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{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' (novel)}}{{Short Story | |||
| title1=''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' | | title1=''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' | ||
| image1= Our Strange and Wonderful House - Final Cover.jpg | | image1= Our Strange and Wonderful House - Final Cover.jpg | ||
| caption1= | | caption1= | ||
| other_titles= | | other_titles= | ||
| featuring= [[The Architect]]<br>[[Federico Ruiz]]<br>[[Elshanor]]<br>[[Krully]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Pip]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]]<br>[[Brother (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed brother]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Ana]]<br>[[Rennik]]<br>[[Odin|Grímnir]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Guard (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed guard]]<br>[[Imp (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Imp]]<br>[[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Mad Gardener]]<br>[[Grigori (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Grigori]]<br>[[President of Zimbabwe]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Rohinder]]<br>[[The Devil#Facing Rohinder|The Devil]]<br>[[John Milton]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Leonardo Da Vinci#On Earth-274|Leonardo Da Vinci]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Laura Drake#Lock of hair in the Museum|Laura Drake]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Elder God (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Elder God]]<br><small>(skull)</small><br>[[ | | featuring= [[The Architect]]<br>[[Federico Ruiz]]<br>[[Elshanor]]<br>[[Krully]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Pip]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]]<br>[[Brother (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed brother]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Ana]]<br>[[Rennik]]<br>[[Odin|Grímnir]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Guard (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed guard]]<br>[[Imp (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Imp]]<br>[[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Mad Gardener]]<br>[[Grigori (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Grigori]]<br>[[President of Zimbabwe]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Rohinder]]<br>[[The Devil#Facing Rohinder|The Devil]]<br>[[John Milton]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Leonardo Da Vinci#On Earth-274|Leonardo Da Vinci]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Laura Drake#Lock of hair in the Museum|Laura Drake]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Elder God (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Elder God]]<br><small>(skull)</small><br>[[Kal-el (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Kal-el]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[The Lady in Mourning]]<br>[[Wandering mendicant (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed “wandering mendicant”]]<br>[[Master of the House|The Master of the House]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Mika]]<br>[[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]]<br>[[Mika's father]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Vincent Van Gogh]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Malthus]]<br>[[Mandy (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mandy]]<br>[[Christopher (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Christopher]]<br>[[Uncle Jack]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Montresor]]<br>[[Goblin King (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Goblin King]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Father Time]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Killer in the Mud Room]]<br>[[Master of the House's mistress|The Master of the House's mistress]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Master of the House's wife|The Master of the House's wife]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Figure in the Airing Cupboard|The Figure in the Airing Cupboard]]<br>[[Spamblodgett]]<br>[[Lally]]<br>[[Renderblat]]<br>[[Gravitcher]]<br>[[Head of Housekeeping|The Head of Housekeeping]]<br>[[Agrontus]]<br>[[Old zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed old zookeeper]]<br>[[Young zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed young zookeeper]]<br>[[Rondel]]<br>[[Rondel's father]]<br>[[Oggie]]<br>[[Mila]]<br>[[Luda]]<br>[[Seven]]<br>[[Six]]<br>[[Eight]]<br>[[Woman in the Painting|The Woman in the Painting]]<br><small>(painting; mentioned)</small><br>[[Man with the crimson cloak|The Man with the Crimson Cloak]]<br>[[Werepanda|The Werepanda]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Sid]]<br>[[I. T. Haze]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[The Bodhi Tree]]<br>[[The Bodhi Son]]<br>[[Loom weaver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed loom weaver]]<br>[[Carmen Sandiego|Carmen]]<br>[[Kid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed “kid”]]<br>[[Le Fox]]<br>[[Frank the Janitor]]<br>[[Personification of February|The personification of February]]<br>[[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed robot]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Maid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Maid]]<br>[[Bridget (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Bridgets]]<br>[[Xafira (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Xafiras]]<br>[[Valerie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Valeries]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed friend of Jenny Everywhere's]]<br>[[The TARDIS]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Space marauder (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed space marauder]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Oliver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Oliver]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|“Inkstain”]]<br>[[Laura Drake#Treefrog|“Treefrog"]]<br>[[The Librarian]]<br>[[The Room Keeper]]<br>[[The Armourer]]<br>[[Hawk (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed hawk]]<br>[[Robert Quick (in-universe)|Robert Quick]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Dragon (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unidentified Dragon]] | ||
