Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg was the head of Facebook in at least one universe.

There, as purportedly related to Callum Phillpott by a “definitely real” friend of theirs who worke dat Facebook HQ, Zuckerberg's increasingly erratic behaviour between June 8th, 2019 and October 4th, 2021 was a recurring undercurrent to the strange, eldritch events which took place there over that length of time. At the 2019 Christmas party, for example, he stole yoghurt from the fridge. On March 4th, 2020, he “[ate] all the ham out of an employee’s ham sandwich, leaving behind the bread”.

In January 2021, when a funeral was held for the five employees who had disappeared over a year prior when Room 5B had disappeared, and whose bodies had been recovered — intact but dead — when the room reappeared, Zuckerberg attended the service. He witnessed one of the dead employees spontaneously getting up and babbling about the Man in Grey; when a living employee asked what that meant, Zuckerberg “fired them on the spot”. On March 5th, 2021, Zuckerbeg “glumly announce[d] over the intercom that Chuckzikkiushki ha[d] pulled out of funding”, following which events ramped up in intensity. On September 21st, after a mysterious mammalian rodent was found in the server room, Zuckerberg ordered “his imagineers” to do “thorough tests” on it to try and identify its species. On September 30th, as the mysterious events reached a crescendo, Zuckerberg was “caught carrying a fridge outside of the building”. (PROSE: What Went Down at Facebook)