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{{DISPLAYTITLE:''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' (novel)}}{{Short Story | |||
| title1=''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' | | title1=''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' | ||
| image1= Our Strange and Wonderful House - Final Cover.jpg | | image1= Our Strange and Wonderful House - Final Cover.jpg | ||
| caption1= | | caption1= | ||
| other_titles= | | other_titles= | ||
| featuring= [[The Architect]]<br>[[Federico Ruiz]]<br>[[Elshanor]]<br>[[Krully]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Pip]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]]<br>[[Brother (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed brother]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Ana]]<br>[[Rennik]]<br>[[Odin|Grímnir]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Guard (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed guard]] | | featuring= [[The Architect]]<br>[[Federico Ruiz]]<br>[[Elshanor]]<br>[[Krully]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Pip]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]]<br>[[Brother (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed brother]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Ana]]<br>[[Rennik]]<br>[[Odin|Grímnir]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Guard (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed guard]]<br>[[Imp (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Imp]]<br>[[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Mad Gardener]]<br>[[Grigori (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Grigori]]<br>[[President of Zimbabwe]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Rohinder]]<br>[[The Devil#Facing Rohinder|The Devil]]<br>[[John Milton]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Leonardo Da Vinci#On Earth-274|Leonardo Da Vinci]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Laura Drake#Lock of hair in the Museum|Laura Drake]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Elder God (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Elder God]]<br><small>(skull)</small><br>[[Kal-el (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Kal-el]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[The Lady in Mourning]]<br>[[Wandering mendicant (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed “wandering mendicant”]]<br>[[Master of the House|The Master of the House]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Mika]]<br>[[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]]<br>[[Mika's father]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Vincent Van Gogh]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Malthus]]<br>[[Mandy (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mandy]]<br>[[Christopher (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Christopher]]<br>[[Uncle Jack]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Montresor]]<br>[[Goblin King (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Goblin King]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Father Time]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Killer in the Mud Room]]<br>[[Master of the House's mistress|The Master of the House's mistress]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Master of the House's wife|The Master of the House's wife]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Figure in the Airing Cupboard|The Figure in the Airing Cupboard]]<br>[[Spamblodgett]]<br>[[Lally]]<br>[[Renderblat]]<br>[[Gravitcher]]<br>[[Head of Housekeeping|The Head of Housekeeping]]<br>[[Agrontus]]<br>[[Old zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed old zookeeper]]<br>[[Young zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed young zookeeper]]<br>[[Rondel]]<br>[[Rondel's father]]<br>[[Oggie]]<br>[[Mila]]<br>[[Luda]]<br>[[Seven]]<br>[[Six]]<br>[[Eight]]<br>[[Woman in the Painting|The Woman in the Painting]]<br><small>(painting; mentioned)</small><br>[[Man with the crimson cloak|The Man with the Crimson Cloak]]<br>[[Werepanda|The Werepanda]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Sid]]<br>[[I. T. Haze]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[The Bodhi Tree]]<br>[[The Bodhi Son]]<br>[[Loom weaver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed loom weaver]]<br>[[Carmen Sandiego|Carmen]]<br>[[Kid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed “kid”]]<br>[[Le Fox]]<br>[[Frank the Janitor]]<br>[[Personification of February|The personification of February]]<br>[[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed robot]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Maid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed Maid]]<br>[[Bridget (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Bridgets]]<br>[[Xafira (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Xafiras]]<br>[[Valerie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|The Valeries]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed friend of Jenny Everywhere's]]<br>[[The TARDIS]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Space marauder (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed space marauder]]<br><small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Oliver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Oliver]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|“Inkstain”]]<br>[[Laura Drake#Treefrog|“Treefrog"]]<br>[[The Librarian]]<br>[[The Room Keeper]]<br>[[The Armourer]]<br>[[Hawk (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unnamed hawk]]<br>[[Robert Quick (in-universe)|Robert Quick]]<br>[[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|Jenny Everywhere]]<br>[[Dragon (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Unidentified Dragon]] | ||
| setting= [[The Strange and Wonderful House]]<br>[[Hawk Manor]], [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]] | | setting= [[The Strange and Wonderful House]]<br>[[Hawk Manor]], [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]]<br>[[Mika]] and [[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]]'s house, [[Universe D (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|unnamed universe]] | ||
| length= 60 chapters<br>32 appendices | | length= 60 chapters<br>32 appendices | ||
| writer(s)= <small>'''''Welcome!'' | | writer(s)= <small>'''''Welcome!'', Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 56, & Appendices 18-I, 19-1, 32-II, 39-II, 39-III, 44-I, 55-I:'''</small><br>[[Zxvasdf]]<br><small>'''Chapters 5, 21, Appendices 19-I, 21-I, 27-III:'''</small><br>[[Elsha Hawk]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-I:'''</small><br>[[ALRO613]]<br><small>'''Appendix 5-II, Chapter 24:'''</small><br>[[R3mix]]<br><small>'''Chapters 6, 12, 13, Appendices 13-I, 13-IV, 13-V, 13-VI:'''</small><br>[[Jay Dee]]<br><small>'''Chapter 8:'''</small><br>[[H. S. Wift]]<br><small>'''Chapters 9, 10, 23, 29, 31, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 59, Appendices 38-I, 38-II, 39-I, 40-I, 40-II, 59-I:'''</small><br>[[Robert Quick]]<br><small>'''Chapters 11, 31, Appendices 13-II, 21-I:'''</small><br>[[THX 0477]]<br><small>'''Chapters 18, 19, 22, 33, 38, 46, 60, Appendices 13-III, 24-I, 24-II:'''</small><br>[[Jeanne Morningstar]]<br><small>'''Chapter 14:'''</small><br>[[Sir Bic]]<br><small>'''Chapters 15, 16, 17, Appendix 32-I:'''</small><br>[[Wednesday]]<br><small>'''Chapters 20, 45:'''</small><br>[[Memento]]<br><small>'''Chapter 26:'''</small><br>[[Cecilia Harper]]<br><small>'''Chapter 27:'''</small><br>[[MultiversalInk]]<br><small>'''Chapter 30, Appendixes 27-I, 27-II, 27-IV, 27-V:'''</small><br>[[August 2nd]]<br><small>'''Chapter 28:'''</small><br>[[32 Squared]]<br><small>'''Chapter 32:'''</small><br>[[Ludmila Yevgenovicha]]<br><small>'''Chapter 43, Appendix 43-I:'''</small><br>[[Nhrn]]<br><small>'''Chapter 44:'''</small><br>[[Brokkoli]]<br><small>'''Chapters 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 55:''':</small><br>[[Binky Lemontwist]]<br><small>'''Chapter 53:'''</small><br>[[Fox Amongst Wolves]]<br><small>'''Chapter 54:'''</small><br>[[Valen Lim]]<br><small>'''Chapter 57:'''</small><br>[[McKennab]]<br><small>'''Chapter 58:'''</small><br>[[Shu Sam Chen]] | ||
| artist(s)= | | artist(s)= | ||
| dates= May 27th, 2011 - September 10th, 2014 | | dates= May 27th, 2011 - September 10th, 2014 | ||
| original_link= [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/]<br>[https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house] | | original_link= [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/]<br>[https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house] | ||
}}'''''Our Strange and Wonderful House''''' was an experimental collaborative prose work created on [http://ficly.com Ficly] by a large number of writers, starting from a premise and format established by [[Zxvasdf]]. Although not conceived of as a novel at its inception, | | seriesnav = ''[[30 Days of Jenny (series)|30 Days of Jenny]]'' | ||
| previous = ''[[The Oubliette (short story)|The Oubliette]]'' | |||
| next = ''[[Writer’s Block, Redux, Again (short story)|Writer’s Block, Redux, Again]]'' | |||
}}'''''Our Strange and Wonderful House''''' was an experimental collaborative prose work created on [http://ficly.com Ficly] by a large number of writers, starting from a premise and format established by [[Zxvasdf]]. Although not conceived of as a novel at its inception, it was termed one by the foreword of the 2022 ebook edition, which was put together by [[Aristide Twain]]. Although she was not the main character, [[Jenny Everywhere]], in several incarnations, recurred several times through the book. | |||
