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Who Laws the Lawyers? (short story): Difference between revisions
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Who Laws the Lawyers? (short story) (view source)
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The next call, however, is more baffling yet, coming from a person with a squeaky voice who asks “where is [[Bunny Everyhare]]”. Jenny instantly replies that this person, whoever she is, is right outside her own window, and in hops [[Bunny Everyhare (Who laws the Lawyers?)|what appears to be a cartoon-bunny version of Jenny Everywhere]], complete with the [[Kablamazon]] outfit of [[Jenny Everywhere (925th Universe)|this world's Jenny]] — which she explains by saying that she “always looks like the nearest Jenny Everywhere”. She immediately jumps to asking them if they've been noticing any strange phenomena relating to nonexistent things popping in and out of existence at random, which she explains would be connected to [[the Null]], a stratum of the nothingness beyond existence which exists “beyond” the Void as experienced by interdimensional travellers. Nothing that travels into the Null can travel out again, but [[Null-entity|Null-entities]] sometimes make their way ''out''; naturally they don't exist until they leave it, but are contained therein in potentiality because the Null is so absolutely empty that it doesn't quite contain “nothing” either. | The next call, however, is more baffling yet, coming from a person with a squeaky voice who asks “where is [[Bunny Everyhare]]”. Jenny instantly replies that this person, whoever she is, is right outside her own window, and in hops [[Bunny Everyhare (Who laws the Lawyers?)|what appears to be a cartoon-bunny version of Jenny Everywhere]], complete with the [[Kablamazon]] outfit of [[Jenny Everywhere (925th Universe)|this world's Jenny]] — which she explains by saying that she “always looks like the nearest Jenny Everywhere”. She immediately jumps to asking them if they've been noticing any strange phenomena relating to nonexistent things popping in and out of existence at random, which she explains would be connected to [[the Null]], a stratum of the nothingness beyond existence which exists “beyond” the Void as experienced by interdimensional travellers. Nothing that travels into the Null can travel out again, but [[Null-entity|Null-entities]] sometimes make their way ''out''; naturally they don't exist until they leave it, but are contained therein in potentiality because the Null is so absolutely empty that it doesn't quite contain “nothing” either. | ||
The Finders' attempt to cajole Bunny into using her cartoon-based powers to find Benito and Bonham is interrupted when they hear an explosion coming from the front of the building, for which [[Dynamite Thor]] instantly protests that he is not responsible. Indeed, the culprit turns out to be Bonham, driving a personal armed hovercraft. Upon closer inspection, the villain, wreathed in a thin, smoky aura of nothingness, turns out to be an incarnation of [[Bunny Nullhare]], Everywhere's opposite number, | The Finders' attempt to cajole Bunny into using her cartoon-based powers to find Benito and Bonham is interrupted when they hear an explosion coming from the front of the building, for which [[Dynamite Thor]] instantly protests that he is not responsible. Indeed, the culprit turns out to be Bonham, driving a personal armed hovercraft. Upon closer inspection, the villain, wreathed in a thin, smoky aura of nothingness, turns out to be an incarnation of [[Bunny Nullhare]], Everywhere's opposite number, whose nature is to appear as a cartoonish rabbit villain — in this case mimicking Bonham — to match Bunny's cartoon-character aesthetic. Stuck in-character, the villain announces that he's going to “destroy you all, tear down this finder's service, and then (…) use it to find [[Princess Plum]], [and finally] defeat Benito and his scrawny brother once and for all!”. Bunny Everyhare readies for battle by drawing a cartoonishly large mallet out of nowhere, declaring herself “the third most powerful being in [[the Multiverse]]”. | ||
A battle soon breaks out between Bunny and Bonham, with Dynamite Thor rapidly depleting his store of dynamite to try and help (and loudly denying that he is the same person as Peter Thor was here a moment ago). As the slapstick drags on, Jenny and the Man in Grey find themselves unwilling to gamble on which of “Bonham loses to a small bunny-girl with a big mallet” or “the alleged third-most-powerful-being-in-the-Multiverse loses to an unimpressive cartoon villain” will be considered funnier by Bunny's carton-physics-based powers. Brainstorming alternatives, they realise that as Bonham's canonical archnemesis is a copyright lawyer, and the character is copyrighted fiction in this universe, it makes narrative sense for them to call [[Kyujudo]]'s copyright lawyers on them for a metafictional, comedic anticlimax. | A battle soon breaks out between Bunny and Bonham, with Dynamite Thor rapidly depleting his store of dynamite to try and help (and loudly denying that he is the same person as Peter Thor was here a moment ago). As the slapstick drags on, Jenny and the Man in Grey find themselves unwilling to gamble on which of “Bonham loses to a small bunny-girl with a big mallet” or “the alleged third-most-powerful-being-in-the-Multiverse loses to an unimpressive cartoon villain” will be considered funnier by Bunny's carton-physics-based powers. Brainstorming alternatives, they realise that as Bonham's canonical archnemesis is a copyright lawyer, and the character is copyrighted fiction in this universe, it makes narrative sense for them to call [[Kyujudo]]'s copyright lawyers on them for a metafictional, comedic anticlimax. | ||
