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In [[Universe (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|one universe]], '''Xavier Llewellyn''' was a writer who attempted to murder [[Noodle Man]] in revenge after [[Arcbeatle Press (in-universe)|Arcbeatle Press]] didn't ask them to write a story for ''[[The Noodle Incident (in-universe)|The Noodle Incident]]''. While Xavier did successfully kill Noodle Man, [[Second Noodle Man II]] was reborn from inside Xavier, killing the writer in the process. | In [[Universe (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|one universe]], '''Xavier Llewellyn''' was a writer who attempted to murder [[the Noodle Man]] in revenge after [[Arcbeatle Press (in-universe)|Arcbeatle Press]] didn't ask them to write a story for ''[[The Noodle Incident (in-universe)|The Noodle Incident]]''. While Xavier did successfully kill the Noodle Man, [[Second Noodle Man II]] was reborn from inside Xavier, killing the writer in the process. | ||
== Description == | == Description == | ||
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== Biography == | == Biography == | ||
Xavier Llewellyn read half of ''[[The Noodle Incident (in-universe)|The Noodle Incident]]'' on their smartphone whilst sitting on a sofa. Offended that [[Arcbeatle Press (in-universe)|Arcbeatle Press]] failed to ask them to write a story, they firstly pivoted to thinking positively about the publishing group as they didn't want their initial thoughts of hate to remove any chance of future opportunities and to not get into legal trouble, before plotting to write a "[[The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (in-universe)|revenge fanfiction]]". Their concentration was broken by a stream of incoming messages on [[Discord]] from fans and writers of ''The Noodle Incident,'' all with suggestions; the [[Plummiest of the Puddings]], for one, approved of Xavier's usage of [[Noodle Man]] without actually licensing the character. | Xavier Llewellyn read half of ''[[The Noodle Incident (in-universe)|The Noodle Incident]]'' on their smartphone whilst sitting on a sofa. Offended that [[Arcbeatle Press (in-universe)|Arcbeatle Press]] failed to ask them to write a story, they firstly pivoted to thinking positively about the publishing group as they didn't want their initial thoughts of hate to remove any chance of future opportunities and to not get into legal trouble, before plotting to write a "[[The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (in-universe)|revenge fanfiction]]". Their concentration was broken by a stream of incoming messages on [[Discord]] from fans and writers of ''The Noodle Incident,'' all with suggestions; the [[Plummiest of the Puddings]], for one, approved of Xavier's usage of [[the Noodle Man]] without actually licensing the character. | ||
After this digression temporarily broke through the fourth wall, the universe Xavier inhabited and the universe in which you were reading this synced up and became confusing, thus Xavier began to make things up as they went along, contemplating adding in a joke about [[Ryan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Ryan]] and his [[Alan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|sentient roulette wheel Alan]] who read fan wikis, but they decided against it. Attempting to end their "crappy metafiction", and to stop writing the fanfiction and their plan of "vindictive vindictiveness" at the same time, Xavier focused on one goal: to kill [[Noodle Man]]. | After this digression temporarily broke through the fourth wall, the universe Xavier inhabited and the universe in which you were reading this synced up and became confusing, thus Xavier began to make things up as they went along, contemplating adding in a joke about [[Ryan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Ryan]] and his [[Alan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|sentient roulette wheel Alan]] who read fan wikis, but they decided against it. Attempting to end their "crappy metafiction", and to stop writing the fanfiction and their plan of "vindictive vindictiveness" at the same time, Xavier focused on one goal: to kill [[the Noodle Man]]. | ||
Xavier lured Noodle Man to their universe by repeatedly jumping up and down on the contents of a [[Pot Noodle]] which Xavier claimed was [[Noodle Wife]], all while calmly (and totally not angrily) goading, insulting and throwing obscenities at him; Noodle Man entered the universe as a pile of wet [[noodle]]s that fell to the floor, as Xavier sanely grinned maniacally. While Noodle Man extended a hand in good will, Xavier beat him with a blender before proceeding to jump up and down, once again, on Noodle Man's fedora. Xavier told Noodle Man to "respectfully [...] go f*ck himself" as they spun Noodle Man around and plunged his head into a pan of boiling water they had prepared early, severing Noodle Man's head with a knife all while blocking out the pain of their own hand being burned in the process. | Xavier lured the Noodle Man to their universe by repeatedly jumping up and down on the contents of a [[Pot Noodle]] which Xavier claimed was [[Noodle Wife]], all while calmly (and totally not angrily) goading, insulting and throwing obscenities at him; the Noodle Man entered the universe as a pile of wet [[noodle]]s that fell to the floor, as Xavier sanely grinned maniacally. While the Noodle Man extended a hand in good will, Xavier beat him with a blender before proceeding to jump up and down, once again, on the Noodle Man's fedora. Xavier told Noodle Man to "respectfully [...] go f*ck himself" as they spun the Noodle Man around and plunged his head into a pan of boiling water they had prepared early, severing the Noodle Man's head with a knife all while blocking out the pain of their own hand being burned in the process. | ||
As Noodle Man's head floated in the water, Xavier spat at it and condemned him for not saying "IT'S NOODLE TIME" and noodling everywhere and making a noodbillion dollars. Xavier then took Noodle Man's head off the boil and prepared it with a [[sweet and sour sauce]] and [[faux-egg]] as the adrenaline left their body. Xavier then awoke from a nap after their meal to a pain in their chest, watching in horror as blood seeped into their occult graphic t-shirt, their body then convulsing in pain until their brain shut off as their chest erupted with a geyser of bloodied noodles. | As the Noodle Man's head floated in the water, Xavier spat at it and condemned him for not saying "IT'S NOODLE TIME" and noodling everywhere and making a noodbillion dollars. Xavier then took the Noodle Man's head off the boil and prepared it with a [[sweet and sour sauce]] and [[faux-egg]] as the adrenaline left their body. Xavier then awoke from a nap after their meal to a pain in their chest, watching in horror as blood seeped into their occult graphic t-shirt, their body then convulsing in pain until their brain shut off as their chest erupted with a geyser of bloodied noodles. | ||
[[Second Noodle Man II]] was reborn. Yet, at that exact same time, a freak gamma-ray burst from another galaxy collided with Earth and ended all life, ([[PROSE]]: ''[[The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (short story)|The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China]]'') the surface of the world churning with fire and lava, with any trace of humanity being erased. However, a single noodle survived, as witnessed by [[Jenny Everywhere (Jenny Everywhere in: The Unofficial and Now Just Plainly Annoyingly Titled Sequel to...)|one Jenny Everywhere]] from within [[the Infinite]]. Jenny thought that the universe itself wanted to end Xavier's bullsh*t. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe (short story)|Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe]]'') | [[Second Noodle Man II]] was reborn. Yet, at that exact same time, a freak gamma-ray burst from another galaxy collided with Earth and ended all life, ([[PROSE]]: ''[[The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (short story)|The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China]]'') the surface of the world churning with fire and lava, with any trace of humanity being erased. However, a single noodle survived, as witnessed by [[Jenny Everywhere (Jenny Everywhere in: The Unofficial and Now Just Plainly Annoyingly Titled Sequel to...)|one Jenny Everywhere]] from within [[the Infinite]]. Jenny thought that the universe itself wanted to end Xavier's bullsh*t. ([[PROSE]]: ''[[Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe (short story)|Another Day, Another Ludicrous Universe]]'') |
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