Instead of any singular narrative, ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' was made up of a series of vignettes describing, or centering on, various areas of the titular sentient, impossibly vast, shifting [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Many, though by no means all, of its Chapters and Appendices were written in the second person, putting the reader in the shoes of an otherwise-unseen visitor exploring the house. We have elected not to give character pages to these figures, so as to avoid having to make judgment calls about the degree to which the | Instead of any singular narrative, ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' was made up of a series of vignettes describing, or centering on, various areas of the titular sentient, impossibly vast, shifting [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Many, though by no means all, of its Chapters and Appendices were written in the first and second person, putting either the writer or the reader in the shoes of an otherwise-unseen visitor exploring the house. We have elected not to give character pages to these figures, so as to avoid having to make judgment calls about the degree to which the ‘I’s and ‘You’s of various individual parts should be considered the same continuous character. | ||
==Contents== | ==Contents== | ||
| Line 71: | Line 74: | ||
The visitor enters the eerie jungle. Strewn about are panes of glass; through some of them beams of sunlight come to nourish the plant-life, while others are windows into other areas of the house. For example, one is the party in the “roughly-finished basement”, another is [[Elshanor|an elegant and studious woman]] strolling with melancholy through [[The Strange and Wonderful House#The Library|a “tattered” library]], and “a fantastical bacchanal led by a grinning [[imp (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|imp]]”. The visitor tries to refocus, making their best efforts to stay on the path, but suddenly a cackling voice finished a train of thought for them with the word “Mad!”. Without hesitation, the visitor identifies this as the voice of [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|the gardener]]. | The visitor enters the eerie jungle. Strewn about are panes of glass; through some of them beams of sunlight come to nourish the plant-life, while others are windows into other areas of the house. For example, one is the party in the “roughly-finished basement”, another is [[Elshanor|an elegant and studious woman]] strolling with melancholy through [[The Strange and Wonderful House#The Library|a “tattered” library]], and “a fantastical bacchanal led by a grinning [[imp (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|imp]]”. The visitor tries to refocus, making their best efforts to stay on the path, but suddenly a cackling voice finished a train of thought for them with the word “Mad!”. Without hesitation, the visitor identifies this as the voice of [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|the gardener]]. | ||
===== 13-III: Back to the Garden ===== | ===== Appendix 13-III: Back to the Garden ===== | ||
The visitor is being chased through the beautiful garden by the [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mad Gardener]], who wields a machete even as he sings in a “deep but strangely serene voice”. As they run, the visitor also catches a glimpse of the Gardener's reflection in one of the panes of glass — not an old man with a machete, but a a [[Angel|creature with a great many wings]] bearing a [[Flaming Sword|flaming sword]]. | The visitor is being chased through the beautiful garden by the [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mad Gardener]], who wields a machete even as he sings in a “deep but strangely serene voice”. As they run, the visitor also catches a glimpse of the Gardener's reflection in one of the panes of glass — not an old man with a machete, but a a [[Angel|creature with a great many wings]] bearing a [[Flaming Sword|flaming sword]]. | ||
===== 13-IV: The Madman ===== | ===== Appendix 13-IV: The Madman ===== | ||
Still chased by the [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mad Gardener]], the visitor takes a wrong turn and, running out of path, ends up reluctantly running out of the marked path and into the foliage. There, they soon reach a dead end, their way cut off by a wall of glass panels which soon reflect a vision of horror: the Mad Gardener's true angelic form morphing into a [[demon]]ic one. The Gardener manages to plant the machete in the chest of the visitor's body armour, though it holds and they are not injured. Keeping them on the ground, the Gardener yanks out the machete and prepares to behead the visitor. | |||
===== 13-V: The Saviour ===== | ===== Appendix 13-V: The Saviour ===== | ||
The [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mad Gardener]]'s machete blow is blocked unexpected by a steel spade held by another man who wears body armour under a long coat, “camouflaged with paints in green and brown and various twigs and leaves”. As they circle each other, dueling like swordsmen with their respective unlikely weapon, the Mad Gardener seems to recognise the other, whom he calls [[Grigori (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Grigori]]. The other angel replies that the Gardener has “succumbed to the madness”, and asks him to please surrender now rather than make this harder than it has to be. Naturally, the Gardener refuses, tackling Grigori with an animalistic shriek and attempting to stab him. | |||
===== 13-VI: The Gardener ===== | ===== Appendix 13-VI: The Gardener ===== | ||
Avoiding the [[Mad Gardener (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mad Gardener]]'s blows, [[Grigori (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Grigori]] beheads him before saying a few words over his body. Introducing himself as a Gardener himself, he then tells the baffled visitor to hurry away with him, lest they fall pray to other entities who might be attracted by the scent of blood. | |||
==== 14: I Am An Athenaeum ==== | ==== Chapter 14: I Am An Athenaeum ==== | ||
In verse rather than prose, an [[Athenaeum]] describes its own nature and function in the first person — where a library is a place for reading, an athenaeum is a place of social learning. The athenaeum of the House is implied to connect to all others, in the fashion of Pratchett’s [https://wiki.lspace.org/L-space L-Space]. | |||
==== 15: The Stairwell ==== | ==== Chapter 15: The Stairwell ==== | ||
[[The Stairwell]], a spiral staircase starting near the front door and going upwards, is described. These stairs, built when the [[President of Zimbabwe|President]] of [[Zimbabwe]] complained about the lack of stairs and opened on “the first day of Spring”, pass through “an infinite number of portals, spanning the width and depth of the house”. The supports are in the shape of animal limbs, and each stone step represents a [[ley line]]. Every four steps is a doorway. The doors go up to the front door of [[the Attic]], but they also go beyond it — and at the very top, there is a golden gate surrounded by “dry ice tended to by the very highest of the [[goblin]]s”. It is closed, and a sign hanging from the padlock states: “''If you have made it here, then you only deserve to fall, for a life wasted is not a life lived in Good.''”. | |||
==== 16: The Throne Room ==== | ==== Chapter 16: The Throne Room ==== | ||
Having followed the portals, [[Elshanor]] arrives in [[the Throne Room]], where fifty diverse thrones sit against three of the four stone walls. She immediately recognises the throne meant for her, a silver-set, royal-blue-velvet-padded one. As soon as she sits down, her throne becomes the head throne, and a [[man (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|man]] is sent through as a disembodied voice explains that he stole waters from the [[Fountain of Youth]] and calls on Elshanor to judge him. Two buttons, one white and one red, have appeared on the arm-rests. She looks and into his eyes chooses the red, for guilt. A portal opens beneath the man's feet and he plummets into [[Pandemonium]]. | |||
==== 17: Portal to Pandemonium ==== | ==== Chapter 17: The Portal to Pandemonium ==== | ||
Rohinder, judged in the previous chapter, falls through | [[Rohinder]], judged in the previous chapter, falls through the portal and ends up in the middle of the great, golden hall of [[Pandemonium]], which he finds to be “just as [[John Milton|Milton]] described it”. Through “black fire light” he sees another throne, higher and golden, and sitting within it “[[The Devil#Facing Rohinder|the most beautiful and deadly angel anyone had ever cast eyes on]]”, who booms: “So your judgement has been placed? Well, I suppose that now it is time for your punishment.” | ||
==== 18: The Jenny Everywhere Museum ==== | ==== Chapter 18: The Jenny Everywhere Museum ==== | ||
[[The Jenny Everywhere Museum]] is described. It is a wing of the House that was set aside for [[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|Jenny Everywhere]] by [[the Architect]] itself to use as a museum for herselves and her friends – and, possibly, as a storeroom for random junk she may have acquired while wandering the universes. “Known contents” are said to include: | |||
* Statues of friends, companions and family of Jenny from throughout the worlds. | |||
* Three [[perpetual motion machine]]s. | |||
* A copy of the [[Voynich Manuscript]], annotated in “a completely different alien language from the manuscript itself”. | |||
* A [[miniature city]] preserved from “[[Dead world (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a dead world]]”. | |||
* A key to the [[gate of Eromreven]]. | |||
* A [[battlesuit]] from the [[Third War of Ascension]] on [[Earth-33]]. | |||
* A portrait of Jenny painted by [[Leonardo Da Vinci#On Earth-274|Leonardo Da Vinci]] in the 19th century on [[Earth-274]], where Da Vinci became a [[vampire]]. | |||
* A floating pirate ship. | |||
* A “maze of twisty little passages, all alike”. | |||
* A zoo with various endangered species including [[unicorn]]s, [[vegetable lamb]]s and [[giant balloon animal]]s. | |||
* A [[Laura Drake#Lock of hair in the Museum|lock of red hair]]. | |||
* The skull of an [[Elder God (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Elder God]]. | |||
* An item marked simply as [REDACTED]. | |||
===== Appendix 18-I: The Jenny Everywhere Museum (cont'd) ===== | |||
