The Noodle Man

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The Noodle Man was an entity who existed within the Multiverse.

Description

Physical appearance

The Noodle Man was made of noodles; limp and soggy, warm and cooked. The Noodle Man's arm was made of "noodly filaments".

The Noodle Man wore a trenchcoat and fedora. (PROSE: The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China)

Personality

The Noodle Man was "a good person." (PROSE: The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China)

Powers and abilities

The Noodle Man was seemingly able to regenerate by being eaten, before bursting back out of his host. He was also able to travel between universes. (PROSE: The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China)

Biography

Xavier Llewellyn's universe

In one universe, the Noodle Man was the titular character of Arcbeatle Press' 2024 April Fool's Day anthology The Noodle Incident. The license was held by the Plummiest of the Puddings, who didn't give it to Xavier Llewellyn when they set about writing a "revenge fanfiction" after they weren't asked to write a story for the anthology. The Plummiest of the Puddings did approve of the idea though. (PROSE: The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China)

Lured to Xavier Llewellyn's universe

Using their knowledge of the Noodle Man's fictional counterpart, Xavier Llewellyn set about a plan to murder the real Noodle Man in revenge for Arcbeatle Press' actions. Xavier took a Pot Noodle out of their cupboard, emptying the noodles within onto the floor and repeatedly jumped up and down on them, and, with civility, began insulting, goading and cursing the Noodle Man, also claiming the smashed Pot Noodle was Noodle Wife for extra effect.

The Noodle Man entered Xavier's universe, first merely a single noodle that flopped to the floor, before a whole heap. He, in good faith, extended a hand to Xavier, seemingly understanding thst they hadn't just senselessly murdered Noodle Wife, but Xavier beat him with a blender before jumping up and down on his fedora. Xavier then grabbed the Noodle Man's head, smashing it against a wall, and then by the trenchcoat, spinning him around towards a pre-prepared pan of boiling water and plunging his head face first into the scolding contents. Xavier ignored the pain as their hand also was submerged while decapitating the Noodle Man with a knife. As the Noodle Man's head bubbled in the water and shifted to face Xavier, they spat at his face, disparing him for never saying "IT'S NOODLE TIME" and noodling everywhere and making a noodbillion dollars.

Sitting next to the Noodle Man's dead body, the adrenaline depleted from Xavier and they found themself becoming hungry, so they took the heat down to a simmer as they prepared a sweet and sour sauce and faux-egg. They ate the meal on their sofa, then taking a short nap. Xavier woke up, feeling a pain in their chest, noticed a pool of blood ooze into their shirt. They convulsed in pain before their brain shut off as their chest exploded, a fountain of bloodied noodles gushing out: Second Noodle Man II was born.

He introduced himself to the world — "MMMMM, IM SECOND NOODLE MAN II,.,.,..,.... YES, NOODLE NOODLE, MMMMMMMMM YEAH" — but then Earth was hit by a stray gamma-ray burst from another galaxy, ending all life on the planet (PROSE: The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China) and destroying all trace of life, turning the surface into "oceans of fire". However, as one Jenny Everywhere watched the destruction of Earth from within the safety of the Infinite, she saw how, somehow, a single noodle "modestly" kept afloat the lava. (PROSE: Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe)

Footnotes

Doctor Who-related concepts in Jenny Everywhere media
Individuals
AceAndroAuteurBibendumThe BrigadierPeri BrownIan ChestertonChris CwejDavrosDionusThe Doctor (Timeless ChildFirst DoctorSecond DoctorFourth DoctorSixth DoctorNth DoctorSeventh DoctorEighth DoctorLily Savage DoctorNinth DoctorTenth DoctorEleventh DoctorTwelfth DoctorThirteenth DoctorThe Female DoctorFourteenth DoctorFifteenth DoctorJudi Dench Doctor) • The Doctor's TARDISThe EnemyFabianJenny FlintJanis GoblinGoblin KingThe Great IntelligenceSusan ForemanJennyThe Man in BlackMissyGodfather MorlockThe Noodle ManAlice ObiefuneClara Oswald (Gallifreyan splinter) • Bill PottsRassilonSarah-Jane SmithStraxBernice SummerfieldRuby SundaySusitTecteunThe ToymakerPuff TremayneRose TylerVastraBarbara Wright
Species
DalekGoblinMenopteraPinguiShoboganSontaranTARDIS (Type 40 • Type 44) • Time LordVampireWeeping AngelZarbiZygon (Sygon)
Organisations
Chancellery Guard of GallifreyGallifreyan ChaptersGreat HousesFaction ParadoxMagpie ElectricalsSlitheenUNIT ("Intelligence Taskforce") • The Toymaker's legions
Locations
13 Paternoster RowThe AcademyConstellation of KasterborousDronidGallifreyThe Old WorkshopsPete's WorldSnowy planetThird UniverseUNIT towerThe Vault
Items
Gevity (Generic Energy Drink™Fezity) • Mega sonic death rayPsychic paperSonic screwdriverTime-Space Visualiser
Media
The Curse of Fatal DeathThe Daleks (Genesis of Evil) • Doctor Who (unnamed episode) • Doctor Who and the Completely Idiotic and Definitely Non-Canonical Attempt to Write...Doctor Who Discord serverFaction Paradox (Alien BodiesThe Book of the War) • The Infinity RassilonsJenny Says: Drink Gevity™!The Noodle IncidentNuke a Freaky Roblox City feat. Fezity™Tardis WikiTV Century 21 (issue #1) • Unnamed Fezity comic
Cast & crew
Colin BakerTom BakerCookieboy 2005Judi DenchWilliam HartnellLance Parkin (Percival Lankin)Joanna LumleyPaul MagrsSylvester McCoyLawrence MilesSteven MoffatTerry NationJon PertweePlum PuddingLily SavageDavid Tennant
Other
Artron energyBad WolfClearance level 1Complicated space-time eventThe Goblin SongGreat Cosmic War ("Last Great Cosmic Time War in Heaven") • Junior Time TechnicianRegenerationSutekh's dust of deathTime TechnicianThe UnravelValeyardWar in Heaven ("Last Great Cosmic Time War in Heaven")