| setting= [[The Strange and Wonderful House]]<br>[[Hawk Manor]], [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]]<br>[[Mika]] and [[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]]'s house, [[Universe D (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]] | | setting= [[The Strange and Wonderful House]]<br>[[Hawk Manor]], [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]]<br>[[Mika]] and [[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]]'s house, [[Universe D (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]] | ||
| length= 60 chapters<br>32 appendices | | length= 60 chapters<br>32 appendices | ||
| writer(s)= <small>'''''Welcome!'', Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, & Appendices 18-I, 19-1, 32-II:'''</small><br>[[Zxvasdf]]<br><small>'''Chapters 5, 21, Appendices 19-I, 21-I, 27-III:'''</small><br>[[Elsha Hawk]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-I:'''</small><br>[[ALRO613]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-II, Chapter 24:'''</small><br>[[R3mix]]<br><small>'''Chapters 6, 12, 13, Appendices 13-I, 13-IV, 13-V, 13-VI:'''</small><br>[[Jay Dee]]<br><small>'''Chapter 8:'''</small><br>[[H. S. Wift]]<br><small>'''Chapters 9, 10, 23, 29, 31, 35, 36:'''</small><br>[[Robert Quick]]<br><small>'''Chapters 11, Appendices 13-II, 21-I:'''</small><br>[[THX 0477]]<br><small>'''Chapters 18, 19, 22, 33, Appendices 13-III, 24-I, 24-II:'''</small><br>[[Jeanne Morningstar]]<br><small>'''Chapter 14:'''</small><br>[[Sir Bic]]<br><small>'''Chapters 15, 16, 17, Appendix 32-I:'''</small><br>[[Wednesday]]<br><small>''' | | writer(s)= <small>'''''Welcome!'', Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 56, & Appendices 18-I, 19-1, 32-II, 39-II, 39-III, 44-I, 55-I:'''</small><br>[[Zxvasdf]]<br><small>'''Chapters 5, 21, Appendices 19-I, 21-I, 27-III:'''</small><br>[[Elsha Hawk]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-I:'''</small><br>[[ALRO613]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-II, Chapter 24:'''</small><br>[[R3mix]]<br><small>'''Chapters 6, 12, 13, Appendices 13-I, 13-IV, 13-V, 13-VI:'''</small><br>[[Jay Dee]]<br><small>'''Chapter 8:'''</small><br>[[H. S. Wift]]<br><small>'''Chapters 9, 10, 23, 29, 31, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 59, Appendices 38-I, 38-II, 39-I, 40-I, 40-II, 59-I:'''</small><br>[[Robert Quick]]<br><small>'''Chapters 11, 31, Appendices 13-II, 21-I:'''</small><br>[[THX 0477]]<br><small>'''Chapters 18, 19, 22, 33, 38, 46, 60, Appendices 13-III, 24-I, 24-II:'''</small><br>[[Jeanne Morningstar]]<br><small>'''Chapter 14:'''</small><br>[[Sir Bic]]<br><small>'''Chapters 15, 16, 17, Appendix 32-I:'''</small><br>[[Wednesday]]<br><small>'''Chapters 20, 45:'''</small><br>[[Memento]]<br><small>'''Chapter 26:'''</small><br>[[Cecilia Harper]]<br><small>'''Chapter 27:'''</small><br>[[MultiversalInk]]<br><small>'''Chapter 30, Appendixes 27-I, 27-II, 27-IV, 27-V:'''</small><br>[[August 2nd]]<br><small>'''Chapter 28:'''</small><br>[[32 Squared]]<br><small>'''Chapter 32:'''</small><br>[[Ludmila Yevgenovicha]]<br><small>'''Chapter 43, Appendix 43-I:'''</small><br>[[Nhrn]]<br><small>'''Chapter 44:'''</small><br>[[Brokkoli]]<br><small>'''Chapters 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 55:''':</small><br>[[Binky Lemontwist]]<br><small>'''Chapter 53:'''</small><br>[[Fox Amongst Wolves]]<br><small>'''Chapter 54:'''</small><br>[[Valen Lim]]<br><small>'''Chapter 57:'''</small><br>[[McKennab]]<br><small>'''Chapter 58:'''</small><br>[[Shu Sam Chen]] | ||
| artist(s)= | | artist(s)= | ||
| dates= May 27th, 2011 - September 10th, 2014 | | dates= May 27th, 2011 - September 10th, 2014 | ||
| original_link= [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/]<br>[https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house] | | original_link= [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/]<br>[https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house] | ||
| seriesnav = ''[[30 Days of Jenny (series)|30 Days of Jenny]]'' | |||
| previous = ''[[The Oubliette (short story)|The Oubliette]]'' | |||
| next = ''[[Writer’s Block, Redux, Again (short story)|Writer’s Block, Redux, Again]]'' | |||
}}'''''Our Strange and Wonderful House''''' was an experimental collaborative prose work created on [http://ficly.com Ficly] by a large number of writers, starting from a premise and format established by [[Zxvasdf]]. Although not conceived of as a novel at its inception, it was termed one by the foreword of the 2022 ebook edition, which was put together by [[Aristide Twain]]. Although she was not the main character, [[Jenny Everywhere]], in several incarnations, recurred several times through the book. | }}'''''Our Strange and Wonderful House''''' was an experimental collaborative prose work created on [http://ficly.com Ficly] by a large number of writers, starting from a premise and format established by [[Zxvasdf]]. Although not conceived of as a novel at its inception, it was termed one by the foreword of the 2022 ebook edition, which was put together by [[Aristide Twain]]. Although she was not the main character, [[Jenny Everywhere]], in several incarnations, recurred several times through the book. | ||
Instead of any singular narrative, ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' was made up of a series of vignettes describing, or centering on, various areas of the titular sentient, impossibly vast, shifting [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Many, though by no means all, of its Chapters and Appendices were written in the second person, putting the reader in the shoes of an otherwise-unseen visitor exploring the house. We have elected not to give character pages to these figures, so as to avoid having to make judgment calls about the degree to which the | Instead of any singular narrative, ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' was made up of a series of vignettes describing, or centering on, various areas of the titular sentient, impossibly vast, shifting [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Many, though by no means all, of its Chapters and Appendices were written in the first and second person, putting either the writer or the reader in the shoes of an otherwise-unseen visitor exploring the house. We have elected not to give character pages to these figures, so as to avoid having to make judgment calls about the degree to which the ‘I’s and ‘You’s of various individual parts should be considered the same continuous character. | ||