Two further items within [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum|the Museum]] are listed. The first is “[[Bottle universe (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a bottle filled with a miniature universe]]” containing the story of [[Kal-el (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Kal-el]]. The second is a computer linked to [[Universe C (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|“our” universe]]'s Internet, allowing her to set up her own website, [[Ficly|ficly.com]]. | |||
==== | ==== Chapter 19: The Ruined Chapel ==== | ||
[[The Ruined Chapel]] is described. It may be accessed by leaving the House proper by “the back door of [[the Conservatory]]” and taking the path between [[the Dark Wood]] and [[the Tarn]]. There, before its altar bearing a statue of a headless, hands-less woman, is [[the Lady in Mourning]], a mysterious, ghostly figure in perpetual grief, wearing a black veil that goes down to her feet. To a visitor who distracts her from her despair via something like a story or a song, she will answer any question, except for her name. The altar is surrounded by ashes that are all that is left of visitors who looked upon her unveiled face — for every night, at midnight, she lifts it up to cry out “Woe unto they who once stood on high! Their temples are in ruins and their names are forgotten.”. | |||
''( Chapter | ===== Appendix 19-I: The Right Wrong Questions ===== | ||
=== | An old, [[wandering mendicant (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|wandering mendicant]] in dusty, tattered clothing, evidence of “a long and arduous journey”, comes to [[the Ruined Chapel|the narthex]] and impresses [[the Lady in Mourning]] with a “beautiful and haunting song of despair and decay” before kneeling and asking her if her name is “Catherine”. She answers no, he sings another song, asks her if her name is “Osceola”, and so on and so forth as he peacefully spends the last years of his life trying to find out the Lady's name, retreating each night around midnight (when she unveils so lethally) to gather food and drink from the wilds near [[the Tarn]]. Eventually, he passes away, a last “smiling” question on his lips. At midnight, the Lady, instead of her usual refrains, looks up towards the stars to sing “a song of hope and dreams”. The next morning, the Chapel has lost its aura of melancholy, and the Lady in Mourning has gone, as has the statue on the altar. | ||
====Jenny Everywhere==== | |||
==== Chapter 20: The Stationery Room ==== | |||
[[The Stationery Room]], accessible only to the [[Master of the House]] and those to whom he gives permission, is described. Unlike many other rooms in the House, which are “fluid in their relative locations”, the Stationery (or Station''a''ry) Room always exists at the center of “an imaginary line between [[the Master Bedroom]] and [[the Gatehouse]], always maintaining equal distance from the two”. The Room itself is “somewhat small”, with a single desk sitting in the center, facing the door. At its back is a window covered by heavy curtains, and all the walls are covered in bookshelves and, in one carner, a large cabinet. The desk contains an infinite supply of “papers, envelopes, inks, pens and waxes”. | |||
==== Chapter 21: Elevator ==== | |||
Until recently, [[The Strange and Wonderful House|the House]] did not have an elevator, but [[the Great Glass Elevator]] has crashed into [[the west garden]] and the sentient House interprets it as a donation, gearing up to absorb the elevator into itself by opening various doorways into empty elevator shafts. Despite the objections of the [[goblin]]s who guard [[the Stairwell]], work by the [[lawn gnome]]s to repair the Elevator and install it in the House is well underway, and the House's excitement is such that it is “buzzing with excitement and creaking with worry, lurching, stretching, and then settling” to unprecedented degrees; “there is a continuous seance on [[the 7th floor]] to keep [[spirit]]s and [[demon]]s out of closets and cupboards”. | |||
===== Appendix 21-I: Very Small Assault ===== | |||
While having tea with his mother [[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]], a boy called [[Mika]] notices the presence of a number of animate [[lawn gnome]]s crossing their lawn, which disturbs him and Hattie all the more when Hattie reminds him that they've never owned any lawn gnomes, as [[Mika's father]] thought they were “a quaint but equally low class alternative to pink, plastic flamingos”. | |||
===== Appendix 21-II: A Very Pink Assault ===== | |||
[[Mika]] and [[Hattie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Hattie]], eavesdropping through their windows, hear the [[lawn gnome]]s taking a phone call, and are relieved to hear that the gnomes are leaving their garden, having been contracted to go repair an elevator somewhere. However, their liberation is short-lived as Mika notices the neighbours' plastic flamingos are starting to move. | |||
==== Chapter 22: The Gallery ==== | |||
[[The Gallery]] is described. It can be entered through ornate wooden doors beneath “the stained glass window showing the birds from which the [[Seven Noble Houses]] take their names”. It contains works of art from various styles, time periods and universes, presented in no particular order — including “photographs of poor children in a city that is almost but not quite [[London|Victorian London]]”, “pages from a medieval manuscript portraying impossible beasts”, “a Cubist painting showing the depths of [[Hell]]”, and “a painting [[Vincent Van Gogh|Van Gogh]] never made in this world”. The “armed statues in every style imaginable” which adorn the hallways, on the other hand, are not part of the exhibit: they are instead “the guards of the Gallery”, who “bring swift death to any who attempt to steal from it”. Deep in the Gallery, any visitor will find a room with paintings depicting key moments of their own life, including a painting of their own death at the far end of the room. “Few have the courage to venture this far.” | |||
==== Chapter 23: The Rose Cottage ==== | |||
[[Malthus]], a mysterious, lonely man, waits in the very cold room where he lingers and which he oversees although it “isn't really his”. Rubbing absently at [[Malthus's Ring|his silver ring]], he notices that the engraving has changed to an image of a stork in flight, as it always does to warn him of an impending arrival. Malthus is inwardly happy, as he always loves meeting new people, “but he [is] also aware of the fact that no one ever [finds] their way to [[the morgue]] by accident”. | |||
==== Chapter 24: The Cellar ==== | |||
Young siblings [[Mandy (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mandy]] and [[Christopher (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Christopher]] sneak into [[the Cellar]] despite their [[Uncle Jack]] forbidding it. Despite Christopher hearing strange noises and wanting to leave, Mandy takes a wine bottle from one of the shelves. Chris tries to wrestle it from her to make her put it back, and causes her to drop it instead, with it shattering. The two instantly realise that the liquid isn't wine, and the door slams shut, seemingly of its own accord. | |||
===== Appendix 24-I: Montresor ===== | |||
The supernatural fumes of the wine plunge [[Christopher (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Christopher]] in a hallucination where he is a bold and bloodthirsty pirate going on adventures. He is pulled out of the daydream by the voice of a dubiously-human old man who describes himself as [[Montresor]], [[Keeper of the Cellar]]. Montresor explains that the wines in the Cellar are distilled from memories, and is apoplectic at them having spilled the pirate wine, as the [[Master of the House]] had personally requested it for his imminent negotiations with the [[Goblin King (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Goblin King]]. As penance, he orders the children to find another legendary pirate and get memories out of him, and then “take them to [[Father Time]]'s [[Father Time's attic|attic]] to be aged” — threatening to feed them to the giant rats who also dwell in the Cellar if they don't comply. | |||
===== Appendix 24-II: The First Step ===== | |||
Regaining their poise, [[Christopher (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Christopher]] and [[Mandy (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Mandy]] complain that they have no idea how to even begin to find a legendary pirate, let alone collect his memories. Smelling that he has potential for [[magic]], [[Montresor]] takes Chris by the hand to another part of the room and pours him a glass of midnight-blue liquid from a bottle whose label depicts a [[wizard]]. He drinks it and finds his mind “flooded with magic”. | |||
==== Chapter 25: Mud Room ==== | |||
The incoherent first-person perspective of the [[Killer in the Mud Room|yellow-raincoat-wearing serial killer]] who haunts [[the Mud Room]] is given as they look back on how they got their taste for murdering people in the rain, and begin to chase a new, female victim. They do not appear to realise they are inside a room of the House rather than actually outdoors. | |||
==== Chapter 26: The Airing Cupboard ==== | |||
[[The Airing Cupboard]] located on [[the fourth floor]] down [[the east wing]] has a terrible secret. It ceased to be used as an actual airing cupboard a century ago, when a parlour maid “discovered its true nature”, which prompted “the [[Master of the House]] at that time” to conceal the entrance by placing a life-sized portrait of [[Master of the House's mistress|his mistress]] over it. Reportedly, his [[Master of the House's wife|wife]] was so outraged she left [[The Strange and Wonderful House|the House]] forever, moving to the continent, only to die of jealousy “a mere fortnight after”. | |||
Now, the door is uncovered once again as part of the preparations for “the coming of [[The Great Glass Elevator|the elevator]]”. The first visitor to take notice of the door pulls it open and is greeted with “the unexpected scents of lavender and lye soap laid over a base tang of copper”. A [[Figure in the Airing Cupboard|mysterious figure wearing a “peculiar” Victorian nightdress]] is sitting in a corner; greeting the visitor with “Darling! You've been so long!”, it closes its arms tightly around him, locking him into place. | |||
