Kablamazon

Kablamazon was a company based in the home universe of Jenny Over-There.

Nature

Once described as a “glorious e-commerce website” (PROSE: Who Laws the Lawyers?) it was in fact “a multiversal dropshipping eCommerce website”, believed by its CEO to be “one of the biggest companies in the multiverse”. (PROSE: Annals of the Jen: One Year of Jenny Over-There: First-Class Delivery) It sold miscellaneous items online and was “very evil”, (PROSE: The Tribulations of Jenny Over-There) with its reclusive CEO actually being an incarnation of the demon Lord Grallyx. (PROSE: Annals of the Jen: One Year of Jenny Over-There: First-Class Delivery)

History

Jenny Everywhere once got a job undercover as a Kablamazon delivery agent as part of a plan to make them go bankrupt. While undercover, she delivered a toaster to Jenny Over-There at the M.F.S. office. (PROSE: The Tribulations of Jenny Over-There) At some point prior to Christmas 2022, Kablamazon was bought by the Kooba Cola Corporation. (PROSE: A Very Jenny Over-There Christmas)

Though Jenny initially meant to quickly get rid of the CEO, she got side-tracked for a number of months by such adventures as “the time she stole the Holy Dog Bowl from the Werewolf Priests of Mars, or that time she saved Doctor Omega from the Space Romans, or even that time she tried to have a conversation with Grant Farrel”, the latter being a so-called superhero apparently possessed by the vengeful spirit of the god Thor. (PROSE: Annals of the Jen: One Year of Jenny Over-There: First-Class Delivery)

When a version of Bunny Everyhare materialised in the 925th Universe, her appearance mimicked the closest Jenny Everywhere, this one. She was appalled to find she was consequently wearing a Kablamazon uniform. (PROSE: Who Laws the Lawyers?)

Eventually, Jenny finally put her plans into action when Kablamazon implemented a new policy as a response to complaints of low morale in their many factories across the UK: the installation of ominous black monoliths called Therapy Prisms, in which employees could come at their leisure to take a break from the alienation of their daily work to instead suffer the alienation of sitting in a confined, pitch-black space with a blinking red sign asking ‘ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?’. Jenny used her factory's Prism as a hiding place to “get around the guards brutally forcing the workers out of the warehouse once their shift changed” — and this factory happened the very one in which the CEO's office was located. Thus, after hours, Jenny finally made her way there, armed with a ray-gun which was not actually loaded, intent on using it for intimidation.

The CEO, who was none other than a version of Lord Grallyx, was unfazed by the surprise attack and began to gloat about knowing that Jenny wouldn't dare the trigger regardless, but Jenny anti-climactically took him out by surprise after all — by bonking him on the head with the grip of the ray-gun. Recalling that there was a bounty on Grallyx among Doctor Omega's people, she decided to take him there, wrapping him in a very large cardboard box for transfer as the liberated workers burst out into triumphant song around her. (PROSE: Annals of the Jen: One Year of Jenny Over-There: First-Class Delivery)

Behind the scenes

Kablamazon's name is a portmanteau of that of real-world company Amazon and of its sci-fi parody from Doctor Who, Kerblam.