==Contents== | ==Contents== | ||
| Line 113: | Line 115: | ||
===== Appendix 18-I: The Jenny Everywhere Museum (cont'd) ===== | ===== Appendix 18-I: The Jenny Everywhere Museum (cont'd) ===== | ||
Two further items within [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum|the Museum]] are listed. The first is “[[Bottle universe (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a bottle filled with a miniature universe]]” containing the story of [[ | Two further items within [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum|the Museum]] are listed. The first is “[[Bottle universe (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a bottle filled with a miniature universe]]” containing the story of [[Kal-el (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Kal-el]]. The second is a computer linked to [[Universe C (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|“our” universe]]'s Internet, allowing her to set up her own website, [[Ficly|ficly.com]]. | ||
==== Chapter 19: The Ruined Chapel ==== | ==== Chapter 19: The Ruined Chapel ==== | ||
| Line 206: | Line 208: | ||
==== Chapter 36: Into the Gardens (Part 2) ==== | ==== Chapter 36: Into the Gardens (Part 2) ==== | ||
After [[Master of the House|the visitor]] returns his bow, the [[Sid|strange man]] props his broom against a tree and muses that he had expected that the visitor would try to find solace at [[the Dojo]] rather than [[the Gardens]]. When the visitor expresses confusion, never having heard of “the Dojo”, the strange man cryptically states that this must be because it “hasn't been thought of yet”, remarking that “time is flexible [[The Strange and Wonderful House|here]]”. He invites the visitor to take a tour of the Gardens with him, enticing him with the promise that it will end with having tea in the shade of [[the Bodhi Tree]]. His irritation melting away, replaced by curiosity, the man accepts the offer. | After [[Master of the House|the visitor]] returns his bow, the [[Sid|strange man]] props his broom against a tree and muses that he had expected that the visitor would try to find solace at [[the Dojo]] rather than [[the Gardens]]. When the visitor expresses confusion, never having heard of “the Dojo”, the strange man cryptically states that this must be because it “hasn't been thought of yet”, remarking that “time is flexible [[The Strange and Wonderful House|here]]”. He invites the visitor to take a tour of the Gardens with him, enticing him with the promise that it will end with having tea in the shade of [[the Bodhi Tree]]. His irritation melting away, replaced by curiosity, the man accepts the offer. | ||
==== Chapter 37: The Secrets of Our Gardens (Part 1) ==== | |||
The old man, who gives his name as [[Sid]], continues to lead [[Master of the House|the visitor]] through the winding paths that criss-cross [[the Gardens]]. After passing a path that leads to [[the Topiary Veranda]], they reach the entrance of [[the hedge maze]] designed by [[I. T. Haze]]. | |||
==== Chapter 38: The Secrets of Our Gardens (Part 2: Accursed Springs) ==== | |||
When [[Sid]] shows [[Master of the House|his charge]] “[[the training ground of accursed springs]]”, he expresses surprise at such a seemingly malevolent thing being part of [[the Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Sid tuts at his “mistaken impression that the House is essentially good”: built “on ground that once belonged to [[Faerie]] and made from their wood, (…) something of Faerie still remains within it”. It's all dangerous, “even the ‘good’ parts”, with [[the hedge maze]] being “infested by [[topiary minotaur]]s” and the patterns of light cast by the stained glass windows being liable to teach people “the secret of the universe” and making them go insane, to say nothing of “[[the Spring of Drowned Zombie]]”. Sid adds that “even worse, like many new writers, you think you’re in control of every part of the story”; when the visitor replies that “we” did in fact “make” the House, Sid cryptically implies that this is a limited perspective. They continue walking and find themselves in a landscape which the visitor believed to be “in [[China]], or [[Japan]]”, to which Sid replies that “all three are correct, depending on your perspective”. The visitor suddenly feels calmer and realises that in the distance, he can now glimpse the towering form of [[the Bodhi Tree]]. | |||
===== Appendix 38-I: A Return to Innocence ===== | |||
[[Master of the House|The visitor]] approaches [[the Bodhi Tree]] and is surprised that [[Sid]] stays behind, telling him that the last few steps are “his own”. He briefly grows suspicious, but the idyllic, childlike peace that seems to surround the Tree convinces him to walk on ahead, even kicking off his shoes to finish the journey barefoot. | |||
===== Appendix 38-II: The Pain of Rebirth ===== | |||
As he reaches the centre of the area, [[Master of the House|the visitor]] is overcome with a sense of cosmic love that brings him to his knees at the base of [[the Bodhi Tree|the Tree]], tears welling in his eyes, expelling all his feelings of “unworthiness, self-hate and guilt”. When he finishes crying, feeling a new man, he asks if it's “always like that”. Though finds no one there to answer, he feels at peace and increasingly certain that he feels not just good, but great — “fully rested, at peace, and ready for anything”: ready to “change the world”. | |||
==== Chapter 39: The Bodhi Tree ==== | |||
Having finished with his own rebirth, [[Master of the House|the visitor]] rolls over his back to consider [[the Bodhi Tree]] itself, huge and indescribably beautiful. He brushes a hand against the bark and suddenly finds his mind brushing against the “tentative, feathery presence” of the Tree itself, getting a glimpse of its ageless perspective on the world around it. | |||