==== Chapter 27: The Lab ==== | |||
[[The Laboratory]] is described. Located “dangerously close to [[the Kitchen]]”, it is bigger on the inside thanks to its [[space expander]]s (one of the first things invented in what started out as a repurposed cupboard) and home to the [[Artifector]]s, who “spend their days thinking up new ways to make life for the residents of [[the Mansion]] easier — or harder, if they feel like it”. Inventions stored in the Laboratory include various time-travel devices, “a prototype for an innovative [[bee]]-based mode of transport”, equipment for measuring “luck, rubber band elasticity and sense of humour”, unfinished blueprints for an [[anti-procrastination device]], a [[Shiny Object Locator]] which has been misplaced, and various [[thinking cap]]s. Besides all these hallmarks of mad science, there is “a little corner dedicated to non-mad science” which sees very little use. | |||
===== Appendix 27-I: The Lab: The Alarum Goes Off ===== | |||
In [[the Laboratory]] is [[the Alarum|what appears]] to be “a large, handsome cabinet, crafted from fine lignea”. Suddenly, its door opens from the inside, and a dazed young woman answering to the name of [[Lally]] staggers out. She is confused by where “the others” have gone, and identifies herself as a member of [[Housekeeping]]. Recognising what this means, one of the [[Artifector]]s, [[Spamblodgett]], who'd been working on “designing a new invention for the burning of [[toast]]”, rouses another Artifector, [[Renderblat]], who's apparently been napping long enough for a layer of dust to settle onto him, by throwing a [[bezoar]] at him. While “the timeline changes over” and Lally begins to dissipate from this time-zone, Renderblat hurriedly locks and reinforces the door, just in time as “a gaggle of woman” make their presence known in the hallway and helplessly rattle the doorknob. | |||
===== Appendix 27-II: The Lab: Setting The Alarum ===== | |||
In the old timeline, the all-female [[Housekeeping]] crew take the [[Artifector]]s by surprise. Flinging the door open, they burst in, armed with cleaning implements, and the [[Head of Housekeeping]] confronts lead artifector [[Gravitcher]], reminding him that she and her department are “tasked by the [[Master of the House|Masters]] of this abode with cleaning each and every room at least once a year”. The cleaners begin to spread out through the room, cleaning and, to the artifectors' horror, ''moving'' various objects. [[Spamblodgett]] coaxes [[Lally|one “buxom young woman”]] into cleaning the interior of [[The Alarum|a cabinet]], however, and, after closing it with her inside, sets certain dials to “Five minutes ago” before activating it with the pressing of a button. | |||
===== Appendix 27-III: Heebie Jeebies ===== | |||
Still hiding in the bathroom of [[the Library (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|the Library]], [[Elshanor]] gets an SOS on her pager from the [[Artifector]]s. Unwilling to cross the Library again due to the ominous creaking sound she heard there, she instead lifts up a ceiling tile and hoists herself up to the floor above. The room turns out to be [[the sideways room]], where the red-eyed [[Hares In Charge of All Vegetation]] are having a meeting. Curtsying apologetically as she slides down, she avoids the rabbit-hole exit and instead makes for the plain wooden door. Exiting back into a corridor where gravity works correctly, where she runs into the [[Housekeeping]] party, who've had male reinforcements but still can't break into [[the Laboratory]]. Elshanor convinces them to go clean the Library instead of insisting on the Lab. | |||
===== Appendix 27-IV: The Lab: The Perpetual Motion Machine (Part 1) ===== | |||
The [[Perpetual Motion Machine]] which sits in [[the Laboratory]] is described, and its origins are disclosed. The PPM, which uselessly goes “''ing-whoomp''” every eight minutes, was not commissioned by [[the Strange and Wonderful House|the House]], which “had long since learned that requests were fastidiously ignored and trying to guide the [[artifector]]s was akin to shearing a flock of cats”, but rather, was invented as a dare. The first prototype was created by then-lead artifector [[Agrontus]] and brutally killed him when he tried to switch it off, leading to the appointment of [[Gravitcher]]. | |||
===== Appendix 27-V: The Lab: The Perpetual Motion Machine (Part 2) ===== | |||
The second half of the [[Perpetual Motion Machine]]'s history is recounted. Now confident that the idea could work in theory, the [[Artifector]]s studied various ways to implement it without blowing themselves up like [[Agrontus]], such as running a network of wires around [[the Strange and Wonderful House|the House]], “the first time in many years that any of them had seen any part of the House except for their own exclusive corner of it”, and creating a number of devices intended to siphon power from the House's network, one of which was later repurposed into a tea kettle. Eventually, they made it work at the cost of having to create a whole new tower and a permanent lightning storm. | |||
==== Chapter 28: A Veranda With A View ==== | |||
From an unambiguous perspective, a pleasant afternoon in [[the Veranda]], where a number of women are busy cooking something, is described. | |||
==== Chapter 29: The Zoo ==== | |||
A [[Young zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|newly-recruited zookeeper]] for [[the Zoo]] of [[the Strange and Wonderful House]] meets up with an [[old zookeeper (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|old zookeeper]] for her first shift. She is surprised to find that the “Zoo” has no walled-off areas or bars, and is instead one huge, expansive landscape, complete with a rising sun over the horizon and rosy clouds in the sky. The old zookeeper explains that it's “more of a preserve” and walks her over to a jeep, where she is surprised to find a stack of fantasy novels on the backseat, which the old zookeeper claims are “homework for the rest of [her] life”. When the young zookeeper voices her confusion, he asks her how else she expects to learn “the difference between a [[Boojum]] and a [[Snark]]”, “where to tickle a [[Cthonian]]”, or “what to do to keep [[Grue]]s away”. Before she can reply, he prompts her to get in already, as it's feeding time and they have “a long journey” ahead of them. | |||
==== Chapter 30: The Great South Gate ==== | |||
In the world directly outside [[the Strange and Wonderful House]], it is [[Harvest Day]], meaning that a procession from the outlying rural towns brings the House provisions for the winter with great pomp and circumstance. This year, the House has also “asked for children between the ages of 6 and 12 to be surrendered for service in the [[Household Staff]]”. Accompanying [[Rondel's father|his father]], the current [[Master of the Fields]], twelve-year-old boy [[Rondel]] passes with him through the ebony doors of [[the Great South Gate]], little knowing that he will himself be selected for this office. | |||
==== Chapter 31: The North West Attic ==== | |||
A small group including [[Mila]], [[Oggie]] and the narrator are searching [[the North West Attic]] for something, a matter that is apparently of some urgency. They come across a group of blue mice led by a large pink one, as well as many strange objects, but despite Mila's apprehension, the three continue searching, and decide to split up. With Mila continuing to be reluctant, the narrator grabs her by the hand and actively pulls her along to search one of the dark corners. | |||
==== Chapter 32: The Foyer ==== | |||
[[Luda]] is irritated to find herself back in [[the Foyer]], and surprised when a mysterious girl appears from behind the enormous coat rack, asking for “the way in”; when Luda expresses confusion, she explains that she “doesn't know how to start a visit, only how to end it”; she “only know[s] the first line, you know. The first and the finish”. Luda asks how it starts, then, and a moment after disappearing through the door, the girl knocks at it again. Luda, who'd been sitting down and untying her shoes, gets up again to answer it. The girl introduces herself as [[Seven]] and asks again if she might come in. | |||
===== Appendix 32-I: Foyer Infinity ===== | |||
When [[Seven]] came to [[the Foyer]] for the first time, she was preceded by [[Six]], who was leery of Seven for [https://explainthejoke.com/2013/01/24/7-8-9/ some reason]. Entering the Foyer, Six had much the same exchange with a boy called [[Eight]] that Seven will soon have with Luda. When Eight ducks out and then knocks to come back, however, he finds that Six is no longer in the room. Seven, grinning, pretends not to know who he's asking about. | |||
===== Appendix 32-II: Reiterate the Foyer ===== | |||
A third, even earlier instance of the same encounter is depicted, this time with [[Six]] as the mystery girl already in the Foyer who says they only know the first line of how to come in. | |||
==== Chapter 33: The Painting ==== | |||
[[The Painting]] is described. The most famous work of art in [[the Gallery]], seeming realer than reality, it depicts a [[Woman in the Painting|woman dressed in blue]], standing by the seashore, staring into the distance as the sun “rises, or perhaps sets”. It cannot be photographed, and all who see it give different descriptions of the woman besides the colour of her dress, only agreeing that she is “the most beautiful woman who ever lived”. Some believe that it depicts the woman [[the Architect]] loved and that the Architect painted it for her, only for her to spurn him; in spite he drowned himself in [[the Tarn]] and cursed it. However, “those who study the House's history” hold that this is a fabrication and the curse of the Tarn predates [[the Strange and Wonderful House|the House]]. Seeing the Painting fills one with a “deep longing that will haunt [one] to [one's] grave”, although that is sometimes a blessing, as this more powerful but perhaps less toxic melancholy can replace a preexisting despair or grief in the hearts of some. | |||
==== Chapter 34: The Ballroom ==== | |||
