Colonel-028

Colonel-028
A.K.A.	The Colonel
Character Information
Species	Clockwork Cherub
Gender	Male
Residence	The Cupid Homeworld
Behind the Scenes
First seen in	COMIC: Why Doth Love Sting So?
Also seen in	COMIC: Scaled-Up Soldier PROSE: The Faction of the Fooling Fish PROSE: Acquaintanceship-982 and the Missing Mail Mystery PROSE: The Mad Cupid of the Euclidean Plane (mentioned) PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine PROSE: The Cupid Parliament Destroyed? PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker
Copyright	Aristide Twain
Index	See category

Colonel-028 was a Mark I Clockwork Cherub of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids.

Description

Physical appearance

Colonel-028 was a typical Mark I Clockwork Cherub, appearing as a comparatively tall, gangly android with small metal wings moulded in one piece. He had a thin metallic mustache and wore a gray monocle on his right eye. (COMIC: Why Doth Love Sting So?)

Personality

In his later years, Colonel-028 was prone to boasting about his earlier achievements and more generally spinning tall tales about the Crew's early history. (COMIC: Why Doth Love Sting So?)

Powers & abilities

Like other members of the Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids, the Colonel was skilled at archery. (COMIC: Why Doth Love Sting So?) He also claimed to be a competent enough physical fighter to have once taken on a mammoth by himself, although this seemed to be one of his more far-fetched boasts. (COMIC: Scaled-Up Soldier)

Biography

Colonel-028 claimed that he had participated in various exciting adventures in the early days of the Crew, including once fighting a mammoth by himself. (COMIC: Scaled-Up Soldier)

Colonel-028 often told his tales to young Cupids before they departed on their first mission. Prior to Tracker-764 and Companionship-790's first trip to the Euclidean Plane, he gave Tracker the following advice: “Stay away from Triangries and Octasers. And don’t bother trying to romanticise a Pulsaton, they’re impossible to catch.”. Unfortunately, this sparked a reverse-psychology reaction in Tracker, who became determined to prove himself to the Colonel by romanticising a Pulsaton on his first trip; he ended up refusing to return to the Cupid Homeworld for a whole decade, stubbornly chasing a particular Pulsaton to no avail. (PROSE: The Mad Cupid of the Euclidean Plane)

On one occasion, Colonel-028 sat lazily on a small cloud, telling tall tales about the Crew's early exploits to a much younger Cupid, including the tale of the defeat of a particular Green Gorilla and a claim that early Cupids couldn't afford bows and simply threw their arrows at their targets. The latter led the young Cupid to ask why the Crew used violent items like arrows in the first place, prompting the Colonel to claim that it was so that the love dispensed by Cupids won't be “pointless”. (COMIC: Why Doth Love Sting So?)

On April 29th, 2019, a pie Colonel-028 had baked was stolen from his windowsill and replaced with a small paper fish. An irate Colonel badgered the Cupid Parliament into launching an investigation. It was decided that it would be carried out by the Blue Feather, (PROSE: The Faction of the Fooling Fish) whom the Colonel called to arms in person, becoming the first visitor to their brand-new headquarters in the West Wing of the Cupid Post Office. (PROSE: Acquaintanceship-982 and the Missing Mail Mystery) Their efforts eventually revealed that the prank was the work of the Faction of the Fooling Fish, who'd crossed over into the Cupid Homeworld through a Rift. (PROSE: The Faction of the Fooling Fish)

On Halloween 2019, as he did every year, Colonel-028 organised his annual “Mark I Halloween get-together”, attended, among others, by Doc-012, Nostradamus-066 and Technician-042. Arganthone-056 did not attend, being otherwise engaged. Despite the Homeworld-wide interruption caused by the Great Ghost's legion, the party was ultimately “a great success”. (PROSE: The Ghosts and the Machine)

Following the Rabbit Invasion, the Colonel advocated for the guilt of the Department of Haberdashery, getting into a row with Lord Thymon as a result. When the Department of Quasireligious Obsequiousness agreed with Nostradamus-066 that sacrifices to Aphrodite ought to be organised to thank her for her help in dealing with the rabbits, a snide Colonel suggested sacrificing the Department of Haberdashery. (PROSE: The Cupid Parliament Destroyed?)

When she first visited the Cupid Homeworld in December of 2020, Jenny Everywhere saw the Colonel arguing with Sneernobiel the Self-Righteous on one end of the ‘Mainland Cloud’ over “which of them was better at draping tinsel”. (PROSE: The Time of the Toymaker)

Behind the scenes

• Character profile on the official Crew of the Copper-Colored Cupids website