Jenny Everywhere's Twitter (2009 short story)

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Jenny Everywhere's Twitter was an in-character Twitter blog purporting to be that of an incarnation of Jenny Everywhere. Created in 2009, it ran for just over a year, and did not credit a writer, nor the artist who supplied the profile picture.

Contents

Plot

Jenny Everywhere makes a Twitter account, seemingly after being told to by a "four hundred pound space cow", proceeding to make several posts.

Worldbuilding

Jenny

  • In her bio, Jenny states that she exists in all possible realities, remarking "The multi-verse is mine!".
  • Jenny's location is set as "Everywhere".
  • Jenny claims that when she wants to just lay in bed and do nothing, she sends other Jennies to do work for her, which they hate.
  • Jenny claims that "The donut knows what it did.".
  • Jenny makes a post simply saying "mmm... toast.".
  • Realising she hadn't Tweeted in 16 days, Jenny claims that she'd like to say she was "busy fighting demons or swooning over supers", but that she was actually watching TV.

Universes

  • This story takes place in an unnamed universe.
  • Jenny claims that despite infinite dimensions at her fingertips, "still isn't anything good on television at eight in the morning".
  • Jenny mentions a universe where the Kardashians shoot laser beams out of their noses in Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
  • Jenny claims that "Mondays are hated throughout the multi-verse", but that people typically hate Frombeday more as "It's the start of the week AND you get slapped", although it only lasts five hours.
    • She later claims that she doesn't personally hate Mondays, as Bilfodays are "the worst".

Locations

  • Jenny claims to have "stood in a intersection where going left was North Main St. and going right was East Main St.", now knowing what to make of it.
  • Jenny claims to have once gotten a job as a deckhand on a "haunted interstellar spacecraft", thinking it would lead to "all sorts of fun", an assumption which turned out to be wrong.
  • Jenny winds up on a planet where she thinks it's 120 degrees in the shade, although she claims that it "isn't too bad", but that she could use a drink with a little umbrella.

Individuals

Species

  • Jenny claims that she considered writing something "really dirty" about frogs, but then remembered that frogs take such things "very seriously".
  • Jenny claims that there's "nothing wrong with being a chicken", aside from airline prices being "insane".
  • Jenny claims that you should never attempt to outdrink a Derringer Knight, as "They're made of 86% alcohol".

Games

Behind the scenes

Read online

This blog remains online on Twitter.