several incarnations, recurred several times through the book.

Instead of any singular narrative, Our Strange and Wonderful House was made up of a series of vignettes describing, or centering on, various areas of the titular sentient, impossibly vast, shifting House. Many, though by no means all, of its Chapters and Appendices were written in the second person, putting the reader in the shoes of an otherwise-unseen visitor exploring the house. We have elected not to give character pages to these figures, so as to avoid having to make judgment calls about the degree to which the "Yous" of various individual parts should be considered the same continuous character.

Contents

Plot

Welcome!

An individual welcomes a group of writers who have gathered to participate in a “challenge”. They explain that what they are actually to do is to participate in the creation of a Strange and Wonderful House, whose blueprints, infinite in proportions, are currently blank.

Chapter 1: The Courtyard

After stepping through a portal of some sort, an individual finds themself in the Courtyard of the House, facing the gates of the estate proper, which appear to be made of a glowing golden metal, but are actually made of transparent tubing containing a multitude of luminous insects milling about, fulfilling unknown tasks. The gates open of their own accord and the visitor steps through as the portal sings behind them.

Chapter 2: The Anteroom

The visitor reaches the Anteroom, lit by a chandelier on which small groups of fairies dance. A pillar of cold light, burning fairy dust, occupies the centre of the circular room, a portal that will transport whoever steps into it to the room of their choice. The visitor steps into the light.

Chapter 3: The Pleasure Pad of Federico Ruiz

The Pleasure Pad of Federico Ruiz, the decadent domed leisure area overseen by Federico Ruiz is described.

Chapter 4: The Catamaran Loos of Oceania

The Catamaran Loos of Oceania, the House's bathroom, which contain an entire ocean, with the actual plumbing in the centre of a boat sailing the quiet nightly sea, are described.

Chapter 5: The Library

The lady Elshanor returns to Hawk Manor after a lengthy absence. Walking through the incredibly dusty corridors, she makes her way to Hawk Manor's Library, where she finds a strange, shimmering portal which appears to lead to another library, that of a mysterious infinite house.

Appendix 5-I: The Other Side

In Hawk Manor's library, Alastair is skulking in a dark corner, bemoaning Elshanor's absence. He suddenly sees the portal shimmer; though he gets his knife up, he quickly sees that the woman stepping through is in fact Elshanor. However, almost as quickly, he realises it is not quite the Elshanor he knew. The two stare at each other in shock.

Appendix 5-II: The Bathroom (of the Library)

Elshanor steps into the Library of the Strange and Wonderful House, immediately noticing that the floorboards are as creaky as the doors of Hawk Manor's library. She walks through the Library to find a metallic door curiously ill-fitting for the decor of the room, which turns out to be the gleaming library bathroom, impossibly spotless, in stark contrast to the dust of the library. She notices a paperback copy of Les Misérables and debates taking it back to its proper place, but her musings are interrupted by another creaking sound in the room behind her.

Chapter 6: The Theater Room

The Theater Room is described. It is a haunting place where the unwary visitor may lose their freedom and sanity as they find themselves drawn into the dance of the inhuman “players” wearing human faces, with them soon performing for the players' amusement instead of the players for the visitor's — and in more permanent terms, the players are “always looking for fresh blood”.

Chapter 7: The Coat Room

The Coat Room is described. Its appearance changes from “warm and cloying” to “large and drafty” as needed, with the staff changing from Dwarves to Titans to match. Although it is possible not to call on the services of these changeable valets, the Coat Room is apparently so huge that many become lost for weeks on end, forced to survive off scraps; “on many occasions bleached bones of owners are found mere yards from their coats”.

Chapter 8: The Closet in the Sitting Room

The narration promises that inside the Closet in the Sitting Room is a portal to Narnia – and indeed that one could get to Narnia from any closet. However, the Closet in the Sitting Room is designed as a test to this faith: although it does actually lead to Narnia too, this is not immediately apparent because there is a further doorway disguised as the back wall of the closet.

Chapter 9: Hallway – PI3

An unnamed “I”, visiting the House for what seems to be the first time, but whose brother was familiar (or possibly contributed to) the blueprints, makes their way through Hallway - P13 Served by a lift – not an elevator, just a vertical shaft with a very forceful updraft – this organically curved hallway, whose floor glows a soft blue, provides access to the Observatory through an “elegant door of dark wood”. The visitor reaches this door and gently taps it.

Chapter 10: The Observatory

After the complex locking system opens the door, the visitor enters the Observatory, a high-tech circular room with a reclining chair in the centre. The visitor is greeted by the A.I. overseeing the Observatory, who introduces herself as “’Ana”. She explains that the Observatory allows residents of the House to observe “space and time”. When the visitor asks what the chair with its joysticks is for, she very casually replies that it is used “to control the lasers, of course”.