===== Appendix 39-I: Wake to Dream Again ===== | |||
[[Master of the House|The visitor]] finds [[Sid]] again, with Sid telling him that he must now choose whether he will stay by [[the Bodhi Tree]]'s side indefinitely, or return to his normal life, at the cost of the humdrum complications of everyday life slowly chipping away at his enlightenment until he has all but forgotten what he really found here. The visitor seems to accept this, but finds it unfair. | |||
===== Appendix 39-II: The Will of the Creator ===== | |||
The visitor suddenly realises that he has chosen to go back to [[the Bodhi Tree]] an incalculable amount of times, each time returning and being given the choice again by [[Sid]]. Sid has been patiently waiting for him to choose the other option. The visitor compliments him as having “the patience of an [[angel]]”, to which Sid replies: “I am but the will of [[the Architect|my Creator]]”. The visitor announces that he is ready, and Sid extends his hands with the words: “[[the Manor]] awaits its Lord”, identifying the visitor as the [[Master of the House]]. As “memories the size of a million eternally propagating [[multiversal cluster|multiverses]]” come crashing back into his mind “like a vicious tide”, he realises, grinning, that he is “on the infinity kick again”. He thanks Sid, joking that “the end of [his] vacation is just the beginning of [Sid's]”. | |||
===== Appendix 39-III: The Bodhi Son ===== | |||
A man is found lying against [[the Bodhi Tree]]'s trunk, nestled between two roots. A “beard of many months' growth” curls in his lap, but though he appears to be sleeping his piercing blue eyes are wide open. Locals start calling him [[the Bodhi Son]], and he ends up becoming the focus of a religious cult which places candle prayers at his feet. Over time, a cathedral of stone and wood is built against the contours of the Tree. Through all of this, the Son neither moves nor ages. Eventually, tragedy strikes, a great fire consuming the cathedral and Tree both; the Son is unharmed, but tears trail down his sooty face. When the Bodhi Tree finally dies, he blinks awake, his eyes now green as the Tree's leaves once were. | |||
==== Chapter 40: The Cheshire (Part 1) ==== | |||
A visitor finds himself faced with [[the Cheshire|an elevator]] unlike any he's seen before: its doors are “covered in blue fur with a jagged purple stripe across the middle”. The doors slide open at his approach, and he finds that the interior is strangely normal — until he tries to press the button for [[the third floor]] and ''misses'', finding that the buttons keep moving around and, in some cases, disappearing and reappearing. While he's still studying the controls, a chime rings out and the doors begin to slide shut. | |||
===== Appendix 40-I: The Cheshire (Part 2) ===== | |||
Suddenly, a woman arrives, shouting for him to hold the doors open long enough for her to come in too. The visitor acquiesces, sticking his hand in the narrowing crevice to force the doors to recede again. The newcomer is a [[Carmen Sandiego|dark-haired young woman]] wearing a long red coat and matching hat, who says she does not care which floor they go to, so long as it's away from the current one. When she sees the first visitor struggling with the appearing and reappearing button, she admonishes the elevator aloud, calling it “[[The Cheshire Cat|Cheshire]]”. When the visitor expresses confusion, she explains that it is “a mystic elevator” which can go “anywhere in the house”, which she likes to call “[[the Cheshire]]”. It has a very definite personality, and is purposefully “messing” with the visitor out of mischief. The visitor uncertainly strokes the wall, and a contented purr erupts in reply. | |||
===== Appendix 40-II: The Cheshire Cat (Part 3) ===== | |||
Laughing, the woman introduces herself as [[Carmen Sandiego|Carmen]], an “international and temporal thief”, and holds out a hand for the visitor to shake. The visitor finds her joy catching, though he doesn't believe her claim of being a thief, thinking she looks more like “a secretary late to work”. Stroking the wall again, Carmen coaxes the Cheshire into playing nice and prompts the visitor to try to hit his button again, but before he can do so, the doors slide open again to admit a third passenger: a “[[Kid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|nervous youth]]” carrying a bag filled with a leafy substance. Twitching, he accidentally drops it to the floor. Going to her knees, a frantic Carmen immediately identifies it as catnip and warns the visitor that they are now in “a world of trouble”. | |||
==== Chapter 41: The ‘Rock Room’ ==== | |||
A point-of-view character watches a smartly-dressed woman he mentally nicknamed [[Le Fox]] prepare to perform on stage with an acoustic guitar. A woman sitting next to him, whose intense blue eyes capture his attention, muses that she could swear the room was completely different last night. The point-of-view character concurs that [[the Rock Room]], much like the rest of the house, is “mercurial”, adapting to the needs of the people in it; instead of the current small, domed room, it has also been known to appear as an opera stage and everything in-between the two. The conversation ends as “Le Fox” begins her song in earnest. | |||
==== Chapter 42: Zen Garden ==== | |||
At 3 a.m., a resident of [[the House]] lies awake in bed, thoughts swirling through his head. Slipping on a robe, he gets up and wanders aimlessly through the corridors until he finds himself at an “unfamiliar sliding door”. He comes in and finds a room where several rakes of differing sizes lean against the wall. Grabbing one, he enters and find a [[The Zen Garden|room]] lit with a soft light which evokes moonlight, and housing two large sandboxes. The first sandbox has recently been raked; the other bears a brass plaque reading ''strength'' on one side, and another reading ''This space left intentionally blank'' on the other. Within, tiny bridges connect pools of moss, and in the centre there stands a small bonsai tree, “brethren of [[Walter (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Walter]] from the look of it”. Quietly, the night-wanderer begins to rake. | |||
