The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China (short story)
The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China was a short story written by Xavier Llewellyn which served as an unofficial sequel to Arcbeatle Press' April Fools' Day anthology The Noodle Incident. It was released on 24 July 2024.
Despite referencing the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People'[sic] Republic of China in the title, none of these characters/groups appear directly in the story.
Contents
Plot
Sitting on a sofa, Xavier Llewellyn — without finishing The Noodle Incident — becomes embittered after having not been asked by Arcbeatle Press to contribute. Closing the e-book on their smartphone, they begin to fume about Arcbeatle before stopping themself, not wanting to get into legal trouble; they quickly pivot to think positive opinions of the publishers. Deciding to write a "revenge fanfiction", they get distracted by messages on Discord from fans and writers of The Noodle Incident, breaking Xavier's concentration so much the perspective of the story shifts and bleeds out of the fourth wall.
After things go back to normal — or as much as they could in such a setting — Xavier's story syncs up with the real world story and the relationship between Xavier's universe and the real world reaches the point where it becomes confusing. So Xavier begins making things up as they go along, considering adding a joke about a man named Ryan and his sentient, omnipotent roulette wheel named Alan who traverse fan wikis, but decides not to.
Ceasing their "crappy metafiction" and abandoning concocting a "deathly plan of vindictive vindictiveness" and their writing of a revenge fanfiction, Xavier decides to kill the Noodle Man.
Understanding that their universe is a part of the multiverse, Xavier retrieves a Pot Noodle from a cupboard and begins stomping on the contents to summon the Noodle Man, all whilst calmly shouting, cursing and insulting the Noodle Man. Their ploy appears to work as a pile of wet noodles materialises in Xavier's universe, which then forms the Noodle Man. Xavier maniacally smiles, completely sanely.
The Noodle Man amiably raises his noodly arm in good faith to Xavier, but they whack it with a blender which knocks the fedora off the Noodle Man's head. Xavier begins jumping up and down on that too. Telling the Noodle Man — respectfully — to go "f*ck himself" and that he underestimates their power and hatred, they grab him by the trenchcoat and spins him around, plunging the Noodle Man's head into a pre-prepared pan of boiling water. Xavier resists the pain of the heat as they sever the Noodle Man's head, then spits on it.
- "And you didn't even F*CKING say ‘IT'S NOODLE TIME’ and noodled all over the place and made a noodbillion dollars! Talk about a missed opportunity!"
As the adrenaline dissipates, Xavier finishes boiling the Noodle Man's head, garnished it and then eating it. This has an unexpected effect, however, as Xavier begins to convulse in pain as an ominous pool of blood seeps into their t-shirt and they feel a pressure from the inside of their chest — it ruptures to a fountain of bloodied noodles, a regenerated Noodle Man — Second Noodle Man II. However, just as Second Noodle Man II introduces himself to the world, a gamma-ray burst hits Earth and decimates all life.
Worldbuilding
Universes
- Xavier lives in an unnamed universe, or, possibly, a timeline — "people" can't decide on the terminology, without even considering the terms "reality" and "dimension".
- This universe isn't the real world of the readers, but as the multiverse exists, technically every universe is a "real world".
- This universe is also not the Third Universe, none of the 10,000 Dawns, the WARS universe, or any of the other universes seen in The Noodle Incident.
Fiction
- In this universe, The Noodle Incident is an anthology published by Arcbeatle Press in 2024 and written by Aristide Twain. Xavier thinks the anthology is "fantastic", grievances aside.
- Xavier considers if the "loyal" readers of Arcbeatle Press were "unfairly shafted" when they didn't release a free e-book on their website as a physical book on the "infamous" amazon.com, concluding that the readers weren't.
- Xavier did check, finding only a book titled The Naughty Noodle Incident that was illustrated with AI "artwork".
- The Plummiest of the Puddings approves of Xavier's usage of the Noodle Man in their revenge fanfiction without technically licensing the Noodle Man.
- Xavier's reference to his power and hatred of the Noodle Man is an homage to Star Wars.
- Xavier also references Morbius.
Individuals
- Xavier, to provoke the Noodle Man, claims that the Pot Noodle they were stomping on was Noodle Wife.
Food and drink
- The Noodle Man is made out of noodles. His voice even sounds like his mouth is full of noodles.
- Xavier's temper "bubbl[es] like a pot of boiling noodles that had been forgotten about by its cooker, who had decided to make real food, such as Spam and cheese slices and sausages."
- Xavier garnishes the Noodle Man's head with sweet and sour sauce and faux-egg.
Continuity
- PROSE: Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe is a coda to this story. It reveals that Second Noodle Man II seemingly survived the destruction of Earth.
Behind the scenes
Read online
The story was originally released on Archive of Our Own here.
