The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (short story): Difference between revisions

The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”... (short story) (view source)

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 |title1        = ''The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”, 2024: 2 Noodle, 2 Furious 2, The Electric Boogaloo, feat. the Piscons, Jenny Everywhere and the People’ Republic of China''
 |image1        =
-|hero(es)      = [[Noodle Man]]
+|hero(es)      = [[The Noodle Man]]
 |villain(s)    = [[Xavier Llewellyn (in-universe)|Xavier Llewellyn]]
 |featuring     = [[Aristide Twain (in-universe)|Aristide Twain]] <small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Plummiest of the Puddings]] <small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Ryan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Ryan]] <small>(mentioned)</small><br> [[Alan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Alan]] <small>(mentioned)</small><br> [[Noodle Wife]] <small>(mentioned)</small><br>[[Second Noodle Man II]]
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 After things go back to normal — or as much as they could in such a setting — Xavier's story syncs up with the real world story and the relationship between Xavier's universe and the real world reaches the point where it becomes confusing. So Xavier begins making things up as they go along, considering adding a joke about [[Ryan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|a man named Ryan]] and his [[Alan (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|sentient, omnipotent roulette wheel named Alan]] who traverse fan wikis, but decides not to.
-Ceasing their "crappy metafiction" and abandoning concocting a "deathly plan of vindictive vindictiveness" and their writing of a revenge fanfiction, Xavier decides to kill [[Noodle Man]].
+Ceasing their "crappy metafiction" and abandoning concocting a "deathly plan of vindictive vindictiveness" and their writing of a revenge fanfiction, Xavier decides to kill [[the Noodle Man]].
-Understanding that their universe is a part of the [[multiverse]], Xavier retrieves a [[Pot Noodle]] from a cupboard and begins stomping on the contents to summon the Noodle Man, all whilst calmly shouting, cursing and insulting the Noodle Man. Their ploy appears to work as a pile of wet noodles materialises in Xavier's universe, which then forms Noodle Man. Xavier maniacally smiles, completely sanely.
+Understanding that their universe is a part of the [[multiverse]], Xavier retrieves a [[Pot Noodle]] from a cupboard and begins stomping on the contents to summon the Noodle Man, all whilst calmly shouting, cursing and insulting the Noodle Man. Their ploy appears to work as a pile of wet noodles materialises in Xavier's universe, which then forms the Noodle Man. Xavier maniacally smiles, completely sanely.
-Noodle Man amiably raises his noodly arm in good faith to Xavier, but they whack it with a blender which knocks the fedora off Noodle Man's head. Xavier begins jumping up and down on that too. Telling Noodle Man — respectfully — to go "f*ck himself" and that he underestimates their power and hatred, they grab him by the trenchcoat and spins him around, plunging Noodle Man's head into a pre-prepared pan of boiling water. Xavier resists the pain of the heat as they sever Noodle Man's head, then spits on it.
+The Noodle Man amiably raises his noodly arm in good faith to Xavier, but they whack it with a blender which knocks the fedora off the Noodle Man's head. Xavier begins jumping up and down on that too. Telling the Noodle Man — respectfully — to go "f*ck himself" and that he underestimates their power and hatred, they grab him by the trenchcoat and spins him around, plunging the Noodle Man's head into a pre-prepared pan of boiling water. Xavier resists the pain of the heat as they sever the Noodle Man's head, then spits on it.
 :: "''And you didn't even F*CKING say ‘IT'S NOODLE TIME’ and noodled all over the place and made a noodbillion dollars! Talk about a missed opportunity!''"
-As the adrenaline dissipates, Xavier finishes boiling Noodle Man's head, garnished it and then eating it. This has an unexpected effect, however, as Xavier begins to convulse in pain as an ominous pool of blood seeps into their t-shirt and they feel a pressure from the inside of their chest — it ruptures to a fountain of bloodied noodles, a regenerated Noodle Man — [[Second Noodle Man II]]. However, just as Second Noodle Man II introduces himself to the world, a gamma-ray burst hits [[Earth (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Earth]] and decimates all life.
+As the adrenaline dissipates, Xavier finishes boiling the Noodle Man's head, garnished it and then eating it. This has an unexpected effect, however, as Xavier begins to convulse in pain as an ominous pool of blood seeps into their t-shirt and they feel a pressure from the inside of their chest — it ruptures to a fountain of bloodied noodles, a regenerated Noodle Man — [[Second Noodle Man II]]. However, just as Second Noodle Man II introduces himself to the world, a gamma-ray burst hits [[Earth (The Non-Canonical, Unlicensed and Non-Valid Sequel to Arcbeatle Press’(s) April Fool's Anthology “The Noodle Incident”...)|Earth]] and decimates all life.
 === Worldbuilding ===
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 ** Xavier did check, finding only a book titled ''[[The Naughty Noodle Incident]]'' that was illustrated with [[artificial intelligence|AI]] "artwork".
 * The [[Plummiest of the Puddings]] approves of Xavier's usage of the Noodle Man in their revenge fanfiction without technically ''licensing'' the Noodle Man.
-* Xavier's reference to his power and hatred of Noodle Man is an homage to ''[[Star Wars]]''.
+* Xavier's reference to his power and hatred of the Noodle Man is an homage to ''[[Star Wars]]''.
 * Xavier also references ''[[Morbius (film)|Morbius]]''.
 ==== Individuals ====
-* Xavier, to provoke Noodle Man, claims that the Pot Noodle they were stomping on was [[Noodle Wife]].
+* Xavier, to provoke the Noodle Man, claims that the Pot Noodle they were stomping on was [[Noodle Wife]].
 ==== Food and drink ====
-* Noodle Man is made out of [[noodle]]s. His voice even sounds like his mouth is full of noodles.
+* The Noodle Man is made out of [[noodle]]s. His voice even sounds like his mouth is full of noodles.
 * Xavier's temper "bubbl[es] like a pot of boiling noodles that had been forgotten about by its cooker, who had decided to make ''real'' food, such as [[Spam]] and [[cheese slice]]s and [[sausage]]s."
-* Xavier garnishes Noodle Man's head with [[sweet and sour sauce]] and [[faux-egg]].
+* Xavier garnishes the Noodle Man's head with [[sweet and sour sauce]] and [[faux-egg]].
 === Continuity ===