==== Chapter 43: The Vault ==== | |||
Needing something from [[the Vault]], [[Frank the Janitor|Frank]] implements the rather complex series of steps needed to access it: climbing “the sound of chimes in [[the Courtyard]] to pluck a leaf from [[the Bodhi Tree]]”, collecting a [[certificate of sanity]] from the “non-mad-science corner” of [[the Lab]], plucking a certain key from underneath the 32nd seashell in [[the Painting]], consuming the leaf, handing the certificate to the [[personification of February]] to gain entry into [[the hallway to nowhere]], “turning left at Thursday”, and then chucking the key into “a vase on the ceiling above the painting of infinite sparrow hawks”. The door of the Vault duly unlocks; in the centre of the oppressive room is a wooden plinth. After crossing the final defence, a stream, in the proper manner (jumping twice on his right foot and then landing on his left across the stream), he finds a note on the plinth instead of the item he desired. | |||
===== Appendix 43-I: The Note ===== | |||
The note reads “''My apologies, I had to borrow the vacuum to clear up the mess made by the gardener in [[the North West attic]] under [[the reverse Koi pond]] next Saturday''”. To his annoyance, it is signed “[[Frank the Janitor]]”, and Frank realises that he took a wrong temporal turn at Thursday, ending up ''after'' he himself already borrowed the vacuum and thus creating a minor paradox. Grumpily, he sets about getting out of [[the Vault]] and retracing his steps. He recalls the rhyme telling him which of the opaque windows making up the walls of the Vault serves as an exit: “''Seven laps clockwise from the north, six counter from your new location, now keep stepping left and enter the fourth''”. He implements its direction, and, closing his eyes, steps backwards into a window, hoping he has the right one. | |||
==== Chapter 44: The Basement ==== | |||
A visitor to [[the House]] enters [[the Basement]] through a small staircase they hadn't noticed before. It is colder than the rest of the House, and they can hear the “clicking and stomping” of hundreds of machines which look like they've been here for over a millennium. Before long, they reach the end of the staircase, which connects to a “big copper bridge” which hovers over a veritable sea of gears and other metal parts. The sound is hypnotic instead of deafening, and before they can think better of it, the visitor finds themself taking one step too many and tumbling down. | |||
===== Appendix 44-I: Safety Catch ===== | |||
Before falling to their doom, however, the visitor is caught by a [[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|huge, yet friendly-looking robot]] who carries them back up the stairs. Dropping them at the door to the basement, it salutes and winks before disappearing in a blur. | |||
==== Chapter 45: The Cathedral ==== | |||
A weary writer visits [[the Cathedral]], which is dusty and abandoned, as “the stigma is too great”. Looking down at the floor, they can see the ancient, foreboding inscriptions: “''Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,/Your old men shall dream dreams,/Your young men shall see visions.''”. The writer steps forward towards the altar, “bathed in the stained-glass glow”, where dozens of writing implements have been laid. This symbolises a solemn vow to forsake writing forever, which no one has ever broken or indeed regretted. Hesitantly, the writer steps forward, clutching their fountain pen. | |||
==== Chapter 46: The Maids ==== | |||
An [[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|incarnation]] of [[Jenny Everywhere]] is interviewed by a [[Maid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|senior]] [[Maid]], having applied to become one herself. The old Maid warns that her reputation precedes her, albeit in other incarnations than the present one, but grants that her “unique nature” may be an asset to [[the House]] as much as a burden. Jenny prompts her to simply ask the House Herself “what ''She'' thinks”, with the Maid replying that that will come “in due course”. First, however, the older Maid once again goes over the duties of a Maid and what joining [[Household Staff]] ''means'', including the fact that she can never leave the House again. Jenny reassures her that she has thought long and hard about the pros and cons, and is confident in her decision. Satisfied, the older Maid formally declares: “if you survive [[the Test]], you shall become a Maid. You will watch the House while [[Master of the House|the Master]] is away”. | |||
==== Chapter 47: The Fabulous Salon ==== | |||
[[The Fabulous Salon]] is described. “Wonderful” hands growing out of the doorway instantly “rinse, lather, dry, and perfume” all comers, even before they are greeted by [[the Triplets]] who run the salon. There were originally only three Triplets, but each of them was duplicated many times over after a “freak accident” in [[the Lab]], and all the clones work together in the Salon (“[[Bridget (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Bridget]]s specialize in hair, [[Xafira (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Xafira]]s are nail experts, and [[Valerie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Valerie]]s are miracle workers with cosmetic surgery”). The room itself is “moody”, changing appearance in time with goings-on in the rest of [[the House]] (it “was once known to change into a black room with hundreds of roses when a troll somehow got stuck in [[the Elevator]]”), but it is generally long, with “thousands” of swivel chairs. Among more mundane items like hair dryers and brushes, it is also furnished with “pink [[gnome]]s” and “devices of mass destruction”, with it being rumoured that a few [[Dragon]]s lurk in the hair dye closet. The gossip magazines made available to patrons are “the latest gossip magazines of the House”, and services are paid in the form of hundreds of cupcakes, although discounts are available for parties and other such emergencies. | |||
==== Chapter 48: The Cotillion Cavern ==== | |||