Chapter 11: Every House Needs One

Rennik, apparently attending some kind of party at the House, visits the men's room, which turns out to have rather curious gravity, such that men amuse themselves by trying to aim for the urinals while standing upside-down on the ceiling. Another of the men asks Rennik where and when the party he comes from is happening, leading to some confusion between impossible rooms as Rennik and his interlocutor mix up the 3rd floor basement with the 2nd floor attic past the tennis courts.

Chapter 12: The Dining Room

The Dining Room of the House is described. It adapts itself, with the décor, entertainment, and cuisine all being appropriate for the diner’s expectations. That nobody else might perceive what you do is not a problem.

Chapter 13: The Guardroom

A visitor enters the Guardroom, where a number of heavily-armed men watch over the locked, reinforced door that leads through to the Conservatory. One guard asks them if they want to go through, telling them “Better you than me” when they acquiesce.

Appendix 13-I: The Conservatory

The visitor glances through the bars of the door to the Conservatory and is unsettled by what they see, but stick to their plan of visiting it. The guardsman outfits them with full armour similar to the guards', complete with a metal rake for a weapon, before sending them cautiously onwards.

Appendix 13-II: View From a Jungle

The visitor enters the eerie jungle. Strewn about are panes of glass; through some of them beams of sunlight come to nourish the plant-life, while others are windows into other areas of the house. For example, one is the party in the “roughly-finished basement”, another is an elegant and studious woman strolling with melancholy through a “tattered” library, and “a fantastical bacchanal led by a grinning imp”. The visitor tries to refocus, making their best efforts to stay on the path, but suddenly a cackling voice finished a train of thought for them with the word “Mad!”. Without hesitation, the visitor identifies this as the voice of the gardener.

Appendix 13-III: Back to the Garden

The visitor is being chased through the beautiful garden by the Mad Gardener, who wields a machete even as he sings in a “deep but strangely serene voice”. As they run, the visitor also catches a glimpse of the Gardener's reflection in one of the panes of glass — not an old man with a machete, but a a creature with a great many wings bearing a flaming sword.

Appendix 13-IV: The Madman

Still chased by the Mad Gardener, the visitor takes a wrong turn and, running out of path, ends up reluctantly running out of the marked path and into the foliage. There, they soon reach a dead end, their way cut off by a wall of glass panels which soon reflect a vision of horror: the Mad Gardener's true angelic form morphing into a demonic one. The Gardener manages to plant the machete in the chest of the visitor's body armour, though it holds and they are not injured. Keeping them on the ground, the Gardener yanks out the machete and prepares to behead the visitor.

Appendix 13-V: The Saviour

The Mad Gardener's machete blow is blocked unexpected by a steel spade held by another man who wears body armour under a long coat, “camouflaged with paints in green and brown and various twigs and leaves”. As they circle each other, dueling like swordsmen with their respective unlikely weapon, the Mad Gardener seems to recognise the other, whom he calls Grigori. The other angel replies that the Gardener has “succumbed to the madness”, and asks him to please surrender now rather than make this harder than it has to be. Naturally, the Gardener refuses, tackling Grigori with an animalistic shriek and attempting to stab him.

Appendix 13-VI: The Gardener

Avoiding the Mad Gardener's blows, Grigori beheads him before saying a few words over his body. Introducing himself as a Gardener himself, he then tells the baffled visitor to hurry away with him, lest they fall pray to other entities who might be attracted by the scent of blood.

Chapter 14: I Am An Athenaeum

In verse rather than prose, an Athenaeum describes its own nature and function in the first person — where a library is a place for reading, an athenaeum is a place of social learning. The athenaeum of the House is implied to connect to all others, in the fashion of Pratchett’s L-Space.

Chapter 15: The Stairwell

The Staircase, a spiral staircase starting near the front door and going upwards, is described. These stairs, built when the President of Zimbabwe complained about the lack of stairs and opened on “the first day of Spring”, pass through “an infinite number of portals, spanning the width and depth of the house”. The supports are in the shape of animal limbs, and each stone step represents a ley line. Every four steps is a doorway. The doors go up to the front door of the Attic, but they also go beyond it — and at the very top, there is a golden gate surrounded by “dry ice tended to by the very highest of the goblins”. It is closed, and a sign hanging from the padlock states: “If you have made it here, then you only deserve to fall, for a life wasted is not a life lived in Good.”.