[[The Ballroom]] and the rituals that surround it are described. The room itself is a “beautiful and elegant place” lit by globes of light floating through the air, which eerie music coming from a distance and musicians nowhere in sight. Every month, a [[Man with the crimson cloak|man with a crimson cloak]] distributes invitations to everyone in the House he encounters: “rich and poor, natives and visitors, human and otherwise”. There is a [[The storage room|storage room]] near the Ballroom, from which visitors can freely choose a mask, such as “a knight, a gentleman, a harlequin, a monster”, or indeed, if one is already a monster, “an ordinary human being”. However, those who linger too long in the Ballroom start to take on qualities of their chosen mask, until they lose their original identity altogether. | |||
==== Chapter 35: Into the Gardens (Part 1) ==== | |||
Feeling irritated and wanting to be alone after an argument, [[Master of the House|a man]] hurries through [[the Sun Room]] and out of the House. Passing the signs for [[the Tree House]] and [[the Southern Veranda]], he follows the sign pointing to [[the Gardens]], ignoring the secondary wooden sign nailed to the bottom of the first which reads “Domain of the [[Werepanda]] — beware!”. Annoyed at being told what to do, the man decisively steps off the brown tile and into the gardens proper. He is immediately confronted with a [[Sid|stocky Asian man holding a broom]] who appears out of thin air and greets him with the words “Be welcome”. | |||
==== Chapter 36: Into the Gardens (Part 2) ==== | |||
After [[Master of the House|the visitor]] returns his bow, the [[Sid|strange man]] props his broom against a tree and muses that he had expected that the visitor would try to find solace at [[the Dojo]] rather than [[the Gardens]]. When the visitor expresses confusion, never having heard of “the Dojo”, the strange man cryptically states that this must be because it “hasn't been thought of yet”, remarking that “time is flexible [[The Strange and Wonderful House|here]]”. He invites the visitor to take a tour of the Gardens with him, enticing him with the promise that it will end with having tea in the shade of [[the Bodhi Tree]]. His irritation melting away, replaced by curiosity, the man accepts the offer. | |||
==== Chapter 37: The Secrets of Our Gardens (Part 1) ==== | |||
The old man, who gives his name as [[Sid]], continues to lead [[Master of the House|the visitor]] through the winding paths that criss-cross [[the Gardens]]. After passing a path that leads to [[the Topiary Veranda]], they reach the entrance of [[the hedge maze]] designed by [[I. T. Haze]]. | |||
==== Chapter 38: The Secrets of Our Gardens (Part 2: Accursed Springs) ==== | |||
When [[Sid]] shows [[Master of the House|his charge]] “[[the training ground of accursed springs]]”, he expresses surprise at such a seemingly malevolent thing being part of [[the Strange and Wonderful House|House]]. Sid tuts at his “mistaken impression that the House is essentially good”: built “on ground that once belonged to [[Faerie]] and made from their wood, (…) something of Faerie still remains within it”. It's all dangerous, “even the ‘good’ parts”, with [[the hedge maze]] being “infested by [[topiary minotaur]]s” and the patterns of light cast by the stained glass windows being liable to teach people “the secret of the universe” and making them go insane, to say nothing of “[[the Spring of Drowned Zombie]]”. Sid adds that “even worse, like many new writers, you think you’re in control of every part of the story”; when the visitor replies that “we” did in fact “make” the House, Sid cryptically implies that this is a limited perspective. They continue walking and find themselves in a landscape which the visitor believed to be “in [[China]], or [[Japan]]”, to which Sid replies that “all three are correct, depending on your perspective”. The visitor suddenly feels calmer and realises that in the distance, he can now glimpse the towering form of [[the Bodhi Tree]]. | |||
===== Appendix 38-I: A Return to Innocence ===== | |||
[[Master of the House|The visitor]] approaches [[the Bodhi Tree]] and is surprised that [[Sid]] stays behind, telling him that the last few steps are “his own”. He briefly grows suspicious, but the idyllic, childlike peace that seems to surround the Tree convinces him to walk on ahead, even kicking off his shoes to finish the journey barefoot. | |||
===== Appendix 38-II: The Pain of Rebirth ===== | |||
As he reaches the centre of the area, [[Master of the House|the visitor]] is overcome with a sense of cosmic love that brings him to his knees at the base of [[the Bodhi Tree|the Tree]], tears welling in his eyes, expelling all his feelings of “unworthiness, self-hate and guilt”. When he finishes crying, feeling a new man, he asks if it's “always like that”. Though finds no one there to answer, he feels at peace and increasingly certain that he feels not just good, but great — “fully rested, at peace, and ready for anything”: ready to “change the world”. | |||
==== Chapter 39: The Bodhi Tree ==== | |||
Having finished with his own rebirth, [[Master of the House|the visitor]] rolls over his back to consider [[the Bodhi Tree]] itself, huge and indescribably beautiful. He brushes a hand against the bark and suddenly finds his mind brushing against the “tentative, feathery presence” of the Tree itself, getting a glimpse of its ageless perspective on the world around it. | |||
===== Appendix 39-I: Wake to Dream Again ===== | |||
[[Master of the House|The visitor]] finds [[Sid]] again, with Sid telling him that he must now choose whether he will stay by [[the Bodhi Tree]]'s side indefinitely, or return to his normal life, at the cost of the humdrum complications of everyday life slowly chipping away at his enlightenment until he has all but forgotten what he really found here. The visitor seems to accept this, but finds it unfair. | |||
===== Appendix 39-II: The Will of the Creator ===== | |||
The visitor suddenly realises that he has chosen to go back to [[the Bodhi Tree]] an incalculable amount of times, each time returning and being given the choice again by [[Sid]]. Sid has been patiently waiting for him to choose the other option. The visitor compliments him as having “the patience of an [[angel]]”, to which Sid replies: “I am but the will of [[the Architect|my Creator]]”. The visitor announces that he is ready, and Sid extends his hands with the words: “[[the Manor]] awaits its Lord”, identifying the visitor as the [[Master of the House]]. As “memories the size of a million eternally propagating [[multiversal cluster|multiverses]]” come crashing back into his mind “like a vicious tide”, he realises, grinning, that he is “on the infinity kick again”. He thanks Sid, joking that “the end of [his] vacation is just the beginning of [Sid's]”. | |||
===== Appendix 39-III: The Bodhi Son ===== | |||
A man is found lying against [[the Bodhi Tree]]'s trunk, nestled between two roots. A “beard of many months' growth” curls in his lap, but though he appears to be sleeping his piercing blue eyes are wide open. Locals start calling him [[the Bodhi Son]], and he ends up becoming the focus of a religious cult which places candle prayers at his feet. Over time, a cathedral of stone and wood is built against the contours of the Tree. Through all of this, the Son neither moves nor ages. Eventually, tragedy strikes, a great fire consuming the cathedral and Tree both; the Son is unharmed, but tears trail down his sooty face. When the Bodhi Tree finally dies, he blinks awake, his eyes now green as the Tree's leaves once were. | |||
==== Chapter 40: The Cheshire (Part 1) ==== | |||
A visitor finds himself faced with [[the Cheshire|an elevator]] unlike any he's seen before: its doors are “covered in blue fur with a jagged purple stripe across the middle”. The doors slide open at his approach, and he finds that the interior is strangely normal — until he tries to press the button for [[the third floor]] and ''misses'', finding that the buttons keep moving around and, in some cases, disappearing and reappearing. While he's still studying the controls, a chime rings out and the doors begin to slide shut. | |||
===== Appendix 40-I: The Cheshire (Part 2) ===== | |||
Suddenly, a woman arrives, shouting for him to hold the doors open long enough for her to come in too. The visitor acquiesces, sticking his hand in the narrowing crevice to force the doors to recede again. The newcomer is a [[Carmen Sandiego|dark-haired young woman]] wearing a long red coat and matching hat, who says she does not care which floor they go to, so long as it's away from the current one. When she sees the first visitor struggling with the appearing and reappearing button, she admonishes the elevator aloud, calling it “[[The Cheshire Cat|Cheshire]]”. When the visitor expresses confusion, she explains that it is “a mystic elevator” which can go “anywhere in the house”, which she likes to call “[[the Cheshire]]”. It has a very definite personality, and is purposefully “messing” with the visitor out of mischief. The visitor uncertainly strokes the wall, and a contented purr erupts in reply. | |||
===== Appendix 40-II: The Cheshire Cat (Part 3) ===== | |||
Laughing, the woman introduces herself as [[Carmen Sandiego|Carmen]], an “international and temporal thief”, and holds out a hand for the visitor to shake. The visitor finds her joy catching, though he doesn't believe her claim of being a thief, thinking she looks more like “a secretary late to work”. Stroking the wall again, Carmen coaxes the Cheshire into playing nice and prompts the visitor to try to hit his button again, but before he can do so, the doors slide open again to admit a third passenger: a “[[Kid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|nervous youth]]” carrying a bag filled with a leafy substance. Twitching, he accidentally drops it to the floor. Going to her knees, a frantic Carmen immediately identifies it as catnip and warns the visitor that they are now in “a world of trouble”. | |||
==== Chapter 41: The ‘Rock Room’ ==== | |||