[[The Cotillion Cavern]] is described. It is an enormously dangerous place: trapdoors open on the dance-floor at the end of every third waltz, daggers hang from the chandeliers by “slowly-disintegrating threads”, the air conditioning vents “occasionally expel laughing gas”, the music sometimes gets loud enough to rupture eardrums, and even the drinks are randomly laced with “any of the following: alcohol, cranberry juice, [[dragon]] [[dragon spit|spit]], paralyzing poison, truth serum, sleep syrup, pure caffeine, and other additives”. However, brave partygoers who manage to survive all the way through the deadly cotillion are rewarded with a treasure chest containing any combination of a long list of valuable or extroardinary items including “discounts for [[the Salon]], rubies, an egg of a [[giant sea rooster]], ropes of diamond, jet packs, a [[TARDIS]], hallucination inducers, a cryogenics manual, golden daggers, a pair of silver earrings, and a portal to [[Mars]]”. | |||
==== Chapter 49: The Roof ==== | |||
[[The Roof]] is described. Stretching as far as the eye can see and swept over by “vicious” winds, it is “covered in lines, dashes, squares, and circles of paint to help guide the many airborne creatures and machines that call the Roof home”; the latter include “airships, jumbo jets, hot air balloons, ornithopters, jet-proppelled wings, dragons of all shapes and sizes, [[zero gravity vest]]s, zeppelins, starships, UFOs,” and many more. Flight attendants constantly “scurry about” to help visitors “find, borrow, rent, buy, steal, or otherwise obtain” whatever “flying thing” will suit their needs, so long as they carry appropriate identification. For all its wonders, the Roof is hard to get to: one must take [[the Elevator]] to [[the Theater Room]], then go backstage to find a portal to the hair dye closet in [[the Salon]]. There, one of the [[dragon]]s will “beam” anyone who gives them “a sky lantern fueled with hydrogen” up to the Roof. | |||
==== Chapter 50: The Stage ==== | |||
[[The Stage]] is described. It is a dangerous, temperamental theatre stage; stained with what lore insists is just dye, it has heavy, purple velvet curtains which “have been known to swallow whole people up”, trapdoors which sometimes accidentally open, lights wont to catching on fire, and other such hazards, with rubber knives occasionally being replaced with metal ones. As such, only extremely adventurous and experienced entertainers dare to perform upon it, from “singers and musicians who have sung to pirates, princes, [[dragon]]s, peasants, and spies and lived to sing the tale” to actors who “are not really acting”. Indeed, many thrilling tales are told or performed on this stage, including “pirate adventures, tragedies from [[Angel|the Gardeners]], romances told by [[dragon]]s, space voyages told by aliens and astronauts, and so much more”. | |||
==== Chapter 51: The Doorbell? ==== | |||
A [[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|friend of Jenny Everywhere's]] stumbles through the gates into [[the Courtyard]]. She walks up to the thirty-foot-tall, [[The Doctor's TARDIS|TARDIS]]-blue double doors, and is surprised not to see the actual [[the House|House]] around them — just hundreds of seemingly floating windows that “show the wonders of the House”, and a “curious-looking, seemingly [[Japan]]ese bell with a matching stone mallet at its side”. Needing a place to stay, as she was recently knocked out and robbed of all her possessions (including “her pair of [[ruby chopstick]]s, which a [[space marauder (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|space marauder]] had kindly given her during the first trip she had taken to [[Mars]]”). The doors prove too thick to be knocked on effectively, so she picks up the large mallet and swings for the bell with it. To her surprise, it produces the sound of “a baby's laughter”. | |||
==== Chapter 52: The Guardian of the Ink Wells ==== | |||
A man called [[Oliver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Oliver]] stumbles through “twisting, whispering hallways”, a stack of paper in his hands and pens, quills and paintbrushes filling his pockets. Following an eerie chant in a dead language, he makes his way to a giant gate made of golden pens, the room behind it too dark to see anything. Putting a hand on the gate, he calls out for “[[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|the Guardian]] of [[the Ink Wells]]”. The gate opens of its own accord, and he falls into the room, where an ominous voice asks what his business is. However, when he explains that he simply needs some ink, the lights flash on to reveal the Guardian, an unassuming teenage girl dressed in robes and [[Jenny Everywhere's goggles|aviator goggles]]. Gesturing at the giant holes in the cement floor behind her, she tells him to help himself to “any of the uncovered wells”, claiming that she has “all colors and liquids”. | |||
==== Chapter 53: The Airing Cupboard of Despair ==== | |||
A figure creeps through [[the Tunnel]], a clear glass tunnel which is being buffeted from outside by a swirling mass of inky blackness. Making their way to the end of the tunnel, the figure finds a hatch, glass too, with brass fitting. Despite the protests of other figures within the tunnel, they twist the handle and open the hatchway. Instead of the darkness flooding in to drown the tunnels, it disappears from the outside: the figure has let the light ''out''. | |||
==== Chapter 54: The Empty Room ==== | |||
[[The Empty Room]]. It is said to be the hardest room to access in the whole [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]], but that is perhaps for the best, as no one in their right mind wants to access it: as soon as one enters the pure-white expanse within, one loses sight of the door itself, and becomes nothing but a non-corporeal point of awareness in the middle of the void, lost forever — “eternal, suspended, deathless”. Only [[the Architect]] knows how to get in and out, and it (for the Architect is an “it”) likes to spend its afternoons there, “thinking and drawing up blueprints for new rooms for [[the Infinite Wing]]”. | |||
==== Chapter 55: Teleporting Beach ==== | |||