16: The Throne Room

A vast space with fifty thrones, it would seem to accommodate more monarchs than would tolerate each other’s close presence. Nonetheless, it is not unused and Lady Elshanor holds court here upon a silver and blue seat. Her throne allows her to judge those who come before her and remove those who trouble her.

17: Portal to Pandemonium

Rohinder, judged in the previous chapter, falls through a portal to fall and fall and fall… At least the scenery is nice.

18: The Jenny Everywhere Museum

A wing of the House is set aside for Jenny to use as a museum for herselves and her friends – and, possibly, as a storeroom for random junk she may have acquired while wandering the universes.

This is the first mention of Jenny Everywhere in the chronicle, though she does not appear in person; it is also the first time the House is named, as the Infinite House.

18-I

Jenny also has a computer here linked to the outside world’s internet; her homepage is ficly.com – the site upon which Our Strange and Wonderful House first appeared.

( Chapter synopsis still in progress )

Worldbuilding

Jenny Everywhere

Not being limited to a single sequential human lifetime, various incarnations of Jenny Everywhere both passed through the House and settled down to live within it.

Readers should take in the entire work – but some may want to specifically look up where instances of Jenny Everywhere appear.

Chapter 18: The Jenny Everywhere Museum

Jenny Everywhere is named before she appears in person. The eighteenth chapter briefly describes a Jenny Everywhere Museum, where various incarnations of Jenny have stored mementos or dangerous artifacts.

Chapter 46: The Maids

Readers are given background information about the staff of the house, in the form of an interview with Jenny Everywhere.

Chapter 15: The Doorbell?

Jenny is mentioned but does not appear.

Chapter 52: The Guardian of the Ink Wells

No name is given for this person but she’s described as “a small teenaged girl ... dressed in a robe and aviator goggles.” Sound like someone we know?

Chapter 55: Teleporting Beach

The Guardian of the Ink Wells and a red-haired freckled friend have a teleportation misadventure.

Chapter 60: The Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House

At the end, Jenny Everywhere ensures that not everything of the House is lost...

Epilogue: Overgrown

...and years later Jenny finds out what Lara Dar-Ek did with her souvenir of the House.

Laura Drake

Laura Drake never appears, both named and in the narrative, in any of the entries.

In the Jenny Everywhere Museum there is a lock of red hair which could be hers, but we never find out why it was saved or which Jenny brought it in.

The Guardian of the Ink Wells has a friend nicknamed Treefrog with red hair and freckles.

In the Epilogue Jenny arrives at the wrong time and told that Lora Dar-Ek passed away long ago, of old age – but also that she used her life well.

Universes

• Most of the story takes place in the Strange and Wonderful House, which is “larger than most universes” and seems to connect to a number of alternative realities, though its exterior is physically located in a universe.
• Elshanor and Alastair are from another universe.

Other

• Will-o'-wisps are found in the Courtyard.
• The Pleasure Pad of Federico Ruiz is compared to “a pearl on the red rock of Mars”.
• The wealthy and decadent residents of the Pleasure Pad relax on “large cushions embroidered from the silk of mutated spiders”.
• According to the author's comments of Chapter 3, the Pleasure Pad is not actually “the seedy underbelly of the House” because that name is better applied to “the illegal underground greenhouse”.
• Among the books kept in Hawk Manor's library are various Ficlets works and the Ficlinomicon, which needs to be kept in a case wrapped with chains.
• Walking back into her dusty, long-abandoned home makes Elshanor feel “like Pip in Great Expectations”.
• Hallway - P13 is described as having contours rather than angles “in Apple fashion”.
• Among other things, the Dining Room can appear as “the viking halls of Valhalla”, with a ceiling “thatched with golden shields”; as “a festival held in a vast Byzantine palace”; or as a pub where one might listen to Iron Maiden. One “may hear Whitesnake on the jukebox or a Skald reciting Grímnismál”.

Continuity

• PROSE: Overgrown served as an epilogue to the story (and is incorporated as such into the 2022 edition). It did not take place in or near the Strange and Wonderful House, but revealed the fate of the House seed introduced in Chapter 60: The Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House as the last remnant of the House after its destruction.
• In PROSE: Morning After, while suffering from shifter hangover (a condition that caused memories of her other selves to bleed into her mind involuntarily and blur with her own), Jenny remembered that “we had a house (…) once, (…) a vast and ever-changing palace, strange and wonderful and alive”.

Behind the scenes

Read online

The original prose pieces making up Our Strange and Wonderful House can be found on Ficly, although a number of Appendices and a handful of Chapters are not listed as part of the Challenge and must be sought out individually. The 2022 annotated, collected ebook edition of Our Strange and Wonderful House can be read online for free on Issuu or downloaded for free as a PDF or an ePub.