A point-of-view character watches a smartly-dressed woman he mentally nicknamed [[Le Fox]] prepare to perform on stage with an acoustic guitar. A woman sitting next to him, whose intense blue eyes capture his attention, muses that she could swear the room was completely different last night. The point-of-view character concurs that [[the Rock Room]], much like the rest of the house, is “mercurial”, adapting to the needs of the people in it; instead of the current small, domed room, it has also been known to appear as an opera stage and everything in-between the two. The conversation ends as “Le Fox” begins her song in earnest. | |||
==== Chapter 42: Zen Garden ==== | |||
At 3 a.m., a resident of [[the House]] lies awake in bed, thoughts swirling through his head. Slipping on a robe, he gets up and wanders aimlessly through the corridors until he finds himself at an “unfamiliar sliding door”. He comes in and finds a room where several rakes of differing sizes lean against the wall. Grabbing one, he enters and find a [[The Zen Garden|room]] lit with a soft light which evokes moonlight, and housing two large sandboxes. The first sandbox has recently been raked; the other bears a brass plaque reading ''strength'' on one side, and another reading ''This space left intentionally blank'' on the other. Within, tiny bridges connect pools of moss, and in the centre there stands a small bonsai tree, “brethren of [[Walter (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Walter]] from the look of it”. Quietly, the night-wanderer begins to rake. | |||
==== Chapter 43: The Vault ==== | |||
Needing something from [[the Vault]], [[Frank the Janitor|Frank]] implements the rather complex series of steps needed to access it: climbing “the sound of chimes in [[the Courtyard]] to pluck a leaf from [[the Bodhi Tree]]”, collecting a [[certificate of sanity]] from the “non-mad-science corner” of [[the Lab]], plucking a certain key from underneath the 32nd seashell in [[the Painting]], consuming the leaf, handing the certificate to the [[personification of February]] to gain entry into [[the hallway to nowhere]], “turning left at Thursday”, and then chucking the key into “a vase on the ceiling above the painting of infinite sparrow hawks”. The door of the Vault duly unlocks; in the centre of the oppressive room is a wooden plinth. After crossing the final defence, a stream, in the proper manner (jumping twice on his right foot and then landing on his left across the stream), he finds a note on the plinth instead of the item he desired. | |||
===== Appendix 43-I: The Note ===== | |||
The note reads “''My apologies, I had to borrow the vacuum to clear up the mess made by the gardener in [[the North West attic]] under [[the reverse Koi pond]] next Saturday''”. To his annoyance, it is signed “[[Frank the Janitor]]”, and Frank realises that he took a wrong temporal turn at Thursday, ending up ''after'' he himself already borrowed the vacuum and thus creating a minor paradox. Grumpily, he sets about getting out of [[the Vault]] and retracing his steps. He recalls the rhyme telling him which of the opaque windows making up the walls of the Vault serves as an exit: “''Seven laps clockwise from the north, six counter from your new location, now keep stepping left and enter the fourth''”. He implements its direction, and, closing his eyes, steps backwards into a window, hoping he has the right one. | |||
==== Chapter 44: The Basement ==== | |||
A visitor to [[the House]] enters [[the Basement]] through a small staircase they hadn't noticed before. It is colder than the rest of the House, and they can hear the “clicking and stomping” of hundreds of machines which look like they've been here for over a millennium. Before long, they reach the end of the staircase, which connects to a “big copper bridge” which hovers over a veritable sea of gears and other metal parts. The sound is hypnotic instead of deafening, and before they can think better of it, the visitor finds themself taking one step too many and tumbling down. | |||
===== Appendix 44-I: Safety Catch ===== | |||
Before falling to their doom, however, the visitor is caught by a [[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|huge, yet friendly-looking robot]] who carries them back up the stairs. Dropping them at the door to the basement, it salutes and winks before disappearing in a blur. | |||
==== Chapter 45: The Cathedral ==== | |||
A weary writer visits [[the Cathedral]], which is dusty and abandoned, as “the stigma is too great”. Looking down at the floor, they can see the ancient, foreboding inscriptions: “''Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,/Your old men shall dream dreams,/Your young men shall see visions.''”. The writer steps forward towards the altar, “bathed in the stained-glass glow”, where dozens of writing implements have been laid. This symbolises a solemn vow to forsake writing forever, which no one has ever broken or indeed regretted. Hesitantly, the writer steps forward, clutching their fountain pen. | |||
==== Chapter 46: The Maids ==== | |||
An [[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|incarnation]] of [[Jenny Everywhere]] is interviewed by a [[Maid (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|senior]] [[Maid]], having applied to become one herself. The old Maid warns that her reputation precedes her, albeit in other incarnations than the present one, but grants that her “unique nature” may be an asset to [[the House]] as much as a burden. Jenny prompts her to simply ask the House Herself “what ''She'' thinks”, with the Maid replying that that will come “in due course”. First, however, the older Maid once again goes over the duties of a Maid and what joining [[Household Staff]] ''means'', including the fact that she can never leave the House again. Jenny reassures her that she has thought long and hard about the pros and cons, and is confident in her decision. Satisfied, the older Maid formally declares: “if you survive [[the Test]], you shall become a Maid. You will watch the House while [[Master of the House|the Master]] is away”. | |||
==== Chapter 47: The Fabulous Salon ==== | |||
[[The Fabulous Salon]] is described. “Wonderful” hands growing out of the doorway instantly “rinse, lather, dry, and perfume” all comers, even before they are greeted by [[the Triplets]] who run the salon. There were originally only three Triplets, but each of them was duplicated many times over after a “freak accident” in [[the Lab]], and all the clones work together in the Salon (“[[Bridget (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Bridget]]s specialize in hair, [[Xafira (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Xafira]]s are nail experts, and [[Valerie (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Valerie]]s are miracle workers with cosmetic surgery”). The room itself is “moody”, changing appearance in time with goings-on in the rest of [[the House]] (it “was once known to change into a black room with hundreds of roses when a troll somehow got stuck in [[the Elevator]]”), but it is generally long, with “thousands” of swivel chairs. Among more mundane items like hair dryers and brushes, it is also furnished with “pink [[gnome]]s” and “devices of mass destruction”, with it being rumoured that a few [[Dragon]]s lurk in the hair dye closet. The gossip magazines made available to patrons are “the latest gossip magazines of the House”, and services are paid in the form of hundreds of cupcakes, although discounts are available for parties and other such emergencies. | |||
==== Chapter 48: The Cotillion Cavern ==== | |||
[[The Cotillion Cavern]] is described. It is an enormously dangerous place: trapdoors open on the dance-floor at the end of every third waltz, daggers hang from the chandeliers by “slowly-disintegrating threads”, the air conditioning vents “occasionally expel laughing gas”, the music sometimes gets loud enough to rupture eardrums, and even the drinks are randomly laced with “any of the following: alcohol, cranberry juice, [[dragon]] [[dragon spit|spit]], paralyzing poison, truth serum, sleep syrup, pure caffeine, and other additives”. However, brave partygoers who manage to survive all the way through the deadly cotillion are rewarded with a treasure chest containing any combination of a long list of valuable or extroardinary items including “discounts for [[the Salon]], rubies, an egg of a [[giant sea rooster]], ropes of diamond, jet packs, a [[TARDIS]], hallucination inducers, a cryogenics manual, golden daggers, a pair of silver earrings, and a portal to [[Mars]]”. | |||
==== Chapter 49: The Roof ==== | |||
[[The Roof]] is described. Stretching as far as the eye can see and swept over by “vicious” winds, it is “covered in lines, dashes, squares, and circles of paint to help guide the many airborne creatures and machines that call the Roof home”; the latter include “airships, jumbo jets, hot air balloons, ornithopters, jet-proppelled wings, dragons of all shapes and sizes, [[zero gravity vest]]s, zeppelins, starships, UFOs,” and many more. Flight attendants constantly “scurry about” to help visitors “find, borrow, rent, buy, steal, or otherwise obtain” whatever “flying thing” will suit their needs, so long as they carry appropriate identification. For all its wonders, the Roof is hard to get to: one must take [[the Elevator]] to [[the Theater Room]], then go backstage to find a portal to the hair dye closet in [[the Salon]]. There, one of the [[dragon]]s will “beam” anyone who gives them “a sky lantern fueled with hydrogen” up to the Roof. | |||
==== Chapter 50: The Stage ==== | |||
[[The Stage]] is described. It is a dangerous, temperamental theatre stage; stained with what lore insists is just dye, it has heavy, purple velvet curtains which “have been known to swallow whole people up”, trapdoors which sometimes accidentally open, lights wont to catching on fire, and other such hazards, with rubber knives occasionally being replaced with metal ones. As such, only extremely adventurous and experienced entertainers dare to perform upon it, from “singers and musicians who have sung to pirates, princes, [[dragon]]s, peasants, and spies and lived to sing the tale” to actors who “are not really acting”. Indeed, many thrilling tales are told or performed on this stage, including “pirate adventures, tragedies from [[Angel|the Gardeners]], romances told by [[dragon]]s, space voyages told by aliens and astronauts, and so much more”. | |||