Incongruously dressed in neon bathing suits, [[the Guardian of the Ink Wells]] and [[Treefrog]] make their way through [[the Gardens]], past the “[[The Bodhi Tree|gigantic tree]]”, until they reach [[the backyard]], where they finally find what they were looking for: a portal which suddenly teleports them to [[the Beach]], with soft black sand and blue water which almost seems to glow. The two girls, overjoyed, jump into the water and enjoy an hour of swimming in this somehow-''breathable'' sea. However, when they finally resurface, they find themselves teleported again — this time to [[the Library (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|the Library]]. | |||
===== Appendix 55-I: There is No Dripping in the Library ===== | |||
Stunned, [[the Guardian of the Ink Wells]] and [[Treefrog]] spend a few moments just standing there in [[the Library]], shivering in the cold and dripping down on the plush red carpeting, until they are confronted by [[the Librarian]], who shushes them sternly and seems particularly upset with the Guardian, who “should know better”. She refers to the latter as “Inkstain”, prompting Treefrog to remark on her friend apparently having had a name this whole time (though the Guardian denies that Inkstain is her ''actual'' name), until the Librarian silences them again with a “whispered” roar. | |||
==== Chapter 56: The Seven Hundred Nineteenth Airing Cupboard ==== | |||
A member of [[Household Staff]] who has spent their career inspecting all the airing cupboards in [[the House]] reaches [[the Seven Hundred Nineteenth Airing Cupboard|the Seven Hundred Nineteenth]]. This one is cramped and ordinary, containing nothing but a damp mop and an off-white water-heater whose enameling displays faint traces of rust. Two things bother the brave inspector: first, they long ago figured out, after the first hundred Cupboards, that with the House being so labyrinthine and mutable, they have no way of making sure they don't inspect the same one twice (even though there'd be “hell from [[Master of the House|above]]” if it became known that they had done so). Second, this water heater is “a forty-gallon job, quite possibly the cheapest one on the market” — and yet it's the only water they've seen in all their travels over the House. | |||
==== Chapter 57: The Spinning Room ==== | |||
[[The Spinning Room]] is described (in verse). It is hard to get to as its door is never in the same place twice, moving every second. As the name implies, it spins endlessly, with the only furniture being a chandelier which appears as just a blurred shimmer, and a device to keep the spinning movement from causing the room to spin out of its axis. The only figure in the Room who does not spin is [[the Room Keeper]]. | |||
==== Chapter 58: The Armory ==== | |||
Just off the corridor to [[the Guardroom]], a point-of-view character spots “two tall guardsmen holding tall halberds”, who snap to attention at the newcomer's arrival, but obediently pull open the “huge” double doors of [[the Guardroom]], simply telling him to “watch himself”. As he passes them, the visitor realises that they aren't holding halberds at all, but “oversized, elongated fountain pens”. Through the doors is “a vast space, filled by racks of pens of every description”. Welcomed by [[the Armourer]], an intimidating apron-wearing man with a [[hawk (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|hawk]] on his shoulder, the visitor hesitantly asks if there are any “actual weapons” in the room, and is stunned when the armourer pulls a nondescript ballpoint pen from his pocket only for it to transform before the visitor's eyes into a “large automatic rifle”. Grinning, the Armourer comments: “You know the saying about the pen and the sword — why not have both?”. | |||
==== Chapter 59: Room of Renewal ==== | |||
[[Robert Quick (in-universe)|A point-of-view character]] enters [[the Room of Renewal]], a serene shower room so vast that the walls are only visible in the distance, there is a blue sky above with fluffy white clouds, and the ground is covered with thick vines and broad, fan-shaped leaves, with round pools carved out of smooth brown stone and a “squiggly closed-loop river” with stylised wooden briges brooking it dotting the landscape. Though seeing no people around, the visitor notes the presence of a tray heaped with food, marked with a note reading “EAT ME!”. | |||
===== Appendix 59-I: Remnants and Reminders ===== | |||
In a prequel to the previous chapter, the visitor, revealed to be [[Robert Quick (in-universe)|one of the people]] who originally “dreamed up” [[the House]], is walking through a cream-coloured corridor when he is stopped in his tracks by “the sound of echoed laughter”. He is all the more surprised for the fact that he hadn't heard “any other voices than [his] own in a long time”, to the point of believing that the House was empty by now except for him. However, he hasn't ever been sure because the House is “connected to so many realities” — something which the creators of the House used to view as an advantage, but which was the reason there were “always dangers beyond our borders”; the survivor bitterly reflects that it's a wonder anyone survived at all. | |||
After musing that he hopes [[the Observatory]] is still keeping the bad guys at bay (whether they be [[Lovecraftian nightmare god]]s, steampunk pirates, [[zombie]]s, or other horrors), the survivor observes that a section of the hallway has been replaced with “a set of glass double-doors, the insides opaque”. After a moment's hesitation, he touches his palm to the glass, which is warm under the touch, and cracks the doors open. Steam escapes into the cool air, and, applying “a little more pressure”, the survivor opens them completely and steps inside. | |||
==== Chapter 60: The Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House ==== | |||