==== Chapter 51: The Doorbell? ==== | |||
A [[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|friend of Jenny Everywhere's]] stumbles through the gates into [[the Courtyard]]. She walks up to the thirty-foot-tall, [[The Doctor's TARDIS|TARDIS]]-blue double doors, and is surprised not to see the actual [[the House|House]] around them — just hundreds of seemingly floating windows that “show the wonders of the House”, and a “curious-looking, seemingly [[Japan]]ese bell with a matching stone mallet at its side”. Needing a place to stay, as she was recently knocked out and robbed of all her possessions (including “her pair of [[ruby chopstick]]s, which a [[space marauder (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|space marauder]] had kindly given her during the first trip she had taken to [[Mars]]”). The doors prove too thick to be knocked on effectively, so she picks up the large mallet and swings for the bell with it. To her surprise, it produces the sound of “a baby's laughter”. | |||
==== Chapter 52: The Guardian of the Ink Wells ==== | |||
A man called [[Oliver (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Oliver]] stumbles through “twisting, whispering hallways”, a stack of paper in his hands and pens, quills and paintbrushes filling his pockets. Following an eerie chant in a dead language, he makes his way to a giant gate made of golden pens, the room behind it too dark to see anything. Putting a hand on the gate, he calls out for “[[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|the Guardian]] of [[the Ink Wells]]”. The gate opens of its own accord, and he falls into the room, where an ominous voice asks what his business is. However, when he explains that he simply needs some ink, the lights flash on to reveal the Guardian, an unassuming teenage girl dressed in robes and [[Jenny Everywhere's goggles|aviator goggles]]. Gesturing at the giant holes in the cement floor behind her, she tells him to help himself to “any of the uncovered wells”, claiming that she has “all colors and liquids”. | |||
==== Chapter 53: The Airing Cupboard of Despair ==== | |||
A figure creeps through [[the Tunnel]], a clear glass tunnel which is being buffeted from outside by a swirling mass of inky blackness. Making their way to the end of the tunnel, the figure finds a hatch, glass too, with brass fitting. Despite the protests of other figures within the tunnel, they twist the handle and open the hatchway. Instead of the darkness flooding in to drown the tunnels, it disappears from the outside: the figure has let the light ''out''. | |||
==== Chapter 54: The Empty Room ==== | |||
[[The Empty Room]]. It is said to be the hardest room to access in the whole [[The Strange and Wonderful House|House]], but that is perhaps for the best, as no one in their right mind wants to access it: as soon as one enters the pure-white expanse within, one loses sight of the door itself, and becomes nothing but a non-corporeal point of awareness in the middle of the void, lost forever — “eternal, suspended, deathless”. Only [[the Architect]] knows how to get in and out, and it (for the Architect is an “it”) likes to spend its afternoons there, “thinking and drawing up blueprints for new rooms for [[the Infinite Wing]]”. | |||
==== Chapter 55: Teleporting Beach ==== | |||
Incongruously dressed in neon bathing suits, [[the Guardian of the Ink Wells]] and [[Treefrog]] make their way through [[the Gardens]], past the “[[The Bodhi Tree|gigantic tree]]”, until they reach [[the backyard]], where they finally find what they were looking for: a portal which suddenly teleports them to [[the Beach]], with soft black sand and blue water which almost seems to glow. The two girls, overjoyed, jump into the water and enjoy an hour of swimming in this somehow-''breathable'' sea. However, when they finally resurface, they find themselves teleported again — this time to [[the Library (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|the Library]]. | |||
===== | ===== Appendix 55-I: There is No Dripping in the Library ===== | ||
Stunned, [[the Guardian of the Ink Wells]] and [[Treefrog]] spend a few moments just standing there in [[the Library]], shivering in the cold and dripping down on the plush red carpeting, until they are confronted by [[the Librarian]], who shushes them sternly and seems particularly upset with the Guardian, who “should know better”. She refers to the latter as “Inkstain”, prompting Treefrog to remark on her friend apparently having had a name this whole time (though the Guardian denies that Inkstain is her ''actual'' name), until the Librarian silences them again with a “whispered” roar. | |||
==== Chapter 56: The Seven Hundred Nineteenth Airing Cupboard ==== | |||
A member of [[Household Staff]] who has spent their career inspecting all the airing cupboards in [[the House]] reaches [[the Seven Hundred Nineteenth Airing Cupboard|the Seven Hundred Nineteenth]]. This one is cramped and ordinary, containing nothing but a damp mop and an off-white water-heater whose enameling displays faint traces of rust. Two things bother the brave inspector: first, they long ago figured out, after the first hundred Cupboards, that with the House being so labyrinthine and mutable, they have no way of making sure they don't inspect the same one twice (even though there'd be “hell from [[Master of the House|above]]” if it became known that they had done so). Second, this water heater is “a forty-gallon job, quite possibly the cheapest one on the market” — and yet it's the only water they've seen in all their travels over the House. | |||
==== Chapter 57: The Spinning Room ==== | |||
[[The Spinning Room]] is described (in verse). It is hard to get to as its door is never in the same place twice, moving every second. As the name implies, it spins endlessly, with the only furniture being a chandelier which appears as just a blurred shimmer, and a device to keep the spinning movement from causing the room to spin out of its axis. The only figure in the Room who does not spin is [[the Room Keeper]]. | |||
==== | ==== Chapter 58: The Armory ==== | ||
... | Just off the corridor to [[the Guardroom]], a point-of-view character spots “two tall guardsmen holding tall halberds”, who snap to attention at the newcomer's arrival, but obediently pull open the “huge” double doors of [[the Guardroom]], simply telling him to “watch himself”. As he passes them, the visitor realises that they aren't holding halberds at all, but “oversized, elongated fountain pens”. Through the doors is “a vast space, filled by racks of pens of every description”. Welcomed by [[the Armourer]], an intimidating apron-wearing man with a [[hawk (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|hawk]] on his shoulder, the visitor hesitantly asks if there are any “actual weapons” in the room, and is stunned when the armourer pulls a nondescript ballpoint pen from his pocket only for it to transform before the visitor's eyes into a “large automatic rifle”. Grinning, the Armourer comments: “You know the saying about the pen and the sword — why not have both?”. | ||
==== | ==== Chapter 59: Room of Renewal ==== | ||
[[ | [[Robert Quick (in-universe)|A point-of-view character]] enters [[the Room of Renewal]], a serene shower room so vast that the walls are only visible in the distance, there is a blue sky above with fluffy white clouds, and the ground is covered with thick vines and broad, fan-shaped leaves, with round pools carved out of smooth brown stone and a “squiggly closed-loop river” with stylised wooden briges brooking it dotting the landscape. Though seeing no people around, the visitor notes the presence of a tray heaped with food, marked with a note reading “EAT ME!”. | ||
In the | ===== Appendix 59-I: Remnants and Reminders ===== | ||
In a prequel to the previous chapter, the visitor, revealed to be [[Robert Quick (in-universe)|one of the people]] who originally “dreamed up” [[the House]], is walking through a cream-coloured corridor when he is stopped in his tracks by “the sound of echoed laughter”. He is all the more surprised for the fact that he hadn't heard “any other voices than [his] own in a long time”, to the point of believing that the House was empty by now except for him. However, he hasn't ever been sure because the House is “connected to so many realities” — something which the creators of the House used to view as an advantage, but which was the reason there were “always dangers beyond our borders”; the survivor bitterly reflects that it's a wonder anyone survived at all. | |||
After musing that he hopes [[the Observatory]] is still keeping the bad guys at bay (whether they be [[Lovecraftian nightmare god]]s, steampunk pirates, [[zombie]]s, or other horrors), the survivor observes that a section of the hallway has been replaced with “a set of glass double-doors, the insides opaque”. After a moment's hesitation, he touches his palm to the glass, which is warm under the touch, and cracks the doors open. Steam escapes into the cool air, and, applying “a little more pressure”, the survivor opens them completely and steps inside. | |||
==== Chapter 60: The Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House ==== | |||
The [[Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|end]] of [[the Strange and Wonderful House]] has come: “all the artifacts ha[ve] been auctioned off, the [[ghost]]s ha[ve] all found other places to haunt, the alchemists ha[ve] moved their Great Work elsewhere”. The last two people to leave are [[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|Jenny Everywhere]] and a [[Dragon (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Dragon]], who watch forlornly as a bolt of lightning shoots down from the lead-coloured sky and strikes the House. A blue blame roars up and consumes the vast bulk of the House within moments, leaving nothing but ruins which crumble into [[the Tarn]]. After a long moment of silence, the Dragon declares: “So it goes. All things must have their time”, before asking Jenny if she “ha[s] taken everything [she] need[s]”. She nods and reveals what she came back for: a “[[House seed]]”, resembling a [[Christmas]] ornament. She tucks it into her pocket, remarking that she's sure she'll find some use for it someday. With no further ceremony, the two walk off elsewhere, leaving behind the silent shore of the Tarn. | |||
=== Worldbuilding=== | |||
====Jenny Everywhere==== | |||
* Not being limited to a single sequential human lifetime, various incarnations of Jenny Everywhere both passed through the House and settled down to live within it. | |||
** [[Jenny Everywhere#With the Architect|One version]] was acquainted with [[the Architect]], who gave her an entire wing to turn into [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum]]. The Museum is visited and filled out by many other incarnations of Jenny, with only Jennies and those they vet being allowed in. | |||
** [[Jenny Everywhere#As a Maid|One version]] of Jenny was of humbler status within the House, interviewing to become one of its Maids. | |||
** A [[Jenny Everywhere's friend (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|friend of Jenny's]] (in an unspecified incarnation) was told about the House by Jenny in great detail prior to visiting it herself in [[#Chapter 51: The Doorbell?|''The Doorbell?'']]. | |||
** Although she is never explicitly referred to as a Jenny, the [[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|“Guardian of the Ink Wells”]], also known as “Inkstain”, is “a small teenaged girl (…) dressed in a robe and aviator goggles”, and she has a [[Laura Drake#Treefrog|red-haired, freckled friend]] with whom she undergoes a teleportation misadventure. She states when asked that Inkstain is not her real name, but does not disclose the latter. | |||
** [[Jenny Everywhere#At the Fall of the Strange and Wonderful House|A Jenny]] witnesses the eventual fall of the house, later reappearing in the epilogue [[PROSE]]: ''[[Overgrown (short story)|Overgrown]]''. | |||
====Laura Drake==== | |||
* A [[Laura Drake#Lock of hair in the Museum|lock of red hair]] kept as a memento is among the items in [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum]]. | |||
* The “[[Jenny Everywhere#Guardian of the Ink Wells|Guardian of the Ink Wells]]” has a friend nicknamed [[Laura Drake#Treefrog|Treefrog]] who sports red hair and freckles. | |||
====Universes==== | ====Universes==== | ||
*Most of the story takes place in [[the Strange and Wonderful House]], which is “larger than most universes” and seems to connect to a number of alternative realities, though its exterior is physically located in [[Universe A (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a universe]]. | * Most of the story takes place in [[the Strange and Wonderful House]], which is “larger than most universes” and seems to connect to a number of alternative realities, though its exterior is physically located in [[Universe A (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a universe]]. | ||
*[[Elshanor]] and [[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]] are from [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|another universe]]. | * [[Elshanor]] and [[Alastair (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|Alastair]] are from [[Universe B (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|another universe]]. | ||
* Among the items within [[the Jenny Everywhere Museum]] are a [[miniature city]] from “[[Dead world (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a dead world]]”, a [[battlesuit]] from the [[Third War of Ascension]] on “[[Earth-33]]”, a portrait of Jenny painted by [[Leonardo Da Vinci#On Earth-274|Leonardo Da Vinci]] in the 19th century on “[[Earth-274]]”, “[[Bottle universe (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|a bottle filled with a miniature universe ]]”, and a computer allegedly linked to [[Universe C (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|“our” universe]]'s Internet via “clever multi-dimensional ITeching”. | |||
====Other==== | ====Other==== | ||
*[[Will-o'-wisp]]s are found in [[the Courtyard]]. | * [[Will-o'-wisp]]s are found in [[the Courtyard]]. | ||
*[[The Pleasure Pad of Federico Ruiz]] is compared to “a pearl on the red rock of [[Mars]]”. | * [[The Pleasure Pad of Federico Ruiz]] is compared to “a pearl on the red rock of [[Mars]]”. | ||
* The wealthy and decadent residents of the Pleasure Pad relax on “large cushions embroidered from the silk of mutated spiders”. | * The wealthy and decadent residents of the Pleasure Pad relax on “large cushions embroidered from the silk of mutated spiders”. | ||
*According to the author's comments of Chapter 3, the Pleasure Pad is not actually “the seedy underbelly of the House” because that name is better applied to “[[The Illegal Underground Greenhouse|the illegal underground greenhouse]]”. | * According to the author's comments of Chapter 3, the Pleasure Pad is not actually “the seedy underbelly of the House” because that name is better applied to “[[The Illegal Underground Greenhouse|the illegal underground greenhouse]]”. | ||
*Among the books kept in [[Hawk Manor]]'s library are various [[Ficlets]] works and the ''[[Ficlinomicon]]'', which needs to be kept in a case wrapped with chains. | * Among the books kept in [[Hawk Manor]]'s library are various [[Ficlets]] works and the ''[[Ficlinomicon]]'', which needs to be kept in a case wrapped with chains. | ||
*Walking back into her dusty, long-abandoned home makes [[Elshanor]] feel “like [[Pip]] in ''[[Great Expectations]]''”. | * Walking back into her dusty, long-abandoned home makes [[Elshanor]] feel “like [[Pip]] in ''[[Great Expectations]]''”. | ||
*[[Hallway - P13]] is described as having contours rather than angles “in [[Apple]] fashion”. | * [[Hallway - P13]] is described as having contours rather than angles “in [[Apple]] fashion”. | ||
*Among other things, [[the Dining Room]] can appear as “the [[viking]] halls of [[Valhalla]]”, with a ceiling “thatched with golden shields”; as “a festival held in a vast [[Byzantium|Byzantine]] palace”; or as a pub where one might listen to [[Iron Maiden]]. One “may hear [[Whitesnake]] on the jukebox or a {{w|Skald|Skald}} reciting ''[[Grímnismál]]''”. | * Among other things, [[the Dining Room]] can appear as “the [[viking]] halls of [[Valhalla]]”, with a ceiling “thatched with golden shields”; as “a festival held in a vast [[Byzantium|Byzantine]] palace”; or as a pub where one might listen to [[Iron Maiden]]. One “may hear [[Whitesnake]] on the jukebox or a {{w|Skald|Skald}} reciting ''[[Grímnismál]]''”. | ||
* In [[the North West Attic]], [[Oggie]], [[Mila]] and the narrator find “a majestic coat of arms for something called [[League of Awesomeness|the League]]”. | |||
* The [[Robot (Our Strange and Wonderful House)|robot]] in [[the Basement]] has “[[Cold War]]-era bulbs in place of eyes”. | |||
=== Continuity === | === Continuity === | ||
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===Read online=== | ===Read online=== | ||
The original prose pieces making up ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' can be found [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/ on Ficly], although a number of Appendices and a handful of Chapters are not listed as part of the Challenge and must be sought out individually. The 2022 annotated, collected ebook edition of ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' can be [https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house read online for free on Issuu] or downloaded for free as [https://www.mediafire.com/file/oais9prwch04of6/Our_Strange_and_Wonderful_House.pdf/file a PDF] or [https://www.mediafire.com/file/an9pv2bzkbgihw7/Our_Strange_and_Wonderful_House.epub/file an ePub]. | The original prose pieces making up ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' can be found [https://ficly.com/challenges/953/ on Ficly], although a number of Appendices and a handful of Chapters are not listed as part of the Challenge and must be sought out individually. The 2022 annotated, collected ebook edition of ''Our Strange and Wonderful House'' can be [https://issuu.com/goblinstudios/docs/our_strange_and_wonderful_house read online for free on Issuu] or downloaded for free as [https://www.mediafire.com/file/oais9prwch04of6/Our_Strange_and_Wonderful_House.pdf/file a PDF] or [https://www.mediafire.com/file/an9pv2bzkbgihw7/Our_Strange_and_Wonderful_House.epub/file an ePub]. | ||
===Watch online=== | |||
A [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZDNMlc77zY video trailer] for the story was made by [[Aristide Twain]] and is available for viewing on Youtube. | |||
[[Category:Stories]] | [[Category:Stories]] | ||
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[[Category:Written by H. S. Wift]] | [[Category:Written by H. S. Wift]] | ||
[[Category:Written by THX 0477]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Sir Bic]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Wednesday]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Jeanne Morningstar]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Memento]] | |||
[[Category:Written by 32 Squared]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Cecilia Harper]] | |||
[[Category:Written by MultiversalInk]] | |||
[[Category:Written by August 2nd]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Ludmila Yevgenovicha]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Nhrn]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Brokkoli]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Binky Lemontwist]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Fox Amongst Wolves]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Valen Lim]] | |||
[[Category:Written by McKennab]] | |||
[[Category:Written by Shu Sam Chen]] | |||
[[Category:Released in 2011]] | [[Category:Released in 2011]] | ||
[[Category:Featuring Jenny Everywhere]] | |||
[[Category:Featuring Laura Drake]] | |||
[[Category:Featuring the Devil]] | |||
[[Category:Featuring Superman]] | |||
[[Category:Multi-Shifter Stories]] | |||
[[Category:Installments of 30 Days of Jenny]] | |||