The [[Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|end]] of [[the Strange and Wonderful House]] has come: “all the artifacts ha[ve] been auctioned off, the [[ghost]]s ha[ve] all found other places to haunt, the alchemists ha[ve] moved their Great Work elsewhere”. The last two people to leave are [[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|Jenny Everywhere]] and a [[Dragon (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Dragon]], who watch forlornly as a bolt of lightning shoots down from the lead-coloured sky and strikes the House. A blue blame roars up and consumes the vast bulk of the House within moments, leaving nothing but ruins which crumble into [[the Tarn]]. After a long moment of silence, the Dragon declares: “So it goes. All things must have their time”, before asking Jenny if she “ha[s] taken everything [she] need[s]”. She nods and reveals what she came back for: a “[[House seed]]”, resembling a [[Christmas]] ornament. She tucks it into her pocket, remarking that she's sure she'll find some use for it someday. With no further ceremony, the two walk off elsewhere, leaving behind the silent shore of the Tarn. | |||
=== Worldbuilding=== | === Worldbuilding=== | ||
====Jenny Everywhere==== | ====Jenny Everywhere==== | ||
* Not being limited to a single sequential human lifetime, various incarnations of Jenny Everywhere both passed through the House and settled down to live within it. | * Not being limited to a single sequential human lifetime, various incarnations of Jenny Everywhere both passed through the House and settled down to live within it. | ||
* * [[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|One version]] was acquainted with [[the Architect]], who gave her an entire wing to turn into [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum]]. The Museum is visited and filled out by many other incarnations of Jenny, with only Jennies and those they vet being allowed in. | ** [[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|One version]] was acquainted with [[the Architect]], who gave her an entire wing to turn into [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum]]. The Museum is visited and filled out by many other incarnations of Jenny, with only Jennies and those they vet being allowed in. | ||
* * [[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|One version]] of Jenny was of humbler status within the House, interviewing to become one of its Maids. | ** [[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|One version]] of Jenny was of humbler status within the House, interviewing to become one of its Maids. | ||
* * A [[Jenny Everywhere's friend|friend of Jenny's]] (in an unspecified incarnation) was told about the House by Jenny in great detail prior to visiting it herself in [[#Chapter 51: The Doorbell|''The Doorbell'']]. | ** A [[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|friend of Jenny's]] (in an unspecified incarnation) was told about the House by Jenny in great detail prior to visiting it herself in [[#Chapter 51: The Doorbell?|''The Doorbell?'']]. | ||
* * Although she is never explicitly referred to as a Jenny, the [[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|“Guardian of the Ink Wells”]], also known as “Inkstain”, is “a small teenaged girl (…) dressed in a robe and aviator goggles”, and she has a [[Laura Drake#Treefrog|red-haired, freckled friend]] with whom she undergoes a teleportation misadventure. She states when asked that Inkstain is not her real name, but does not disclose the latter. | ** Although she is never explicitly referred to as a Jenny, the [[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|“Guardian of the Ink Wells”]], also known as “Inkstain”, is “a small teenaged girl (…) dressed in a robe and aviator goggles”, and she has a [[Laura Drake#Treefrog|red-haired, freckled friend]] with whom she undergoes a teleportation misadventure. She states when asked that Inkstain is not her real name, but does not disclose the latter. | ||
* * [[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|A Jenny]] witnesses the eventual fall of the house, later reappearing in the epilogue [[PROSE]]: ''[[Overgrown (short story)|Overgrown]]''. | ** [[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|A Jenny]] witnesses the eventual fall of the house, later reappearing in the epilogue [[PROSE]]: ''[[Overgrown (short story)|Overgrown]]''. | ||
====Laura Drake==== | ====Laura Drake==== | ||
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* Among other things, [[the Dining Room]] can appear as “the [[viking]] halls of [[Valhalla]]”, with a ceiling “thatched with golden shields”; as “a festival held in a vast [[Byzantium|Byzantine]] palace”; or as a pub where one might listen to [[Iron Maiden]]. One “may hear [[Whitesnake]] on the jukebox or a {{w|Skald|Skald}} reciting ''[[Grímnismál]]''”. | * Among other things, [[the Dining Room]] can appear as “the [[viking]] halls of [[Valhalla]]”, with a ceiling “thatched with golden shields”; as “a festival held in a vast [[Byzantium|Byzantine]] palace”; or as a pub where one might listen to [[Iron Maiden]]. One “may hear [[Whitesnake]] on the jukebox or a {{w|Skald|Skald}} reciting ''[[Grímnismál]]''”. | ||
* In [[the North West Attic]], [[Oggie]], [[Mila]] and the narrator find “a majestic coat of arms for something called [[League of Awesomeness|the League]]”. | * In [[the North West Attic]], [[Oggie]], [[Mila]] and the narrator find “a majestic coat of arms for something called [[League of Awesomeness|the League]]”. | ||
* The [[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|robot]] in [[the Basement]] has “[[Cold War]]-era bulbs in place of eyes”. | |||
=== Continuity === | === Continuity === | ||
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[[Category:Written by August 2nd]] | [[Category:Written by August 2nd]] | ||
[[Category:Written by Ludmila Yevgenovicha]] | [[Category:Written by Ludmila Yevgenovicha]] | ||
[[Category:Written by Nhrn]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Brokkoli]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Binky Lemontwist]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Fox Amongst Wolves]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Valen Lim]] | |||
[[Category:Written by McKennab]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Shu Sam Chen]] | |||
[[Category:Released in 2011]] | [[Category:Released in 2011]] | ||
[[Category:Featuring Jenny Everywhere]] | [[Category:Featuring Jenny Everywhere]] | ||
[[Category:Featuring Laura Drake]] | [[Category:Featuring Laura Drake]] | ||
[[Category:Featuring the Devil]] | [[Category:Featuring the Devil]] | ||
[[Category:Featuring Superman]] | |||
[[Category:Multi-Shifter Stories]] | |||
[[Category:Installments of 30 Days of Jenny]] | |||
